Controlling Anger

Abu Hurayrah said: A man said to the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam),
"Counsel me...he  said, "Do not become angry."  The man repeated [his
request] several times, and he said, "Do not become angry."

Anger is a natural human emotion, and therefore it is impossible for anyone
to never become angry.  The meaning of this hadeeth is that one should not
act upon his anger and should instead cultivate within himself opposite
qualities such as patience and tolerance and being forgiving.

At the time of being angry it is very hard to restrain oneself from
manifesting it with words or actions. In this regard the Messenger of Allaah
(salllallaahu alayhi wa sallam) sajd, "The strong is not the one who
overcomes people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls
himself while in anger.

More often than not, getting angry and losing your cool is ineffective and
counterproductive. Exploding and venting increases your angry feelings, puts
a strain on your relationships, and potentially damages your health. When you
become angry, your body goes through drastic changes: stress hormones are
released into the bloodstream. Heart rate and blood pressure surge upward,
the body's fat stores discharge causing cholesterol levels to rise, and the
immune system is temporarily suppressed as your body prepares itself for
'fight or flight.'

Though some people think that it is healthier to just "let it out," this view
is simply untrue  Research shows that people who vent their anger get more
angry  not  less (3) Perhaps you've noticed that once you start "letting it
out more and more comes out as you dredge up history and add that to what are
currently angry about.

As venting your anger only increases it is very likely that you will harm or
oppress those people at whom it is vented his is why the Prohet (sallallaahu
alayhi wa sallam) said "if one of you becomes angry, let him be quiet."
Suppressing your anger especially if you have been wronged in some way, is a
great struggle, but leads to Allaah's love and forgiveness:

And when they (i.e. those who believe)are angry, they forgive.   [Ash Shura
(42):37]

Those  [i.e. the  muttaqoon] who repress anger and who pardon men.[Al-lmraan
(3):134]

The Prophet (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) advised those who were in a fit
of anger to do things that would help to diffuse it.  For example, he said,
"If one of you gets angry and he is standing, let him sit and his anger will
go away; if not, then he should lie down." (5) Sitting down would make it
more difficult to act upon the anger and give you time to cool down. Lying
down makes it even more difficult to take any action and will help you to
relax and your body to return to normal.

Many times when we are angered, it is not really because of what someone else
has done but because of how we have viewed it, and our anger is a response to
those thoughts. Seek refuge in Allah from these whisperings of Shaytaan. Do
not let Shaytaan fool you into thinking that suppressing your anger is a sign
of weakness or that if you don't "stand up for yourself" by acting upon it
that people will look down on you and you will feel insulted and inferior
This is not true We know from the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa salaam)
that the one who controls himself at the time of anger is the one who is
strong. and we know from the Qur'aan that restraining one's anger and
forgiving even when angry are virtues.

Sulaimaan ibn Surad reported that two persons abused each other in the
presence of Allaah's  Messenger (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) and one of
them fell into a rage and his face became red,   Allah's Messenger
(sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, "I know of a wording, that if he were
to utter it, would get him out of the fit of anger. The word is: I seek
refuge in  Allaah  from Shayta an, the accursed (Ar. A'oodhu billaahi mm
ash-shaytaan-ir-rajeem)." Then a person went to him who had heard that from
the Messenger of Allah (sallalaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) and said to him, "Did
you hear what AIIaah's Messenger said?" He said, "know of a wording if he
were to say that, (the fit) would be no more (and the words are): I seek
refuge in AIlaah from Shaytaan, the accursed."  And the person said to him,
"Do you find me mad?" (6)

Imagine your appearance when you are angry and consider that your words and
behavior are a form of da'wah.  What are you calling to? Hostility, rage,
intolerance, harshness? As all of us are examples to others-new Muslims,
non-Muslims, our children-we must be careful to exemplify the qualities that
true believers should possess at all times.

Remember that being easily angered or acting upon your anger are signs of
weakness, and that patience and being forgiving even at the moment of anger
are real strength.

Notes:
1. Saheeh AI-Bukhaari (Arabic/English), vol 8,#137
2. Saheeh Al~Bukhaari (Arabic/English), vol  8, #135, and
Saheeh Muslim (Arabic-English), vol 4A, #2609
3. The Healthy Mind. Healthy Body
Handbook by Drs David S Sobel and
Robert Ornstein (Time Life Medical
Seriesj. pp 168~169.
4. Saneeh  Reported by ibn 'Abbaas and collected by Ahmad
(Saheeh AI-Jaami #693
5. Saheen  Reported by Abu Dharr and collected by Ahmad. Abu
Daawud and Inn Hibbaan (Saheeh Ai~Jaami #694
6. Saheeh AI.Bukhaan (Arabic;Engiish) vol 8  #126  and Saheeh
Muslim Arabic:English\}  vol 4A #2610  Refer to the footnote
of this hadeeth for a complete explanation

From: At-Taqwa (page 7) Muharram/Safar 1418. Islamic Cultural Center.
Department of Women's Education. Dammam, Saudi Arabia.

From: At-Taqwa (page 7) Muharram/Safar 1418. Islamic Cultural Center.
Department of Women's Education. Dammam, Saudi Arabia.