I Stand in Awe of You

You are beautiful beyond description,

to marvelous for words

To beautiful for comprehension,

like nothing ever seen or heard

Who can grasp your infinite wisdom?

Who can fathom the depth of your love?

You are beautiful beyond description

Majesty enthroned in love.

And I stand, I stand in awe of You

I stand, I stand in awe of You

Holy God to whom all praise is due,

I stand in awe, of You.

This song is very special to me, and I feel compelled (big surprise there*G*) to share with you WHY it means so much to me. The first time I heard this song, my husband and I were attending a church in Dover, Delaware, we were very new in our faith, and I fell in love with the song the first time I heard it. We grew apart from that church, or rather felt like God was leading us somewhere else to further our spiritual growth.

That was the last time I heard that song in church for a long time. Just recently, here in Okinawa, Japan, I had a very hard time in my spiritual walk with Jesus. I didn't have a problem with Him, I had a problem.... Ok, let me just share it all, instead of bits and pieces. I met a woman when we first moved here, who I really adored. We had "bible studies" sometimes and talked a great deal about God and religion. I knew she was not a Christian, but I was not educated enough in the other types of "religion" that are in our world, to know that this particular religion is nothing like Christianity. When I discovered the truth in her "religion" (which is pretty much that they don't believe anything that a Christian believes) I was not only heartbroken and discouraged, but also consumed with a guilt beyond any I had ever felt before. I cried to God because I just knew I had betrayed Him just by listening to her and talking with her about her beliefs. I felt as though, even though I was already saved, He would never ever forgive me for what I had done.

Now, I know that people commit worse crimes everyday and are forgiven. I also don't believe in being "un-saved", if you've read my Testimony of Faith, you know that I know that God does not pick and choose the sins we are forgiven for. But for some reason, I felt so low, and so condemned and like such a horrible, dispicable person for doing this. No, I never gave up my faith, no I never turned my back on Jesus, but I listened to a "false prophet" of the Bible. One who came to me "dressed as a sheep but raving as a wolf" (Matthew 7:15)

Sunday came and it was time for church. We dressed and went on over, me still very much discouraged and tired as well from praying for so long and so earnestly, and crying so much. We were late getting into the church so we sat in the back. Two songs played and then, lo and behold, what song should come up on the overhead? Yes, I Stand in Awe of You.

Oh, the tears did fall from my eyes, and they still fall as I type. It is truly amazing to me that God can work what we need in our lives around someplace that we will be. He doesn't stand in awe of me, I stand in Awe of HIM. And He knows that. What that song said to me that Sunday was "I know who you are, I know where you've been and where you're going. I know all about you.... and yet I love YOU."

Never before have I been brought to my knees so humbly before God. I have had the privelidge of witnessing His grace, His salvation and His miracles many times in my life, but never, ever have I had the floor scraped from under me and then been lifted up so gently and so lovingly.

In His Grip (and thankfully so!)

Dawn

"I say then, have they stumbled that they should fall? God forbid: but rather through their fall salvation is come..." Romans 11:11

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