Decided to go to a cooking show last night The place was filled, and oh, what a sight Men, mostly women, several hundred or so To learn new recipes and to see the show

I can tell you now it was a sight I suppose All us women in one room the noise level rose The decibels might've busted an ear drum or two We all got quiet when the lights blinked on cue

The hostess prepared dishes of wonderful stuff Especially the dessert that looked just like fluff As she worked she made it appear to look easy As she conversed she was funny and breezy

And after several dishes intermission came round We gave wild applause the stood up and found Everyone was heading for the same place as me Where oh were is that potty oh where can it be

Making my way to the lobby at the speed of sound The line that by then was forming wound all around Now curving this way then that it looked like a snake Was desperate, would someone hurry for petes sake

Hundreds of females lined up and down the halls Wouldn't you know it, had access to only two stalls Some girls looked like they were flooded to the eyes Every once in a while there was a moan or soft cries

With eyes looking round quite a few start to panic Then it really got bad cause I started to get frantic Now my bladder it's not quite what it used to be I sometimes get incontinence, jeesh, I got to pee

What drives me nuts is the mens bathroom door It opens and shuts rapidly and out they pour They have two stalls and some stand up ones too This is not fair for us gals but what can we do

So I am really ticked, now and I step out of line I stand in from of the male bastion and said fine OK girls in you go now you can do your thing If anyone tries interfering we'll form an iron ring

See how you guys like it to stand in a long line When we get through here you'll like it just fine Now you just turn around your sweet little tush Please go out in the back, find you a big bush

We women have it bad when men do the design They don't take into account we always find We pull up, push down, push down some more Sit down, stand up, dress in reverse, it's a bore

Meanwhile we now had use of two more stalls The lines are now getting shorter out in the halls Though the lines are small, some still holding it in We are giving thanks to some understanding men

A few of the men stood guard till the very last one Thank you, bless you we told each and every one Back to the auditorium hoping to finish the show Wanting to applaud the men the noise began to grow

It grew into a crescendo and we women all stood Thank you gents you are a credit to all man hood At the end of the show we all agreed to present All the prizes and gifts to the swell mannerly gents

Now tell me you have never experienced this fate Not enough potties and you were almost too late And tell me that once you went you weren't gladder Cause nothing feels so good as a nice empty bladder

Belljoye March 27, 2001

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