18 UNNATURAL LAWS
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Have you ever received a phone call the minute you stepped outside
your door? Certain astute individuals have noticed that such events are
not the exception but, rather, the rule.  Men like Murphy, Peter and
Parkinson have made it their life work to ferret out the operating
principles - the laws that govern the frustrating lives that we
mortals live.  Here is a small sampling of these laws.
 

MURPHY'S LAW
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If anything can go wrong, it will.
 

O'TOOL'S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY'S LAW
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Murphy was an optimist.
 

THE UNSPEAKABLE LAW
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As soon as you mention something ....
... if it's good, it goes away
... if it's bad, it happens.
 

NONRECIPROCAL LAWS OF EXPECTATIONS
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Negative expectations yield negative results.  Positive expectations
yield negative results.
 

HOWE'S LAW
-----------
Every man has a scheme that will not work.
 

ZYMURGY'S FIRST LAW OF EVOLVING SYSTEMS DYNAMICS
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Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a
larger can.
 

ETORRE'S OBSERVATION
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The other line moves faster.
 

SKINNER'S CONSTANT (FLANAGAN'S FINAGLING FACTOR)
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That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or
subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should
have got.
 

MURPHY'S LAW OF SELECTIVE GRAVITY
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An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
 

JENNING'S COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAW OF SELECTIVE GRAVITY
---------------------------------------------------------
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down
is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
 

GORDON'S FIRST LAW
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If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth
doing well.
 

MAIER'S LAW
------------
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
 

BOREN'S FIRST LAW
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When in doubt, mumble.
 

THE GOLDEN RULE OF ARTS AND SCIENCES
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Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
 

BARTH'S DISTINCTION
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There are two types of people: those who divide people into two
types, and those who don't
 

SEGAL'S LAW
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A man with one watch knows what time it is.  A man with two watches is
never sure.
 

THE NINETY-NINETY RULE OF PROJECT SCHEDULES
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The first 90 % of the task takes 90 % of the time, and the last 10%
takes the other 90 %
 

HOARE'S LAW OF LARGE PROBLEMS
------------------------------
Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.