A friend told me a joke one time. It went like this:
A newspaper reporter had been assigned to do a story on a local rancher. He didn't know a thing about ranches or cows but it was to be a human interest piece on the plight of the modern day cowboy.
As he pulled up the drive he saw the rancher out in the near pasture driving a few head of cows toward the holding pens where several hundred were already awaiting a truck for transportation to the stock yards.
As the rancher drew nearer the reporter began to feel like he had been transported to the old west and was watching history first hand. Grabbing his camera he walked toward the fence to get a few pictures for the article. As the rancher grew still nearer the reporter noticed that the guy on the horse was wearing a baseball cap and sneakers. Disappointed he let the camera hang from his neck and began walking out to meet the rancher..
After the introductions, the reporter inquired about the ranchers strange duds and said that he'd hoped to get some good pictures of a real cowboy. Laughing, the rancher replied, "What? You want me to look like a truck driver?
Over the years I have often heard reference made to the fact that a trucker is the modern day counterpart to the old range drovers. These were the guys who traversed this country on horseback, chasing cows, fighting natives and outlaws and as my friend, (I wish) Garth Brooks would say. listening to old Camp Cookie sing.
They scoured the Western States following exotic highways like the chisolm trail. They carried six guns and stopped at every saloon for a shot of whiskey, (It was to clear the dust out of their throats. Any fool knows that only whiskey will work for this..) Their favorite passtime besides chasing rustlers, was shooting at the stars to celebrate winning a saloon brawl against those dirt clawing nesters, or the local ranch hands.Man those guys had it easy.. Well except for the horse thing.. They only had 10 or 15 horses to move a couple hundred cows. We use 350 to 450 horses to move 20 or 30 cows.. As far as the rest of it, well I got news for ya pardner! They may have had to fight a few natives and outlaws but those boys wouldn't have a clue as to how to take care of a disgruntled dock worker. Let alone a dispatcher gone awry. And Camp Cookie? Heck he don't even ride with ya anymore. You got to go to him, and then he won't sing fer ya. He just slaps them beans on the plate and not so much as a how dya do..
The Chisolm trail would be gravy. You wanna see what work is really like? Well you just try to get a 53 foot load down I-15 through Salt Lake City at 6:00 in the evening. You'll be beggin for the CHISOLM TRAIL... They might have gotten hauled away for not carrying a six gun.. We get hauled away if we do and the Law checks us. Of course there are a lot of places where we'd be fools not to but a jail cell is better than a casket any ole day.
You wanna talk about dusty throats? If a truck driver gets caught within an arms reach of a shot of whiskey, he ain't allowed to play no more. We just drive along and have dusty throats all the time..
Those boys back then would get a month or so to make a drive from Salt Lake to Denver. We get 10 hours and better not be late..
Rustlers? Pushaw I say. I bet it was real tough following a herd of cattle across a muddy field. The rustlers today will hot wire your truck, pull out from under your trailer, hook up a different trailer that looks just like yours, right down to the numbers, then park it where you left it so you won't notice anything is different. By the time you find out, Your freight is being sold at a swap meet in Tiajuana. Try tracking that down..
So friend if you wanna get all googly eyed about the romantic lifestyle us truckers live, well you better just take all those cool things mister L'Amour taught ya and throw em out the window.. You climb in a big rig and you have just entered the "REAL LIFE ZONE"!!!..
Okay, Okay, It's that sarcasm flaw in my personality showing up again. I just couldn't resist. Truth be known, I too picture us as a bunch of range rovers just like the ole boys I been talkin' bout.. I started getting E-mail from another driver the other day and we have been discussing the similarities between our lives and those of the old Cowboys. There are a lot of them if you think about it.. I don't know how "romantic" that is but I guess it is the thing that draws so many of us into this life style. We complain a lot but even the guys who complain the worst and find other jobs usually end up back in a truck eventually. Many of us still dream of one day riding for our own brand. (me NOT included) We even call our truck a horse and in case you are wondering, Yes I wear a cowboy hat and pointed boots.
A little postscript to this story. I drove truck for many years before I became an electrician. It was something I wanted to do all my life. Had I never gotten married and became a parent, I imagine I would have remained a trucker.
You will notice below, that I traded the cowboy hat and boots for a derby hat and logging boots. Blimey...... could that make me an Irish redneck?.
Ken.