 |         |  |
 | ||
Here are some helpful tips I've learned over the years. These things will save you
alot of heartache in the long run.
Chores
-Start them out with something small that they can do to help. Dusting is a good chore for smaller children. A good thing to remember is that if you don't demand it, they won't do it and years down the road, you will be frustrated and wondering why your children appear lazy. The very first chore you should work on with all children old enough to walk is picking up after themselves. Some parents are STILL cleaning their children's rooms when they're teenagers because they never made them learn when they were small and now they don't want to. Don't give them a choice. Establish your authority right off. I know it's alot easier to clean up after them when they're little but although it's a "chore" in itself to walk them through it by the hand each time, it pays off in the long run. Peer Pressure
-Peer pressure starts out at a very early age. Earlier than you might think because even if they don't say it, they are still thinking it when they see other children doing things they know they aren't allowed to do. We have this problem alot in our house because there are alot of things that others do that we don't. ALWAYS be ready with an explanation. Never say things like, "because you can't" or "that's them not you". If everyone else is going to see the latest fright movie, and you know that there is NO WAY you're going to allow your children to see it, explain God's views on such things and the dangers of living out of the will of God. If you have said no, you have a reason and it's important for you chldren to know your reason. Saying No
-Saying no can sometimes be a difficult thing for some parents. But when you say it, make sure you stick by it. If you are constantly changing your mind or allowing your child to weedle you into relenting, then "no" becomes negotiable. You don't want to deal with the problems that can cause. After a while, you begin to appear unstable in ALL your ways and your child will have a tough time distinguishing when you mean it and when you don't. It's confusing for them and it tears down a very important trust that should develope between you and your child. Don't say no if there is no good reason. You can't stand by something you can't explain. It's equally important to follow through with your promises. If you have told them you will read them a story after lunch, make sure you do it. Even if you feel they don't "deserve" it because of bad behavior, if you haven't made that a condition before hand, use another form of discipline but keep the promise made previously. Respect
-Learning respect begins very early. When my girls were little, they began certain things that were unacceptable, like saying "no" or fit throwing. The things is, if you allow it the first time, thinking that they are too little to correct, you have actually allowed them to form a habit of sorts that will be extremely difficult to correct later. It's harder on them to break a habit they have started than to not do something at all in the first place. My children are 13 and 14 years old and I rarely, if ever have to spank them anymore. Not because they are too old but because they just don't do the things that I've spent years teaching them not to do. They do not mouth off or disrespect adults. They know the limits. They have learned through experience that it won't be tolerated and they just don't do it. If give them an order, they are quick to get about it. They don't whine or "huff" because when they first started doing it, I handled it right then. My children are shocked when they see other kids disrespecting their parents and have come to associate this with a lack of love on the parents part. I have quoted often to them the scripture in the bible that says a man hateth his child if he refuses to discipline him. When I see the results of a severe lack of discipline in a child, I understand why God would say such a thing for these children are unlikable and extremely difficult to be around. It takes alot of effort to raise a child properly and there are alot of things to teach. Nothing can be put off till later if it occurs now. Otherwise, you create insurmountable heartache in both your child and in you. Parenting means getting up NOW when a situation for correction presents itself, even when you just don't think you can face another incident. If you establish your limits right off, you will have alot less to deal with. Boundries
-Boundries are so very important. Boundries can mean your childs life one day if you aren't steadfast in enforcing them. When my children were very little, we lived near a road. If they got very near the road, I would call them back. Have you ever seen a mother tell her child to come and the child ignored her? This is because she never established boundries. When I said "come here", the girls came. This is because I went after them and delivered a couple of well placed slaps on little legs when they didn't. It doesn't take long for them to figure out that it's extremely improfitable for them not to listen to you. It's hard to do but the first time you see hesitation and then resignation in their little faces and they actually come when they're called, it's worth it and you feel a great accomplishment. This will really save contention and heartache when the kids get older and their little indiscresions become alot bigger. I once heard a story about a missionary deep in the jungle of Africa. His small son was outside playing and the missionary noticed that a very poisenous snake was hanging from a tree just above little "Johnny's" head. The father spoke in a calm but authoritative voice to his son and told him to drop down on his belly and crawl to him quickly. The child did not hesitate but did so immediately and without question. His life was saved because of instant obedience. If we love our children, the greatest thing we can ever teach them is obedience.
