Wacky   Wit

One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
 

When you finally get your head together your body falls apart.

That brain cells come and brain cells go but fat cells live forever.

Just when you get used to yesterday,along comes today.

if at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.

Amazing ! You just hang something  in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Always be nice to your children, because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

The man who boast he never made a mistake, has a wife who did.

Puppy love is just a prelude to a dogs life.

The mind is like television, When it goes blank its a good idea to turn off the sound.

Nothing in this world is friendlier than a wet dog.

By the time a man finds greener pastures,he's too old to climb the fence.

If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there.

The penalty for bigamy is two mother-in-laws

Laughter is the sun, that drives winter from the human face.