Terry's 3M's
I woke up this morning with kids playing Super Nintendo in my bedroom. The game machine has been removed from my TV for a week as a couple of the players had already been grounded from playing; but, they were playing anyway.
The girls are at a skating/birthday party. So the boys and I made cupcakes from the box of Halloween cake mix and we will frost them when they cool.
It was bad enough that my son got into trouble for hitting his cousin at school on Thursday. It was even worse to find out that when a teacher tried to stop the fight, he told her that she wasn't his boss and he didn't have to listen.
We had a discussion about who is allowed to boss him. But, it is so hard these days to teach that because there are so many exceptions. I want him to obey the teachers, custodian, librarian, people in the office, teachers aides and helpers, and school guards. However, with all the incidents of people in authority abusing their trusts to harm kids, it's hard to explain when it's okay not to obey an adult.
As a child, I wouldn't have dared to think about deliberately disobeying an adult. It never occured to me that I had the option of refusing to go near my dying, pedophile uncle when he ordered me to "Come here." I don't want my son to be of the same mindset...but, I don't want him disobeying an adult when it comes to his safety or the safety of others either. Or when it comes to his schoolwork.
Sometimes, it's hard to be a parent today. Kids have been warned about all kinds of child abuse. So much so that when I sent my niece to her room and told her that she would be spending the day in her room for lying, she told me that that was child abuse and she was going to report me for it. I told her to go ahead.
Another nephew, (one who doesn't live here) was told by my other sister that he was to sit on the couch for something he did (it was a couple of years ago and the reason now escapes me), he attempted to get up and she held onto his shirt and wouldn't let go. When it looked as though he was going to get up anyway, she bopped him on the top of the head with the handle of a screwdriver she was holding. The phone was within reach. So, he dialed 911 and told the operator that his aunt wouldn't let him off the couch and kept hitting him on the head with a screwdriver. She said, loud enough to be heard on the other end of the phone, "Once".
His call was transferred. He repeated his story and I guess he was surprised to learn that not everything an adult does to disipline a child is child abuse. He wouldn't tell us what they told him. But, they did refuse to come out and investigate. I'm sure that the officers had a laugh over the phone call after my nephew hung up.
He was 14 at the time and thought that he was old enough to be his own boss. I had grounded him one time because he was supposed to be spending the night at a friend's house and I got a phone call from the police because he was out (in a different neighborhood) after curfew. He told me that he was leaving the house and there was nothing I could do to stop him. So, I wrestled him to the living room floor and sat on him. He asked one of the kids to bring the phone to him so that he could call 911 (this was before he made that other call). Well, he did stay in, but, I tell you, sometimes, it's rough being the disiplinarian.
for the border background set.