Various Jokes </head> <body> <H1> Various Jokes </H1> <H2> Man in a bar... </H2> This guy goes into a bar looking real depressed, and orders a drink. As soon as it hits the bar, the man shoots it down and orders another. The sympathetic bartender asks, "Any thing you want to talk about?" <BR> The depressed man replies "Well for the last couple months, I suspected my wife was cheeting on me. So today, I took the day off work to follow her. When I came home for lunch, I caught her screwing my best friend." <BR> "Wow" replied the bartender, "If you don't mind me asking, what do you say to your best friend in that situation?" <BR> The man replied, "Well I looked him right in the eye, and I yelled, BAD DOG!!!" <H2> Frog... </H2> A man was crossing a road when a frog called out to him; "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. <BR> The frog spoke again; "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I will stay with you for a week". The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. <BR> The frog then cried out; "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess I'll stay with you for a week and do ANYTHING you want". Again the man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. <BR> The frog shouted; "What's the matter with you? I've told you I am a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" <BR> The man replied; "I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend but a talking frog is cool" <H2> Lone Ranger... </H2> The lone ranger and Tonto are feeling a bit thirsty. Been a hard days's outlaw bashing in a blazing hot desert, so they decide to nip into the local for a qick beer. They're about half way thorugh their 2nd pint when a cowboy bursts in. <p> "Who owns that white horse outside ?" he asks. The Lone Ranger stands up and says "I do. Why ? " "Well, he don't look too good to me, pardner. Fact is I think he's dying." <p> The Lone Ranger and Tonto rush outside to find a severely heat exhausted Silver. Quickly, they give the poor horse some water, and the the Lone Ranger turns to Tonto. "Why don't you run around him ? Perhaps you'll generate a nice draft to keep him cool.". "OK, Kimosabe" says Tonto and starts running in circles around the horse. <p> "Oh well" thinks the Lone Ranger. "Might as well finish my beer" and goes back inside. A couple of minutes later another cowboy runs in. <p> "Who owns that white horse outside ? " he asks. "I do." says the Lone Ranger. "Why ? What's up with him now ? " "Oh, nothing." says the cowboy. "Just thought you'd like to know you left your injun running." <p> <HR> <p> <a href="index.html">Back to Home</a> <br> <a href="mailto:%20gwadding@gresults.com">Email me </a>or <a href="/cgi-bin/geoplus_apps/ans_entry"> sign Guestbook </a>or <a href="geobook.html"> View Guestbook</a> </p> </BODY> </HTML>