To Smart Women Everywhere

  1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
    -Dolly Parton-
  2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
    -Erica Jong-
  3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
    -Rita Rudner-
  4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
    -Rita Rudner-
  5. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
    -Wendy Liebman-
  6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
    -Erma Bombeck-
  7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
    -Sue Grafton-
  8. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
    -Roseanne Barr-
  9. I think-therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead-
  10. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
    -Elayne Boosler-
  11. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
    -Maryon Pearson-
  12. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
    -Gilda Rudner-
  13. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
    -Margaret Thatcher-
  14. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
    -Gloria Steinem-
  15. Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
    -Gloria Steinem-
  16. I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
    -Marie Corelli-
  17. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
    -Baroness Edith Summerskill-
  18. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck
    -Linda Ellerbee-
  19. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
    -Zsa Zsa Gabor-
  20. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
    -Eleanor Roosevelt-

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