Both Hands




Lyrics to Ani's Song...


With Both Hands...

he let me touch it with both hands. his beautiful bass guitar. he let me hold it. we were sitting around that random afternoon in july, listening to the stereo and i asked if i could. he handed it over and i ran my fingers gently along the strings. he smiled as we kept listening to the ani album, not a pretty girl, that i had put in. he said he liked the music and i said i liked the guitar.

i remember it was so smooth under my fingers. i handed it back to him and he kept playing. he was good, really he is. and even though he probably didn't know it at the time, he sparked the interest in me on that warm day, on the ugly couch. of course i'd always had it a little, maybe everyone does, that desire to learn to play music, play the guitar. but of course i won't tell him that. i can't. he'd think i was stranger than he already does.

i've had other friends that played instruments, and some of them have been pretty good, if i do say so myself (and i guess i do), but when they talked about music, it wasn't like him. they would talk about making it or being famous or other shit like that. about learning notes. not him, no, he'd talk about how it felt under his fingers, to hold it and create with it. how he'd feel when the sounds were coming from him, his guitar, the men around him. how great it felt to have someone come up to him after a concert, "that was really amazing," and how they'd relate to him. he talked about how happy he made him. when things were falling apart, he'd talk about how good it made him feel.

so, i did it. i went out and bought an acoustic guitar. found a wierd long-haired teacher. i learned the strings and how to tune it. i learned the spacing of a guitar. i learned how to let my fingers slide up and down the neck. i learned how to strum strum strum. and i learned my first chords.

i told my bass guitared friend what i was doing, even though we didn't live anywhere near to the same town anymore, and i could feel him laughing and smiling across the miles. and he was right. it did feel so good to just have this music- in- waiting sitting on your lap. it felt wonderful.

but i wanted to learn songs. i really wanted to learn ani. i knew she was out of my league, but it didn't matter. i wanted to learn how. and back i went to my guitar teacher, with a little smile and pages of ani tabs printed on blue paper. and he let me play with these things i couldn't handle yet, and eventually i learned to play some of her music.

the first song i learned to play was both hands. it's one of her first and easiest songs, but still beautiful. and my left fingers learned the places they needed to bend, and my right fingers learned how to pick out the strings they needed to pluck together. and i felt good. it felt good to be making music. i felt connected. i sat out in my backyard playing the song, and began learning more... rush hour, two little girls, buildings and bridges, the story, itch, falling is like this, sorry i am, everest... the list goes on...

and i'm not really a guitarist. i like it a lot, and it's worth the time i put into it, but i'll never be like my bass-toting friend. i'll never be like that. and that's ok. really, it is. because i guess maybe i am a little like him. i don't do it because i want to be a musician, i do it because it makes me feel so good...

but i learned to play guitar. i took the initiative to try something new. new and maybe silly, but i'm happy i did. now i have something to look forward to, and i can't wait to get home and hold it with both hands again...



Backwards to Born a Lion
Forward to Cloud Blood


backbackback