in the lost and found...

"i think i'm going to build a fence to keep inside my little sense...sense of taste, sense of smell, sense to sit here and feel like hell..." -blind melon

i wake up still dreaming.....longing and lusting for something...dramatic, exciting...i want to be enraptured, i want to feel passion. i want to be....awake! i'm tired from drowsily viewing the world as an entity separate from myself... i want...i want...

i remember when i used to be amazed by breathing. in and out...stop and you feel pain...breathe too fast, too much...and it overwhelms your body until you're left crying and suffocating waiting for someone to help you. i want to feel that again. i want to hear a name--see a face--that makes me choke on my own air. i want to be so amazed, excited, intruiged.... what if it never happens again?

we slip slide through the world without looking, without understanding, without feeling, without caring. it's enough to make a soul sick... it's enough to make my soul sick.

there comes a time when we have to realize our own reality.




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