A colony of 1000 Earth men and women, selected from the most intelligent and able-bodied applicants,
landed its spaceship on the planet Sift, in a nearby Solar System. Due to a persistent cloud cover,
the planet is very dark. The Sifters eagerly greet the colony and employ a highly successful method
of communication. Despite many similarities that are happily discovered, there are some differences.
These seem to be few and, at first glance, easily overcome.
Both groups eagerly agree to be examined by the others' physicians.
Two days later, both were ready to report their findings.
The Earth Physicians' Report:
The people of Sift are quite nice and friendly, although mildly grosteque looking and somewhat small in stature. Due to the ever present darkness that they encounter, their eyes do not respond to light, but to infrared rays. The frequency of their vocal cords include the same range as our own, and also extend into an inaudible frequency range. The foods here, consist of highly complex compounds and their digestive system consists of a double stomach. The first stomach predigests the food, while the second one is very similar to our own.
Like us, they have two arms, but theirs are wing-liked and without our five finger hand, only pads. Of course, all of their eating utensils are integrated for their use. They write with special pens that use infrared radiation sources which, while visible to them, are not visible to us. The Sifts only possess one leg, which is as broad as ours, but end in stump-like pads. The rolling motion of these pods enable them to walk.
The Sifters live in high-rise apartments, which look like our own, but there are no elevators or stairways. They just fly up into their apartments though doors located on the walls of the structures. A combination of individualized high-pitched signals, both open and close these door locks.
All manual labor is performed by computers and by robots with similar physical features as ours (including hands). Computers are operated by those high frequency pitches which are taught to the children in school.
The Sift Physicians' Report:
The Earth people are blind; they have no infrared vision. They speak of being able to see light, but we do not know of what they speak. They are partially aphasic, as their vocal cords do not have the vibration capacity at our high frequencies. Of more immediate consequence is the fact that the earth people cannot eat. Their digestive system is incapable of breaking down our food products. We will have to address this problem soon as their food source is in short supply and is expected only to last the week.
Of course, as you've noticed, they are totally dependent in flying and, because of their size, they are also dependent in transferring in and out of our cars. We would suggest that they be required to walk, however slow they may be.It appears that the Earth people cannot live anywhere on our planet. They say their dwellings are much like ours, but kept asking if we had "stairs" or elevators". Except perhaps for the first floor on of our dwellings, these people really have no place to live.
At first glance, the Earth people will be unable to work on our planet. Without the ability of high frequency vocal cords, they cannot learn how to operate our computers or our robots. Some of them look strong enough to work along side of our robots, but we suspect they will consider this to be menial employment.Also, 25 percent of them are severly depressed.
Mr. President, these people are clearly severly and totally disabled.
What shall we do?