Triad

(Upon awaking at 3 a.m.)

Goodbye my love, I let you go -
You, who are supreme unreality.
For I can not hold you,
Not even in the warm night,
Not in that place where
I would find acceptance.
Home is not to be found
In your arms in a dream in the darkness.
For reality must be obeyed.
She intrudes even my dreams so
I cannot find that place where I belong.

You are the epitome of unreality.
So much so, even my dreams
Cannot hold you.
(But, I believe all men to be so.)
Even in the warm darkness
I can find no place of rest,
No place where I belong and am accepted.

Dreams, you have turned me out!
In you I find no solace
For unreality has named me "exile"
And has cast me aside.
No arms to hold me,
No heart with which to be at one.

III

My own dreams have betrayed me! -
And I am cast adrift.
The night offers no respite
From my self-inflicted solitude.
My mind hastens to remind me of reality
And I am bereft of solace.

I find no arms to hold me in the night time.
There is no smile to warm my heart
In slumbers sweet embrace.
Reality, you will have your way
And thump me on the head!
"Awake! You are alone, remember."
Won't you be silent for just a few hours?