JUNIOR: Ok, Laura, here's one for you . What did the baby corn say to the mommy corn?

MOM: Hmmm. Let's see .

JUNIOR: Where's "pop"corn?

MOM: Really, Junior.

JUNIOR: Try this one . what did the digital clock say to its mother?

MOM: (sigh) Let's here it.

JUNIOR: Look, Ma, no hands!

MOM: I guess I have heard that one a few times.

JUNIOR: We have to write a paper at school about what our Mom's do. Joey's mom is a doctor, Peter's mom is a teacher, Angie's mom is a bank executive with lots of power - but you're not anything, Mom - I don't know what to write.

MOM: Oh - thanks a lot - I'm not anything. What do you think I do around here all day every day?

JUNIOR: Nothin'

MOM: Well, maybe I'll just stop doing "nothin" so you can see what happens when Mom does "nothin"

JUNIOR: I didn't mean "nothin" - I just meant nothing important.

MOM: Keep digging, Jr., you're going deeper & deeper .

JUNIOR: Well, maybe if you had a resume, like Peter's mom, that would help me do my report.

MOM: A resume. Huh ..

JUNIOR: Yeah, a list of all the things you do well - you take it with you when you want to get a REAL job

MOM: So, you don't think your Mom has a REAL job .

JUNIOR: Well, Dad doesn't pay you to stay here, does he?

MOM: Do you see anybody standing in line at our door, wanting to take my job?

JUNIOR: Well, no . but that's cause you don't do anything

MOM: Ok - you want a resume, I'll give you one.

JUNIOR: Ok . shoot!

MOM: Resume of a Mother: Fully qualified as chauffeur, cook, professor, social director, laundress .

JUNIOR: What's that?

MOM: A laundress is the person who does the wash . (continues) she's a bookkeeper and a banker. There is no salary, health plan, or vacation days. She works seven days a week and holidays.

JUNIOR: Boy, this job sounds hard.

MOM: (continues) She can thaw hamburger in the dry cycle of the dishwasher and use it in 27 different ways, she is a seamstress, a receptionist taking phone messages for those who have a social life, she plays cards with sick kids who cheat, she can make Christmas ornaments out of just about anything, she can make cookies in heart shapes for Valentines, Turkeys for Thanksgiving and stars for Christmas and they taste wonderful. She is a police woman who keeps the kids from killing one another, she wipes noses, kisses owies, cleans the refrigerator, mops the floors, mows the lawn, eats lunches that would be thrown away, teaches honesty and manners, like Please and Thank You, spends days on a lawn chair at Little League games - even in the rain, and she DRIVES. DRIVES. DRIVES. DRIVES and DRIVES!

JUNIOR: Holy cow! I quit writing at receptionist.

MOM: Oh, I'm only getting started, this resume goes on for days .

JUNIOR: I think I get the idea. It sure is hard being a mom . I don't think I'm gonna be one

MOM: You know, Jr. mom's keep being mom's not because of all the work they have to do, but because of the great benefits.

JUNIOR: You mean dad pays you? Wow - I never knew that - way to go Da..

MOM: No, Dad doesn't pay me - my rewards are eternal

JUNIOR: You mean God pays you - Wow! This is going to be the best paper in the classroom. BOSS (pause) GOD. Pay (pause) - eter ..

MOM: Eternal. Everything in life isn't measured by how much money you make.

JUNIOR: But Joey's mom drives a Jaguar - and he has a Nintendo and .

MOM: and your Mom drives a 1983 rusty Oldsmobile and you just have a plain old color TV

JUNIOR: (sheepishly) well, kind of

MOM: who takes Joey to the park after school?

JUNIOR: he doesn't get to go to the park, he goes home to an empty house and starts making dinner

MOM: who cheers for Peter on the baseball team?

JUNIOR: Peter can't play baseball - there's no one home to bring him to practice

MOM: Who takes Angie to piano lessons?

JUNIOR: She doesn't play the piano

MOM: Who takes you to the swimming pool in the summer?

JUNIOR: Well, you do. And you take me to baseball and to the park and to piano lessons -- you do lots of cool stuff with me. Oh, NOW I get it . I guess you wouldn't HAVE to do all that, huh? The other kids moms don't have time to do that stuff. I guess you're kind of neat to have around.

MOM: Wow - hearing you say that is worth more than any other $500 a week job to me

JUNIOR: So you really do DO this because you LIKE it - even if it's a lousy paying job.

MOM: Yes, I'm a mother because God blessed me with children to care for. And I do like it - but I would never say the pay is lousy. Yes, Jr., some mothers have to work at another job AND be a mom too - that's a hard thing to do.

JUNIOR: Well, I'm glad you just stay here and do noth . - I mean do everything you do

MOM: And I'm glad you figured out that I actually do DO SOMETHING - even if it doesn't have a fancy title

JUNIOR: Hey - you know somthing, Dad thinks your powerful.

MOM: He does?

JUNIOR: Sure. do you remember that day last week when you were gone and Dad had to get us dressed, pack our lunches and take us to school on time?

MOM: I sure do . you were all late.

JUNIOR: Well, we didn't want to be marked late, so we had Dad write us a note.

MOM: So how did he explain that one?.

JUNIOR: He just wrote "Please excuse this lateness. Our power went out early this morning!"

MOM: Very interesting!

JUNIOR: So I guess that's why there's a special day for Mom's and not a special day for Doctors or Bank Managers or Carpenters .

MOM: I guess so.

JUNIOR: Well, I think that everyone should tell their Mom's today how important they are and how much they love them.

MOM: Good idea, Jr.

JUNIOR: Dear God - thank you for teaching me that it takes special power from you to be a Mom. Thank you for giving me a Mom who loves you and shares that love with her children. Amen.

THE END