A local business was looking for office help. they put a sign in the window, stating the following:
"HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual.
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside.
He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then he walked over to the sign,
looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager
looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked
determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped
up on
the chair and stared at the manager.
The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter.
He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him,
then jumped back on the chair.
The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have
to be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. He proceeded to enter
and execute a perfect program that worked flawlessly the first time.
By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said,
"I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting
abilities.
However, I STILL can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences
that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but,
the sign ALSO says that you have to be bilingual."
The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow!"
********************
A man's long lost uncle dies and the man is surprised to find that he
has inherited the uncle's pet parrot. He decides to keep the parrot
out of respect and a bit of guilt that he had not contacted the uncle
in many years.
It turns out that the parrot is a horrible creature, always cursing
and raising hell. The man tries everything to placate the bird. He buys it
gourmet food, plays music for it, gives it toys, spares no expense in
trying to improve the bird's disposition. No luck! the bird swears at him
everytime he comes into the room, throws his food all over the house
and screeches continually.
One day the man is cleaning the parrot's roost and the parrot bites the
man's hand. The man flies into a rage, grabs the screaming bird, and throws
him
into the freezer and shuts the door. He can still hear the parrot cursing
and screeching and haising hell, when suddenly all goes quiet. The man
regains his composure and thinks, "Oh, dear, I shouldn't have put him in the
freezer. I hope I haven't killed him."
He rushes back to the freezer and opens the door. The parrot calmly walks
out and sits quietly on the man's hand and says, "Sir, I am most sorry for my
previous behavior. I humbly beg your forgiveness and can assure you
that no such thing will ever happen again."
The man is astonished and while he tries to think of a response, the parrot
asks, "If you don't mind my asking, how bad was the chicken in there?"
********************
****
The rhino is a homely beast...
For human eyes he's not a feast.
Farewell, farewell you old rhinoceros.
I'll stare at something less prepoceros.
