OK so I'm in this channel for Wiccans, and this guy comes in asking for information about the religion. Since I'm so nice, I was able to help him with any questions he had. Here's what happened.

<my_vitriol> HI
<Phronk> Howdy.
<my_vitriol> I was simply wondering about wiccan spells
<my_vitriol> I know that it is a religion "and not a game"
<Phronk> Cool. Wanna know how to cast a fireball?
<my_vitriol> Yeah
<Phronk> Ok I'll tell you how.
<Phronk> But you should practice this on pets first, because you don't wanna kill any innocent people at first.
<my_vitriol> ok
<my_vitriol> tell me more
<Phronk> Okay..
<Phronk> You'll need two mangos.
<my_vitriol> yes
<Phronk> And a spoon.
<my_vitriol> ok
<Phronk> And a nipplewort plant. [Note: Nipplewort is a real plant! Look it up.)
<my_vitriol> ok
<Phronk> And a match.
<Phronk> You with me?
<my_vitriol> yes
<Phronk> Ok now take the match...
<Phronk> And light it.
<Phronk> Then take the spoon, and wash it. You CANNOT have dirty spoons lying around.
<my_vitriol> yes
<Phronk> Ok, then you light the mangos on fire.
<my_vitriol> ok
<my_vitriol> but will thay burn?
<my_vitriol> they
<Phronk> Yes they should burn. It might take a few matches.
<my_vitriol> ok
<Phronk> Ok now here's the crucial part.
<my_vitriol> I'm listening
<Phronk> Throw the nipplewort onto the burning mangos, and inhale the fumes.
<Phronk> You'll feel a little light headed, but try not to pass out.
<my_vitriol> ok
<Phronk> Ok so in a few mintues you'll be nice 'n high.
<Phronk> Then you pick up the mangos, and throw them at the family pet.
<my_vitriol> lol
<Phronk> And that is how you cast a fireball.
<my_vitriol> thanks!
<Phronk> No prob! Remember, don't hurt anyone, it ruins the balance and the Goddess will kick your butt yadda yadda.

Wheee. Note: I have nothing against the Wiccan religion, and in fact I think it's pretty damn cool. Oh and yes, I realize it really has nothing to do with casting fireballs.