- Interlude -
[Meanwhile, somewhere in the Delta Quadrant, the USS Voyager is traveling among
the stars. The camera then changes to a view of the Bridge...]
Kim : Captain, the sensors are picking up a ship approaching at warp 1!
Distance, 8 000 000 km.
Janeway : What kind of ship is it?
Kim : It seems to be... a Ferengi shuttle!
Chakotay : A Ferengi shuttle here in the Delta Quadrant? How can it be?
Janeway : Maybe they were brought here by the Caretaker, too... or maybe they
have the key for returning to our Quadrant! Put it on screen!
[The Ferengi shuttle appears on the main viewscreen)
Paris : Captain, they are hailing us!
Janeway : Open a channel!
[The viewscreen shows two Ferengi aboard the ship...]
Janeway : I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway, of the USS Voyager. Who are you and
what are you doing here on this Quadrant?
Aridor : Let us introduce ourselves. I'm Dr. Aridor and this is Kol. We are
a patrol ship from the Ferengi Alliance. You have just entered
territory claimed by the Ferengi Alliance.
Paris : The Ferengi claim this part of the Delta Quadrant?
Kol : Yes, my friend. We've got exclusive rights for any commerce and/or
travel in this region. You're currently violating those rights by
crossing this space, so you'll have to pay or else... you'll be
guilty for causing a diplomatic incident between the Federation
and the Ferengi Alliance.
Janeway : [To Paris] Disconnect the audio. [To Tuvok] Well, Mr. Tuvok, what
do you think about what they've just said?
Tuvok : Captain, I think they're bluffing. If it were a patrol ship, its
base should be in the range of our long range sensors. It is more
likely that this is just a survey team that somehow manged to get
to this part of the Galaxy. If we can learn how they did it, maybe
we can use the same way to return back to the Alpha Quadrant. I'd
suggest you to follow their game and try to find out what they're
really doing here and any other useful information.
Janeway : Thanks for your advice, Mr. Tuvok. Mr. Paris, connect the audio
again.
[The audio is reconnected]
Janeway : Excuse me, but I don't have notices of any ship having arrived
here before _WE_ did. We claim this section of the Delta Quadrant
as territory of the Federation and don't acknowledge any rights
like the ones you are claiming. For us, it's you who are invading
Federation territory.
Aridor : You're talking nonsense! The Ferengi have had the exclusive rights
over this zone of the Galaxy ever since 6 years ago!
Janeway : So you claim you've been travelling to this section of the Galaxy
for 6 years? The only way you could have been doing that would be
by using a stable wormhole - and the only one we've found is the
Bajoran wormhole... which leads to the Gamma Quadrant!
Aridor : That's the only one _YOU_ have been able to find! We Ferengi have
found this other one... and we have the exclusive rights over its
use!
Janeway : You say there is another stable wormhole which leads here to the
Delta Quadrant? Could you take us there so we can have a look at
it?
Kol : Well, you see... this is a _TOLL_ wormhole - if you want to use it
or even _see it_ you'll have to pay our price!
Janeway : How much are you talking about?
Kol : Let me see... some... five thousand?
Aridor : Ten thousand!
Kol : Yes... cheap, only ten thousand bars of gold-pressed latinum.
Janeway : Ten thousand! We don't have that quantity aboard our ship!
Aridor : No latinum, no wormhole...
Kol : Maybe they could give us their SHIP...
Janeway : The USS Voyager belongs to Starfleet and is not negotiable!
Kol : Well, if you are not interested, then goodbye.
Janeway : Don't be foolish... wherever you go, we'll be able to follow you.
You're aboard a shuttle, with less autonomy, speed and power than
_we_ do. We can follow you ANYWHERE. You'll have to eventually
return to your base, and then we'll find out where it is located.
Aridor : Well, Captain, if you put it that way... our survey has taken us
a bit longer than we expected. Give us some supplies and we'll
gladly take you there...
Janeway : Prepare to receive the supplies in half an hour... and don't try
any tricks...
Aridor : Oh, of course not, Captain!
[The Ferengi close their viewscreen]
Janeway : Chakotay, tell Neelix to cook plenty of his meals... guess who's
coming for dinner.
[This story is to be continued...]
- Act XI -
[Back on the Enterprise-E, which continues docked to DS9... Bones regains his
consciousness]
McCoy : Oh, damn! I just had a terrible nightmare involving that greenhorn
of Julian Bashir...
Spock : How do you feel, Doctor?
McCoy : Oh, I only feel my head a little bit dizzy... but except for that,
I'm feeling as good as I had not in more than 50 years!
Scotty : It's no wonder... after drinking that silly beverage that Ferengi
served us, it's logical you feel dizzy!
Spock : _Very_ logical.
McCoy : Did it work? A mirror, quick! Give me my bag! [Scotty handles it
to him, and he takes a mirror and a portrait out of it] YES! I'm
younger! [Looking at the portrait] Damn it, what happened to this
portrait?
Spock : Let me see...
[McCoy gives him the portrait. As the camera focuses on it, it shows the face
of a cadaverous Dr. McCoy]
Spock : Fascinating...
Scotty : So this was the secret of the elixir... "The Portrait of Bones
McCoy", hahaha...
McCoy : Give me that back! [He takes the portrait from Spock's hands and
puts it back in his bag, together with the mirror] Funny... I could
swear that for a brief moment I saw Captain Terrell's face on that
mirror... Well, gentlemen, now that we are ready to travel, let's
go!
Spock : Not so fast, Doctor - we need a _ship_.
McCoy : Oh, details, details... can't you have your mind on anything else,
Spock? I've disposed of this ship.
Scotty : The Enterprise? We are taking the Enterprise in order to rescue
Captain Kirk?
McCoy : Come, men.. let's go to the Bridge. You too, Spock, you damned
Vulcan.
[They exit the room and moments later are seen entering the Bridge]
Picard : Admiral! You - you look younger - just like - Admiral Jameson!
McCoy : You're very perceptive, Captain Picard! Yes, I've enhanced the
youth elixir which Mark drank.
Picard : [Whispering to Bones's ear] Can it make the hair grow back, too?
McCoy : [Whispering to Picard] Sorry - there is no elixir left.
Picard : MERDE! [Needs no translation]
McCoy : Well, now let's talk about business. We need this ship in order to
go to the Veridian System and slingshot two months back to the
past.
Picard : To the Veridian System? A slingshot? Are you nuts? Slingshots were
forbidden after STIV!
Data : Besides, Sir, the presence of the Enterprise-E on the Veridian
System at the same time as the Enterprise-D...
Spock : ... could cause a rupture in the space-time continuum which could
lead to the destruction of the whole Universe! Think a moment about
it, Doctor! I suggest we get another ship.
Scotty : Hey, how about giving us one of your shuttlecraft?
RIker : Are you kidding? We gave you the Goddard and you still haven't
brought it back!
Picard : Besides, I doubt you could successfully slingshot with a shuttle!
Let's better go to DS9 and see if they have any extra runabout...
Number One, Mr. Worf, come with me. Mr. Data, the Bridge is yours.
Data : Really? Oh, that's the best present I could have ever had! Let me
kiss you!
Picard : Ha-ha-ha. Let's go.
[Picard, Riker, Worf, Bones, Spock and Scotty leave the Bridge]
- Act XII -
[At DS9's Command Center...]
Dax : Benjamin, Starfleet reports that Thomas Riker has evaded from the
Federation Penal Settlement in New Zealand and is probably coming
this way in order to join the Maquis again. They order us to
capture him as soon as he arrives to this part of the Galaxy.
Sisko : Alert Security immediately! I want every available man guarding
all the accesses to the Station, and put extra security at the
Defiant's docking area.
Odo : Security alert! All available security personnel to all the
accesses and to the Defiant's dock!
[Picard, Riker, Worf, Bones, Spock and Scotty enter the Command Center]
Kira : There he is! Get him!
[Odo and half a dozen security guards seize Riker]
Riker : Hey, what's happening here? This must be some kind of mistake!
Odo : This is no mistake, Lt. Riker - this time we were warned about
you!
Riker : What? I'm COMMANDER Riker, not LIEUTENAT Riker!
Sisko : Oh, yes? Computer, where is Commander Riker?
Computer : Commander Riker is in the Station's Command Center.
Sisko : There, you see? The computer is mistaking you for Commander Riker,
the same way it did before, so you really are _Lieutenant_ Riker!
Constable, take him to a comfortable cell!
Odo : It'll be a pleasure, Captain. Now Quark will have someone to play
chess with...
Riker : Wait! I'm telling you this is a mistake! Captain!
[Riker is taken out by the security guards, while Picard watches without idea
of what he's witnessing]
Sisko : Ah, Mr. Worf! I'm glad to see you've returned here to resume your
duties!
Picard : What?! First you jail my Number One and now you want to take my
Security Chief for you?
Sisko : Oh, if you want, I can give you back Chief O'Brien...
O'Brien : Huh?
Picard : Worf will serve aboard the Enterprise as Security Chief!
Sisko : No way! We need him here as Audience Keeper!
Picard : Listen, as your superior, I order you to give me Worf back!
Sisko : You've been missing last season's episodes - I've been promoted to
Captain, so you are no longer my superior. And now you are aboard
_my_ Station! I can do anything I want and nobody can do anything
about it!
Picard : [grabbing Worf's right arm] He's mine!
Sisko : [grabbing Worf's left arm] He's _mine_!
Alexander : [Clinging to Worf's right leg] He's mine!
Troi : [Clinging to Worf's neck] He's MINE!
Kira : [Approaching the camera] Isn't he _lovely_? And you too can get
your own Worf doll for only $ 35.97 at your local toy store. Far
better than a Teddy for any Trekkie!
[Suddenly, the door opens and Riker enters, holding a phaser set on maximum
stun]
Riker : Nobody move! Drop your weapons and raise your hands!
[Worf is dropped with the weapons, too]
Picard : You came just in time, Number One! Let's return to the Enterprise.
Mr. Worf, can you walk or is your spine broken again?
Worf : [Raising from the floor] My spine is OK, Sir. But my neck, my two
arms and my right leg...
Picard : I only asked about your spine! So, let's go. [To Riker] Once aboard
the Enterprise, you must tell me how you managed to escape from
jail, change your clothes and get that phaser so quickly, Will...
Riker : Will? Oh, yes... yes, Captain. Oh, it was very easy...
[Picard, Worf and Riker exit the Command Center. As for Deanna and Alexander,
they just vanished in much the same way they appeared for the commercial. Dr.
McCoy, Spock and Scotty remain there]
Sisko : And what can I do for you, gentlemen?
McCoy : You see, we need a warp-capable ship and we thought you could give
us one of the many you have.
Sisko : Do you have any in mind?
Scotty : Yes, we were thinking about that 'Defiant' you have parked right
out there...
Sisko : In no way! Now that we've lost Worf, we'll be forced to make an
extensive use of the Defiant in order to keep our audience!
Spock : Well, I think we could make it with one of your Runabouts...
Sisko : Let me see... the 'Rio Grande' is currently on a mission in the
Gamma Quadrant... the 'Rubicon' is under repair... the 'Mekong'
just crashed in last week's episode... Wait a minute! I was just
forgetting... hmmm... yes, you can take the 'Little Bighorn'!
McCoy : 'Little Bighorn'? You have a Runabout with such a name?
Sisko : Yes, we do. And it is in as good a state as if it were totally new,
since nobody has ever wanted to use it! It's completely yours, if
you want it!
Spock : Well, superstition is illogical. I suggest we take it, since it
suits our needs perfectly.
McCoy : Now wait a minute! I'm not...
Dax : Benjamin! An unidentified ship has just appeared through the
Bajoran Wormhole!
Sisko : Any particularities that can give us an idea of its origin?
Dax : Well, its size is more or less that of a Borg cube-ship, but its
design is totally different!
Sisko : The Borg? Raise shields! Signal red alert! Call the Enterprise back
and send a message to Starfleet Command! Mount all phasers!
[To be continued...]
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