The Rimmer Song
If your in trouble he will save the day.
He's brave and he's fearless, come what may.
With-out him the mission would go astray.
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.
With-out him life would be much grimmer.
He's handsome, trim and no one's slimmer.
He will never need a zimmer.
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.
More reliable than a garden strimmer.
He's never been mistaken for Yul Brenner.
He's not bold and he's head doesn't glimmer.
Master of the wit and the repartee.
His command of space corp directives is uncanny.
How come he's such a genius? Don't ask me, ask..
Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.
He's also a fantastic swimmer.
And if you play your cards right,
Then he just might come 'round for dinner.
The eXtended video had an extra verse to this song, I haven't checked, but have been told these are the words:
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer
No rhymes left now apart from quibber
We hope they fade us out before we get to schwimmer
Fade out you stupid plimmer!
Red Dwarf 7