Once in a Lifetime

"Now what am I suppose to do
when I want you in my world.
How can I want you for myself
when you're already someone's girl.
I guess I'll see you next lifetime."
-Erykah Badu

"In our past, lies our future."
-Unknown

By Argo69
argo69sm@mailcity.com

(c) "It's Love" Productions December 1998

For Katie..."Restrained and Released for your pleasure...."
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LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The characters Janice Covington, Melinda Pappas, Xena: Warrior Princess and Gabrielle, along with their back-stories, are the sole property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended. The story, along with other characters besides the ones mentioned above, are the sole property of the author. This fan fiction cannot be sold for profit in any way. This story is intended for private enjoyment only. This story may be posted and archived only with the author's permission, and it must carry all disclaimers and copyright information.

VIOLENCE WARNING: Danger Will Robinson Danger! This story contains some scenes of violence. Nothing that intense..well, okay maybe just a little, but you should be able to sleep at night. Nothing too scary. No one was hurt..honest. The bullets are fake...so is the blood and stunt people were brought in for the more intense stuff. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

LOVE/SEXUAL WARNING: This story contains a romantic/sexual relationship between two consenting, adult women. If this is illegal where you live or you are under 18, PLEASE DO NOT READ IT. Go out and do something else...I'm sure it's a nice day. And for anyone who finds this kind of thing offensive...I feel really sorry for you because love between two people is always beautiful and special...and I can only hope you discover that one of these days. It is highly recommended that you view the Xena: Warrior Princess episode The Xena Scrolls before you read this story...it will save you a lot of confusion.

I think that about covers it and if I missed anything....well, that's just too bad because I hate all this legal stuff and I think its about time we get to the story...so without any further ado or delay.....

This story takes place a few months after The Xena Scrolls (don't worry you don't need to know the exact number...there won't be a quiz later or anything).
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Prologue

"There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea.
You became the light on the dark side of me."
-Seal

"Ready, sweetheart?" Perdicus asked as he took her hand. She couldn't stop smiling. Today was the beginning of a whole new life for her. She knew she was ready for whatever the future had in store. She had a husband and pretty soon there would be a home and a family to look after. Deep down, she knew this is what she had always wanted, but this was still the most difficult decision of her life. For close to two years, Xena had been her only family. Their friendship bound them closer than blood ever could; Xena had even said that, but now she was bound to someone else. Perdicus was her family now. She turned around to look at Xena once more. She was standing in the middle of the temple holding the bouquet of flowers she had given her. As she gazed upon those lucid blue eyes, she felt a sudden wave of sadness wash over her and another feeling she couldn't quite put into words. She wanted to run over to Xena and embrace her. She wanted to touch her face and reassure her that they would always be together. She wanted those strong arms to hold her tightly, and she wanted to stay there...forever. She felt Perdicus slowly pulling her away from the only person who knew her, who understood her and who accepted who she was, but she didn't fight him. She had never realized how much she truly needed Xena and how much she always expected her to be there. She smiled warmly at Xena trying to hide the darkness that was slowly invading her soul. She let Perdicus lead her outside the temple. He was her husband, after all, and she was heading toward her future.

Xena could only watch as her best friend walked away. Gabrielle looked beautiful as a bride. Perdicus was a very lucky man. She knew this was all for the best. Gabrielle deserved a stable home with a man who truly loved her. She deserved a loving husband and a family. She deserved...well, she deserved everything Xena couldn't give her. What did she have to offer Gabrielle...nothing but danger and destruction. Even though she had changed from her evil warlord ways, Xena found irony in the fact that evil never ceased to find her. She had never felt right putting Gabrielle in harm's way every day they traveled, but the more they were together, the more she realized she couldn't face all this evil without her. Perdicus grabbed her hand now. She was really walking away. Even though, they had promised to see each other often, things could never be the way they were. How could they be? She was his wife now. Perdicus would be the one to wake up next to her everyday. He would be the one to comfort her when something was wrong. He would be the one to hear her tell stories. She belonged to him now. Xena felt a sudden pressure on her chest. Gabrielle turned to look at her once more. Xena met her eyes and she smiled slightly. This is what she wanted and it was all for the best. Those words were her sole comfort. She waved good-bye slightly as Gabrielle turned and walked away. She was truly gone. Xena felt as if her life suddenly lost light, and she would have to struggle to find her way around in the darkness. Darkness...she had been there before, but this time she didn't like the feeling. She wanted that light back. She needed back. Even though she wouldn't let Gabrielle say it, she whispered, "good-bye." And there was nothing left to say.

Chapter 1: Darkness Fades

She opened her eyes. There was light coming from somewhere. Her eyes were out of focus and her mind seemed clouded. She tried to look around, but she couldn't focus in on anything. She gently rubbed her eyes and tried hard to focus in on something.... anything. She could make out a shape...what was that...it looks like...flowers? Flowers? What the hell are flowers doing in the middle of the Macedonia? They never grow out here. But something told her she wasn't in the Macedonia anymore. The vague shapes surrounding her suddenly came into clearer focus. She looked around and found that she was in a bed-a soft, comfortable bed, nothing like the cots she was used to. And in a really nice room too. Sunlight streamed in through two large windows on the left side of the bed. Where the hell was she? She didn't like the feeling of being out of control. The fog began to lift from her mind and was replaced by a pounding headache. She rubbed her temples and tried to speak, but her mouth was very dry. She swallowed hard twice and tried to speak. In a soft whisper she called, "Mel," but her voice seemed silent even to herself. She cleared her throat, and tried again. "Mel," she said as hard as she could. Her eyelids grew heavily as her limbs began to grow stiff. She closed her eyes and hoped that someone heard.

She didn't know how much time had elapsed from the time she closed eyes to when she opened them again, but when she did, she found Mel sitting on the bed looking down at her. She blinked twice just to reassure herself she was really seeing what she thought she was seeing. She smiled and was relieved to see that Mel smiled back. "Well at least I know I'm not dying," she thought to herself.

"Well...it looks like Dr. Covington has decided to join the land of the living once again."

Janice smiled again upon hearing the familiar southern accent. "Well, someone has to keep you entertained." Her voice was still faint and her words seemed slightly slurred, but
at least she could hear herself this time. "This may sound like a really stupid question, but where exactly are we?"

"You don't remember," Mel said in a concerned tone.

"Can't say that I do." She tried to lift her head, but it seemed too heavy. Her arms and legs felt like lead and her vision was still slightly blurred. Janice hated feeling this helpless.

"No, don't try to move." Mel put her hands on Janice's shoulders and forced them back down. "You really don't remember."

"No...I was kinda hoping that you could fill in someone of the details."

"What exactly do you remember?"

Janice's mind flashed to a vague recollection of holding someone coupled with an overwhelming feeling of sadness and loss. She remembered looking into crystal blue eyes; the same blue eyes that were now staring at her. "Xena...."

"Xena? I mean we have been working on the scrolls for months. I was hoping that you could narrow the field just a bit."

"No, I think I had a dream about Xena, but I really can't remember. I really can't remember much of anything." She chuckled slightly hoping to make light of her current lack of recall abilities. "How long have I been out?"

Mel looked away from Janice for a moment as if she knew her sick friend would not like the answer that she was about to hear. "Almost two days."

"Two days," Janice grew slightly louder, almost returning to its normal level. "What the hell happened?"

"Best as I can figure you caught some kind of bug before we left Macedonia. You fainted like a southern belle right after you crossed my threshold. The doctor said that we had to wait until the fever broke before we could know for sure, but he's pretty sure that it was just a bug and there will be no permanent damage." Mel watched as Janice seemed to process the information she had just received.

"Well...except to my ego and my reputation. I have never gotten sick at a dig before, and believe me I'm hardly the type who faints. If some of my poker buddies got wind of this, I would never hear the end of it." Janice suddenly realized that she was in Mel's childhood bedroom in her South Carolina mansion. A picture of Mel as a child hung on the wall near the bed and a collection of dolls was on a shelf just beside it. Nice place, Janice thought to herself. The room was washed in sunlight that seemed to make the white room glow with warmth. She looked around the room and noticed it was just as she thought Mel's bedroom would be, comfortable, nicely decorated and...completely feminine. Janice never had much use for satin and lace...or a collection of dolls. Some bits and piece of the past few days were slowly coming back to her. She remembered getting off the plane and feeling sick to her stomach, but of course she didn't let on how bad she was feeling. She convinced herself it was just something she ate.

"Well...you're secret is safe with me." Mel crossed her heart in mock fashion and smiled warmly at her bed-ridden friend. "I won't tell a living soul about your fainting spell."

Janice realized that she was missing her usual clothes. Her khaki pants and cotton shirt were no wear to be found. She was in a long, silk nightgown. Probably one of Mel's...wait, where's my hat...she felt naked without her hat. As if reading her mind, Mel tossed Janice her weatherworn hat. "I knew when you woke up that would be the first thing you would look for." Mel got up off the bed and smiled. "I should let you rest. You need to get your strength back."

Janice grabbed Mel's hand. "Thanks...for...everything." Janice was no good when it came to parting with sentiments.

Mel took Janice's hand in hers and squeezed it slightly before placing back on the bed. "You would do the same for me." Mel retreated back into the hall and Janice was alone again. Mel was right. She would do the same thing for her. Janice was never really good at making and keeping acquaintances, but with Mel it was different. At first, Janice would have given anything to send her back to pampered milieu from which she came. The spoiled brat was often how Janice referred to her partner during the first few months, but she wasn't. She was a giving, gentle and kind soul who never complained and always made do with what was given to her. And no matter how many times Janice lost her temper or answered questions with harsh words, Mel would always be there when those moods subsided. Mel was truly a class act. She was so much that Janice wasn't. Sometimes, Janice envied such purity of heart and soul. She hadn't been that innocent since she was ten. She had seen and been through too much.

She gently fingered the bullet holes in her hat. She remembered the day she got them....the day she met Mel. She smiled to herself. If you had told me back then that I would eventually be lying in her bed half-naked, I would have told you you were crazy. There was something about Mel that made her feel at ease...like they had known each other forever. And maybe they did seeing as their ancestors, Xena and Gabrielle, were so closely connected. But there was something else...Janice had never had a true friend before. Growing up on dig sites with her father didn't help matters. A "grave-robber" father didn't exactly win any friends. She always felt so unconnected to the world around her. Before he died, her father was her anchor. But now, she was beginning to realize that Mel was becoming her anchor...her sole connection to this world. If this connection was ever severed, Janice felt like she would just drift away. But that was never going to happen....Mel would always be here. Janice smiled and placed her hat on the nightstand next to her. She knew it would be there when she woke up. She closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep.

Chapter 2: Doctor's Orders

Janice sat up on the bed. The white and pink pillows offered support to her stiff back. She stared up at the high ceilings and continued to make mental notes of her surroundings as if this room held some answers to Janice's questions about her best friend. The room was covered with pictures of Mel as a young child. One picture particularly interested Janice. Mel, looking about eight in the picture complete with pigtails and a missing front tooth, was riding a horse while her father held the reins. Instead of looking at the camera, Mel's child-like gaze was aimed directly at her father. "I guess we both had awe inspiring fathers," Janice thought to herself. As she held the silver picture frame in her hand, she wondered what it would have been like to have known Mel when she was a child. In many ways, Janice mused, Mel was the woman she could have been if not for her unusual upbringing with her unusual father in his unusual profession. Mel seemed to bring out the qualities within her she had long since buried. In the months they had spent together, Janice found herself worrying about Mel's well being, her safety, but above all, she wanted Mel to be happy.

The morning sun made its way through the curtains. The streaks reflected off the windowpane and cast golden glows across the plushy carpeted room. She had slept through the night without incident or any dreams. Janice seemed jarred by the fact that her dreams about the Warrior Princess and her ancestor bard were growing increasingly frequent. She found it strange to be experiencing thoughts and feelings of two people who died thousand of years before, but she doubted any of these dreams were based on any sort of historical reality. Janice just felt her overactive imagination was working on overdrive. After all, now that the myth was firm reality and she discovered she was distantly related to the bard who chronicled the ancient warrior woman's exploits, she could see how her unconscious would fool her into thinking she has some sort of spiritual connection with Xena and Gabrielle.

Janice sighed and placed the silver picture frame in its original position on the nightstand. She picked up her old, weatherworn hat and placed it firmly on her head. At least now she felt a little bit more comfortable. Janice moved her legs and wiggled her toes underneath the white cotton sheets to reassure herself that she still had the ability to move, and she was beginning to feel the need to use her legs. She hated being in one place for too long...especially immobile in a bed...well alone anyway.

The doctor had just given her a clean bill of health. As Mel suspected, her illness was brought on by a viral infection she must have picked up before they left Macedonia. The fact that she hadn't taken a break from the dig in eight months didn't help matters either, but what could she do. She knew there were more scrolls to be found. She couldn't rest until she found them all. She owed it to her father. The doctor ordered Janice to take it easy for a while. Her body spent a lot of energy fighting off the infection so some more bed rest and healthy eating was the order of the day.

Janice's thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. "Come on in."

Mel pushed the door open with her backside as she drifted into the room with a tray of food. "I brought you something to eat. You haven't had anything solid in quite a while."
Mel smirked slightly when she saw Janice wearing her hat. "Making a fashion statement."

Janice pushed her hat up with one finger and replied, "you know how I love to make any kind of statement." Mel settled the tray of food in front of her, but Janice quickly tried to stop the food from getting any closer. "I'm not really that hungry."

"Now, I know you're sick." In time she had known Janice, that phrase had never passed her lips. "You have to eat something. I don't want you to get sick again." Mel sat on the edge of the bed unwrapping the knife and fork from its tight cloth napkin cocoon. She gingerly placed the lily-white napkin on Janice's lap avoiding her protesting hands.

"Mel, I'll be fine. Don't worry your pretty little head off. This is the first time I've gotten sick in five years, and I don't plan on getting sick anytime soon." She brought her hat off her head and unfolded the inside the lining of the hat. Her fingers removed a small, tightly wrapped cigar and she said, "I could use a light though." She had been saving this one for a special occasion. I guess battling a viral infection will have to do. She put the cigar in her mouth. She loved the taste of a good cigar.

Mel took the cigar out of Janice's mouth and put it on the tray. "I'll give you a light just as soon as you clean that plate."

Janice smirked. "When did you get so bossy?"

"If I recall correctly, it was the moment that you collapsed on my tiled floor. Now eat!" Mel's eyes flashed mild annoyance as she pointed at the plate infront of Janice.

"Yes, Ma'am." Janice was not about to defy her friend's orders. She had never had breakfast in bed before. She could get used to this. "I'm sorry about...this. I must have given you quite a scare."

"Well...I expected you to do a lot of things when you got here. Fainting wasn't exactly what I had in mind." Mel smiled. "But at least I get to take care of you for a change."

"I'm telling you right now Mel, I'm not planning on staying in bed much longer." She took a sip of her orange juice and continued. "I can't stay like this...that's not my nature. Beside, we've got work to do. We have to finish translating the scrolls we found."

"Hey listen, I can handle that on my own. I'm the ancient syntax expert remember. Just try to relax. Why is it so hard for you to be just a little...helpless?"

Janice stopped chewing and looked up. Mel hit the nail right on the head. She hated being this helpless. She hated people taking care of her. She had been taking care of herself since she was a child. After her mother left, her father was forced to take his little girl on expeditions. But most of the time, he was off supervising the dig leaving little time to spend looking after little Janice. She had learned at a very early age that she could count no one but herself. "Because I just don't like it okay." The words came out a little more harsh than Janice wanted them to. Her plate was now totally empty. I guess I was hungry after all. She picked up the cigar from the tray. " I could use that light now, sweetheart."
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Mel knew she had definitely hit a nerve with Janice. In the past few months, Janice became a friend...her best friend in fact. She had never met anyone like Janice before. She was definitely not the type of person she would ever meet around here. It took her a while a get used to Janice's rough nature, not to mention her completely unlady-like vocabulary, but Mel knew underneath all this was someone whom she could always trust...even with her life. Growing up, Mel had a hard time making friends. She never knew if they liked her for who she was or because she came from the "right" family. With Janice, she knew her family stasis was inconsequential. Well, that was not entirely true. Janice had called her a spoiled brat on more than one occasion, but more often than not it was meant as a term of endearment rather than a hurtful put-down. The vast difference in their upbringings made their friendship that much more amazing. Although Janice didn't like to part with information about her past, Mel knew her mother left when Janice was still young. Her father was forced to take his young daughter from dig-site to dig-site. She had seen more things first hand by the time she was ten than Mel had in her entire lifetime. With conditions like these, it didn't surprise Mel that she had built walls around herself for protection.

Mel's childhood, on the other hand, was far less eventful. Her parents were prominent social figures in South Carolina. Her father was a Nobel prize-winning scientist and her mother was a full-time socialite from one of the wealthiest families in the South. As the only child of this coupling, Mel saw little of the world outside the walls of her South Carolina mansion. Her parents wanted to protect her from the world, but instead, they left her lacking in skill she needed to face it. All the knowledge she had accumulated was from books rather than actual experience. Her mother died when she was twelve, and then her father became the center of her universe until his death a year ago, but this was her time. She was finally beginning to live her own life without the shadow of her father's work or her mother's social stasis haunting her. Since she was a little girl, Mel had always craved excitement and adventure, and she had found it with Janice. Despite all their differences, it seemed they were connected on a much deeper level. A connection Mel was only truly beginning to understand.

Chapter Three: Another Time, Another Place

Janice finally made a decision. It was now or never. She had to do it. There was no turning back. Janice took in a deep breath and pushed the delicate covers over to one side of the bed. Her strong tanned legs swung around to the floor, she breathed in one more time, planted her feet firmly on the carpet and got up. She was knocked back by the sudden feeling of dizziness. Steadying herself with the bedpost, she tried to stand up straight again. Her legs responded this time, and she started to move toward the door. She caught sight of herself in a full-length mirror across the room. She looked rather odd in a long nightgown...she felt rather odd in one too. Janice walked toward the dresser on the other side of the room. Her clothes had to be here somewhere. She opened the top draw only to find assorted nightgowns and underwear. She quickly closed the drawer and looked around the room again. She made her way toward the closet door and with a slight creek, opened it. Hanging on the door were her pants and shirt. She quickly made her way out of the silk and slipped on the khaki. She looked herself in the mirror again. That's more like it. Her strawberry-blonde hair was in her face and her cheeks were pale, but she looked more like herself. She was still missing her boots and jacket...well, I guess I'll have to find them later.

Pushing her hair behind her ear, Janice slowly opened the heavy, engraved door. The elegantly wallpapered corridor was decorated with vases, paintings and faded family photographs in bronze picture frames. She walked along the hallway looking at everything, but afraid to touch anything. The corridor led to a long staircase. This had to be the biggest house Janice had ever stepped foot in. She carefully made her way down the stairs. The house seemed eerily silent except for the faint sounds of birds chirping outside and the ticking of a clock. As she reached the final step, she could see the front door before her. To her left was a large living room complete with a baby grand piano in the far corner and three large picture windows. Janice turned to her left and saw a heavy wooden door slightly opened. She poked her head inside of the room and found what looked like a study. A large oak desk sat in the middle of the room and a map of Macedonia hung over a leather couch. The room contained three walls stacked from floor to ceiling with books. Janice gently fingered some of the spines of the books near the door: The Study of Ancient Greek Religion, The Topography of Ancient Greece, Minoan and Mycenean Oral Culture, Ancient Languages and The Oral Tradition by Melvin Pappas III. This family is well read, she thought to herself. She picked up Professor Pappas' book and thumbed through the more than three-hundred page work. She had read it before, and she literally knew the book inside and out, however she stopped at the dedication at the beginning of the book which read: For My Daughter Melinda. She smiled at knowing how much Professor Pappas loved his daughter. "She is someone who anyone can love easily," she thought to herself. This thought quickly left her mind as she made her way over to the large desk. On top of some open volumes of books, Janice found a sheet of with Mel's handwriting. She wondered why Mel hadn't recorded this particular scroll translation wasn't entered in the proper scroll log. Picking it up, she began to read.
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It was cold, but she had to go on. She took a couple of more steps and collapsed in the snow. She was tired. Her muscles ached and her right leg was almost unmovable, but at least the bleeding had stop. She muttered, "sleep." Her strength was almost gone. She couldn't feel her feet anymore. She wasn't prepared for this kind of weather. Luckily, she had a few dinars to buy the coat she was wearing and the fur parchment for Xena before they entered the really cold weather, but her feet suffered from the cold wetness of the snow and wind. Argo slowly walked past her dragging Xena's body behind her. Argo seemed to be holding up fairly well, but she knew the horse could use some rest. She could use some rest as well...a long, nice nap, but she knew she had to move on in a few moments. Her friend's life hung in the balance. She needed to get Xena to someone...anyone who could help. Xena had whispered that she needed to be taken to Mount Nestus, and she was not about to fail. She crawled over to her. She was barely breathing and her eyes were still closed. She gently touched her face. "You're getting worse." She watched Xena for a moment. She seemed to be in the midst of some dream. She had never seen Xena this helpless before. She pushed some hair away from her face. How could I have ever walked away from you, she thought to herself. She had walked away from her to become Perdicus's wife. When he died, she cried for losing apart of her past and a possible future, but she knew she wasn't in love with him...at least not in the way she wanted. She didn't need him. She needed Xena. But now something greater was threatening to separate them...death. She placed Xena's limp hand in hers and brought it to her lips. She kissed the palm of her hand and placed it again underneath the fur parchment. "I'm not going to lose you again," she whispered. "I need you, Xena. And I'm not going to ever let you go. If I have to walk to the ends of this world and back, I will. Please don't leave me." She leaned forward and kissed her cheek. She was taken aback by how cold it was. "I love you." She rose to her feet and tired to ignore the pain in her right leg. She needed to more forward. It would be dark soon.
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Written a familiar black ink was a note in the margin next to the last line: scroll is unlike others. "That was a masterpiece of understatement," Janice thought to herself. Looking around on the desk for anything else she could find about the nature of this scroll, she felt a hand on her shoulder and quickly turned around. A none-to-happy southern beauty with piercing blue eyes was standing besides her looking at the paper in her hand.

With hands on her hips looking like she was about to scold a small child, Mel said, "I should have known I would find you here. Why can't you just stay in bed like the doctor told you to?"

"What can I say. I'm no good at following orders." Janice couldn't help but notice Mel's constantly shifting between her eyes and the paper in her hand. "So...when were you going to let me see this?"

"Well...if you must know. It was going to be the grand finale of the tour of my house" Mel reached out and tried to grab the sheet of paper, but Janice backed away and looked down at the paper again. "When I knew you were feeling better."

"Mel, I told you. I'm fine and I don't plan on getting sick anytime soon. Stop trying to mother me. I know when I'm ready to do things."

"I wasn't trying to mother...I was only looking out for your health seeing as you never do. I care about...what happens to you." She swallowed. "Isn't that what partners are suppose to do...look out for each other, I mean."

"Yeah, but I'm fine. Look, see I got dressed and down here all by myself." Janice turned her attention to the piece of paper in her hand. "So..."

Mel looked over the smaller woman's shoulder. "Looks like we have to reexamine a few things about Xena and Gabrielle's relationship."

Turning around, Janice moved closer to Mel. "Looks like it." She handed the paper over to Mel. Mel silently re-read what she wrote. Janice loved to watch her friend work. She smiled to herself. Maybe you just like to watch her period. It had not been lost on Janice that she was partners with a very beautiful woman. But most of the time, she saw her as just Mel, her friend. At times like these, however, she found herself staring at her face and her eyes. Mel's black hair cascade over her face and shoulders. She brushed some of it over her ear. Janice couldn't help but stare. Mel looked up at Janice taking off her glasses and putting them in her mouth questioningly. Ice blue eyes stared back...she could be lost in those pools of blue...forever. No! She shook that thought off. This is your friend we are talking about...she would never see you as anything more than...well, a friend. But she was finding harder to shake off these thoughts. They seemed to be occurring with increasing frequency. Janice hated when her mind wandered. "So why do you think this scroll is different than the other...aside from content?"

"Well, if you look at the original scroll." Mel made her away around the desk and took a key from her pocket. She slipped her glasses back on and unlocked the bottom draw. Mel fumbled with a large safety deposit box. "It seems to be different than the rest of the scrolls, I've examined." Mel brought out two piece of parchment from the box. "I'm no archeologist, but I think it's plain as day that this one is different from the others. And the content of the scrolls only adds to my suspicion."

The scroll containing the story Janice had just read was smaller than the rest of the scrolls they had found on previous digs, more compact in size, but the patterns of handwriting looked the same. They seemed to be made from the same material and written by the same person, but it was clear that this scroll was not like the rest. Janice gently fingered the smaller scroll. "So what's your opinion on this, Mel?"

"Well, best as I can figure I think that we have stumbled onto some kind of journal. The writing of this one seems to be more...raw than the others I've read."

"Raw? What do you mean?" Janice now sat on the edge of the desk.

"The others seem to be more poetic and story orientated. Like someone writing a story to entertain as well as to convey information. This one seems to be more emotional than the others. And the content speaks for itself."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Janice nodded at her friend's assessment of this scroll. "So it looks like Gabrielle loved Xena..." She stopped mid-sentence. She saw blue eyes staring back at her.

Mel completed Janice's sentence, "but Xena didn't know it."

Chapter Four: Home is Where the Heart Is

"nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your fragility: whose texture
compel me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing"
-e.e. cummings

"I thought you would be just a bit more surprised than this. Dr. Covington, you're just full of surprises this week."

"I'd like to think that I'm full of surprises every week." She smiled at her own joke and shifted back to serious mode. "I don't know...it seems right...somehow."

"Sounds to me like you are a romantic underneath it all."

"No, sweetheart. Let's just call it instinct." But even Janice didn't really know where this feeling was coming from, but it did seem right. And she got the feeling that Gabrielle wasn't the only who was in love. Somehow, she knew that the feeling was mutual. At that moment, she felt a flash of sadness...she was losing something...she wanted to reach out and grab it, but it was moving away. She shook off the feeling. "Besides, there isn't a romantic bone in this body. I don't have time for that stuff." Janice rubbed her eyes. She suddenly felt tired. Her body ached. Rubbing the back of her neck, she was becoming aware that Mel was looking at her with concern on her face. "I'm fine. Just a little stiff from all that sleeping." Janice moved off the desk and began to stretch. "So if this scroll is part of a journal..."

"Then there must be more out there." Mel looked questioning at the scroll on the desk. "I wonder how this one wound up in the batch we found."

Janice walked toward the window on the opposite side of the room. The crystal clear blue sky added to the surreal backdrop to her surroundings. The sun's rays played between the green leaves of two tall oak trees as the green grass seemed to go on forever. Janice wondered if Mel actually owned the whole estate. "Are you ready?"

Mel walked over to the smaller woman facing the window. "Ready for what?"

"Aren't you going to take me on a tour of this place? I don't want to get lost next time I decide to venture out."

"Maybe you should take a nap before..."

"No! I've seen way too much of that bed for a few days thank you every much. Besides, I got most of my strength back." Mel began to lead the way when Janice looked down at her feet. "Just one more thing...where the hell are my boots?"
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Her mouth was hanging wide open as she just looked around the master bedroom. The walls were decorated with assorted paintings of long-dead Pappas kin as three large windows overlooked the entire plush-green estate. Mel mentioned there were 10 bedrooms. How can anyone live like this? Janice was raised by the code, only the bare essentials. This came in handy moving from dig-site to dig-site. You should be able to carry everything you need on your back. To her, the idea of servants and nicely decorated rooms was foreign. Janice couldn't feel comfortable living like this. She felt oddly out of place in her old boots, khaki pants and cotton shirt. She moved through the house as if walking through a museum. Everything looked nice and was well cared for. It was all just too refined. I guess explains a lot about Mel, Janice thought to herself. Mel seemed proud of her home.

Melinda closed the door behind her as she lead Janice back down the stairs. She was well aware of her companion's awe-struck expression throughout most of the rooms of the house, but she had yet to show her favorite place of her home, the couple of hundred acres she called her backyard. Melinda was aware of her estates' history as one of the top cotton producing plantation in the South, but now that dark period of her family's past was disdainfully looked down upon rather than honored. The rolling green hills and flowerbeds were a testament to how time has the ability to make an ugly place beautiful again. Mel remembered being sat down at a young age and told of her family's history. Her father always preached a philosophy of love and acceptance. It was a philosophy Melinda followed everyday of her life.

Janice intently listened as Mel described the estates' history, and how her great-great grandfather gave each of his slave families a hundred acres of land to farm as a reward for their loyal service. Janice found herself wanting to absorb all the information she could as if every story brought her closer to locking the mystery of Mel's thought process. "So that room you stuck me in...that's your bedroom right."

"It used to be." Mel walked slowly ahead of Janice. Janice couldn't help but notice how Mel's curves were accentuated by the cut of her flowered dress. "My mama decorated it-before...before she died so we kept it exactly the same. No one has used that room in ten years."

"Should consider myself special then," Janice said with a sarcastic edge. She mentally kicked herself as the statement left her lips. Think before you speak, Covington. "Sorry I didn't mean..."

Mel just continued to walk. "I guess I wouldn't expect you to understanding seeing as you never had a real home and all."

"I've traveled to much to call any place home. I couldn't see myself living like this." She made a sweeping motion with her arm. "I've never thought about home as a certain place, but more like a state of mind. With the right person, home could be anywhere." Janice felt this odd, warm feeling sweep through her body, and she found she couldn't maintain eye contact with Mel. "Just my dumb theory." She shrugged and continued to walk.

"So have you ever come close to finding the right person?" Mel's voice lowered as she asked the question. Mel didn't know why she asked the question, but she seemed to hold her breath awaiting the answer.

Janice stopped walking. "No...I haven't really. At least not yet, but they're out there somewhere." Janice looked deeply into Mel's eyes. She suddenly lowered her eyes when she realized she had been silent for a few seconds. "Or maybe there isn't a person on this Earth who can put up with me."

Mel stopped at a set of double doors. The handles were brass and matched the patterns of all the other door handles in the house. Mel thought she had seen something in Janice's eyes before. She couldn't explain it, but it was as if they didn't need to say anything to each other. There was recognition and an understanding that went beyond words. "Now I want to show you my favorite place where I spent most of my childhood." She opened the doors and a warm, humid breeze entered the house. Mel's sundress drifted in the breeze. "I love my backyard. I used to love to play around in it when I was young."

Janice looked around as blue sky met green grass. "I bet you couldn't get dirty right"

"Actually I was a real tomboy when I was young. My mother thought I would never grow out of it. She died before I could grow out of it." She looked away from Janice's eyes. "Apart of me will always be a tomboy. I guess that's why I love adventure....why I love being with you."

Janice couldn't help but let a small smile escape her lips. "I didn't realize that I was such good company."

"You are..sometimes." Mel laughed. "When you aren't biting my head off for something I did...by accident."

Janice shot a glance at Mel who continued to stare at the line of tall trees in the distance. "I'm sorry about that. It's just that I have to get used to being partners with you. I've never had anyone who really cares about me...the way you do." Janice cursed herself for letting what she was thinking escape her lips. "I know I can be insensitive...I don't mean it. Frankly, I don't know why you stick around..how you put up with my bullsh...my moods."

Impulsively, Mel grabbed Janice's hand and rubbed her thumb against hers. "Because we are friends and friends stick by each other no matter what."

Janice looked down at her hand, her fingers happily intertwined. Mel's eyes were filled with warmth and love that Janice quickly looked off in the distance. She closed her eyes and realized for the first time what the sensation of Mel's touch did to her. Warmth filled her body, and suddenly images began to fill her mind. She wanted to wrap her arms around Mel's neck and touch her lips with hers. Lips intermingling and words hardly escaping each other's mouths. Her hands slowly were moving down to the small of her back bringing Mel closer to her. She wanted to explore Mel's body with her fingertips...slowly discovering what would make her scream out in ecstasy. She wanted to lay down with her...their bodies gradually becoming one...wrapped together in each other's arms. She broke free from Mel's hand. She couldn't have these thoughts running through her mind anymore.

Janice tried to back away, but Mel put a hand on her cheek. "What's wrong Janice? Are you feeling okay?" Mel's eyes were now filled with genuine concern. "You look a little flush."

Janice gently brushed Mel's hands away from her face. "I think I'll take that nap now." She walked back into the house.

Chapter Five: Ghosts from the Past

"your slightest look will unclose me
though I have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself
as Spring opens"
(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her rose"
-e.e. cummings

Janice lay on the soft, large bed, but sleep refused to take her. She didn't want to close her eyes. Mel's image would be there. Instead she stared up at the high, carved ceilings and thinking about what just happened downstairs. The feelings of strong desire threatened to overwhelm her. She cursed herself for what she was thinking of doing to her...best friend, but the more she tired to get her mind away from Mel, the more it seemed to drift back to her. She wanted to get lost in those blue eyes and she never wanted to be found. Mel could never think of you in that way so stop thinking about it.

Her lips wrapped themselves around a small cigar before she realized her lighter was in her coat pocket. After an exhaustive five-minute search in the closet, her hands reached into her brown and worn leather bomber jacket, and found her silver pocket lighter. Lighting her cigar, she mind slowly turned and analyzed the feelings coursing through her body. This was crazy. She had always found women much more attractive than men; she had even had an occasional one-night stand with a beautiful woman, however, she had never felt this particular sensation. Janice smiled at the memory of feeling Mel's soft skin next to hers. But was that all this was...simple desire. No! It went deeper than that. Thinking back to the memories of the past few months, Janice couldn't help but notice that her world had turned completely upside down the moment Melinda stepped into her life. And she had to admit, she liked this new life arrangement. For the first time in a long time, she had someone to take care of and to look after. But these feelings went well beyond friendship. She wanted to know what Mel was thinking, how she was feeling, she wanted to apart of her. The desire to make Mel happy superseded her own happiness. She felt like Mel was the better half of her. She wanted Mel to be with her always. Janice puffed out smoke and watched it drift to the ceiling. I can't be in love with her. I can't. But that word would always pop into her head when she thought of the feelings she had for Mel.

Janice had never loved anyone...except her father, but she didn't really know that until after he died. For a long time, she resented her father for choosing the scrolls over family. She blamed him for driving her mother away, but only when she understood the intense passion that fueled his search did she accept the choices he had made in his life. Fate had been cruel. Just when Janice and her father were beginning to understand each other and bury the past completely, Harry Covington began to grow weaker from what he thought was the stomach flu. It turned out to be cancer. Janice watched as the strongest man she knew became someone who couldn't even sit up without help. But he never stopped searching for those scrolls. Harry Covington died at a dig-site on a cot with Janice holding his hand. She had promised her father that she would not rest until the scrolls were found. And here she was, two years later, on edge of realizing his dream and clearing his reputation and what was she doing...thinking about a woman she could never have. Janice grumbled to herself. Love's nothing but trouble...you've got to stay focused Janice. You are almost there...don't screw this up! She needed to clear her head of Melinda Pappas. It was easier said than done.
===========================
Mel had wondered what she had done wrong. It was not like Janice to run off in such a hurry. Mel wanted to run after Janice to find out what was bothering her, but she knew Janice would probably tell her she needed to be alone or something. Mel walked around the grounds of her estate. She often did this when she needed to think. She looked at the palm of her hand. She smiled at the memory of Janice's hands in hers. It was something that felt right to her. Mel couldn't explain it, but when Janice was around, she felt protected and safe. She felt stronger. She didn't like the way Janice just pulled away whenever things got too close. Just when Mel thought she had scaled all of Janice's walls, she put up another barrier. What was Janice so afraid of? Mel knew that there was nothing Janice could ever say or do that would destroy their friendship. Why doesn't she just let me in? She looked at her hand again. There was something missing. Suddenly, Mel wanted to run to Janice. She needed her. The feeling departed just as soon as it occurred, but the sudden rush of emotion was enough to make Mel catch her breath. She shook the feeling off and continued to walk on.
===========================
Growing tired of watching the ceiling, Janice watched the nature light show out of the bedroom window. The South Carolina sky provided an intensely beautiful and brilliant sun set as bright orange was slowly swallowed up by gray. She needed something to keep her mind occupied...away from the southern beauty downstairs. She breathed in the moist air and waited for the sun to disappear below the horizon. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Yeah?"

Mel entered the room cautiously. "I was just...I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Janice continued to look out of the window. She didn't want to turn around for the fear that her eyes would reveal something she didn't want to express. If she knew what I thought about doing to her...what I want to do. "I'm fine."

Mel leaned on the closed door for a couple of seconds before making her way further into her former bedroom. "It's just that you ran off in such a hurry. I thought something might really be wrong."

"No, I just needed some rest that's all. I told you to stop worrying. Okay?" Janice waited for an answer, but none came. She hesitantly turned around and found Mel sitting on the bed. She was looking down at a picture frame. "Mel?"

"Sorry, but...I was just looking at this."

Janice moved toward the bed. Mel handed her the large silver frame. Janice saw a little girl wrapped in the arms of a beautiful woman. "This is you and your mother. How old are you?"

"I was about five. It's one of my favorite pictures of her. I forgot it was in this room."

"She was beautiful. Runs in the family I guess." She handed the frame back to Mel who looked at it again before placing back on the dresser where she found it. Janice wanted to reach out to the taller woman and comfort her, but she didn't move. She just watched. "When did she..." Janice took a breath. "when did you lose her?"

"I was twelve. It happened quickly. She was only sick for a few days and then she was gone." Mel adjusted her glasses. "But I still had Daddy. He was my support and I was his. We had each other. Well, at least they are together now." Mel rose from the bed. "She had so many dreams for me, but I decided to choose another path. Sometimes I wonder if she is proud of me or maybe I'm disappointing her. Sorry...I just...I don't deal well with loss."

"Yeah. I know." Janice's mind flashed to the last time she saw her father. He was slipping away and they both knew it. He squeezed her hand and ceased his fight for his life. "I don't think anyone deals well with it." Janice looked up into Mel's eyes and added, "I'm sure your mom is real proud how you turned out. You are the greatest person I know."

Mel smiled at Janice's rare soft-spokeness. "I can only hope mama sees things your way." The two women stood in silence for a moment.

Janice broke the intense silence and moved toward the door. She breathed in once and tired to suppress her feelings, but they were still lurking just beneath the surface. "Now is there any food in the place or do I have to be on my death bed to get something to eat."

"I guess you're feeling better." Mel let Janice lead the way downstairs.

Dinner was filled with conversations about the remaining scrolls that needed to be translated. Janice found that she could at least carry on a normal conversation without her mind drifting to certain thoughts. There was talk of the next expedition and what they might find at this dig-site. Janice was sure she had found the coordinates of the ancient village of Poteidaia. Janice knew there were other scrolls to be found, and the birthplace of Gabrielle seemed to logical place to look for them. The problem was money. The funding was almost gone from their last dig, and to undertake a massive project like unearthing an entire village would require much more than what was available. Janice hated having to beg suits at universities for grants, but now that she had proof that the scrolls actual existed, she believed these suits would be much easily persuaded. There was talk of when they would leave and how long they planned to stay in Greece. Janice noticed Mel's blue eyes light up at the prospect of having another new adventure. "Mel, are you sure you can handle another sixth months at a dig-site."

"Dr. Covington, I can take care of myself. I survived at a dig-site before. I'm sitting here you know."

"I know, but it's just that I don't like...this dig could be dangerous. Conditions in Europe are not getting any better you know. Maybe you should just stay here and I'll send the scrolls..."

Mel cut off her words. "We are partners remember. Wherever you go, I go right? I'm going and there is nothing you can do to make me want to stay here. Besides, someone has to watch out for you over there."

"And you're the person to do that, huh?" Janice breathed. "Well, partner...looks like you've got some money to raise to fund our next adventure."

Janice heard bells chime in the distance. Mel looked toward the dinner room door and excused herself. "What the hell was that?"

"The doorbell," Mel said as she exited the room.

Janice wiped her mouth and looked down at her empty plate. "Hey, Mel wait." She got up from the table and followed Mel down the corridor which lead to the main entrance.

Mel stopped a servant who was about to open the door. "No, that's okay. I've got it."

Janice leaned on the staircase banister. After all, there was no way this visitor was here to see her. Mel slowly opened the door and stopped before she could get it open all the way. Her face stood expressionless and she muttered "oh my." Janice was about to move toward the open door sensing that Mel was in trouble, but instead she saw Mel jump forward and a muffled laugh rise from her throat. A tall, dark haired man entered the doorway with Mel clinging to his neck. Mel broke away from him. "What are you doing...when did you get...it's so good to see you again." She hugged him again. Janice then noticed a dozen white roses in his left hand.

The tall man spoke with a slight southern accent. "If I knew I would have gotten this response, I would have come earlier." He looked into her eyes and spoke softly, "you're looking well. Still as beautiful as ever." He took her hand and squeezed it. He shook his head as if suddenly remembering something. "These are for you." He handed her the white roses and smiled. "Welcome home, Melinda."