Four Days in April
by Del_kaidin
Day 3
April 12, 1912
8:00AM
Catherine emerged from her chamber haggard and worn. She had not slept well, true she
hadn't slept well for a month but this was the worst. She had slept, but it had been filled
with nightmares that she could not now remember. She was about to call for Erin when
she saw the small maid asleep on a chair, scattered at her feet were books. Deciding to let
her sleep Catherine quietly took a blanket from the closet and covered the sleeping girl.
Catherine returned to her chamber, dressed and left the cabin. In the early morning chill
she made her way to the fantail. For a long time she stood staring out toward England, not
even a speck of land could be seen yet her heart felt the island nation as if it were before
her. 'So easy', she thought. 'So very easy to climb over this rail and leap to my death. I
have nothing to live for.' Grasping the rail with her hand she raised her foot to the first
rung of the railing. As she was pulling herself up to take the next step an arm snaked
around her waist pulling her down and away from the rail. Furious she turned to confront
whoever had stopped her, but a familiar face with tousled blond hair smiled at her.
"Now miss" Less said wagging his finger at her "That was definitely not a healthy thing to
do. Good thing I happened to be out and about early today. Besides, jumping overboard
would not have helped anything. And it sure wouldn't solve any problem you may have.
Come on... let's get you a cup of coffee or tea and some food in you and you can tell Les
here all your troubles."
Catherine's anger disappeared as quickly as it had come. The feeling she could trust this
man once again came over her and she nodded. He led her to the near deserted second
class dining room and sat down with her.
A mischievous smile lit his face "A step up for me, a step down for thee, no one knows
who we be." At Catherine groan at the bad joke he laughed. "Well we all can't be
Shakespeare." Smiling he turned his head and motioned for the waiter.
Over breakfast, Les was able to get Catherine to open up to him. He listened as she told
him everything, Brian, their love, his death, their child. She kept waiting for his easy smile
to be replaced with shock and disapproval, but it never came. When she finished he put a
hand on her shoulder.
"I think I understand the why, but I can't understand choosing death over life. If you died
then you would never see that little boy again. At least alive there is hope."
********************
10:00 AM
Erin had been awake for an hour, she had cleaned the room, and dusted three times. Still
she mentally chastised herself for obviously being asleep when Catherine left. 'Your her
maid. How could you not wake up and do your duty. If you don't start paying more
attention you'll be returning to Ireland on this ships return in steerage.' Her mothers voice
in her head said. 'Daydreaming. Making up silly little stories. When will you learn.
Duties come first.' Taking a last look to make sure everything in the room was cleaned
and put away she picked up one of the books she had been reading the night before.
Catherine entering the suite interrupted her reading, putting the book down and stood to
face her employers displeasure. "Miss Grey I'm terribly sorry. I have no excuse for not
being awake and ready to assist you when you awoke this morning." Head down looking
at the floor Erin waited to be told she was to spend the rest of the crossing in steerage and
return passage would be purchased for her.
"It's all right Erin. You were obviously tired and sleeping so peacefully I didn't have the
heart to wake you. It's forgotten. Now let's get me dressed for lunch. I'm to meet Mrs.
Brown and that Mr. Light in the dining room at 12."
"Which dress would you like to wear?"
"The blue I think."
"Sit I know just how to fix your hair for that one."
*************
12:00PM
"Molly I think she stood me up again." Matthew Light was unsure of this luncheon. He
thought Miss Grey had made it quite clear she didn't want anything to do with him last
night, but Molly had insisted.
"Oh she'll be her Matt. Saw her comin' up from second class earlier and told her I wasn't
taken no for an answer... There she is."
Matthew turned towards the door. Catherine Grey stood dressed in a blue dress with
black trim, her hair down except for a small section pulled back from her face leaving a
soft bang highlighting her deep blue eyes. "She's beautiful."
"Yep she's a looker all right."
Matthew had realized he had spoken aloud until Molly answered. As Catherine neared the
table he rose and pulled her chair back for her.
"Thank you. I'm sorry about last evening. I think it was most likely the excitement of
being underway that was upsetting me." Catherine smiled. Long ago she had been taught
to hide her feelings deep.
"Quite all right my dear. Got me down too. Now I know I didn't give you two a proper
introduction yesterday before hoisting you two on each other. Catherine Grey this is
Matthew Light. Now that's done Matt flag down won of those waiters. I'm starving."
Lunch was filled with laughter and talk yet Matthew sensed something was hidden just
beneath Catherine's bright eyes and smile. Something sad and private.
*****************
6:00PM
Catherine sat patiently waiting for Erin to finish her hair. The girl was obviously still
feeling bad about this morning for she had tried three different styles and was working on
the fourth. The cabin was immaculately clean and her dress for the evening pressed and
laying on the bed. Finally the girl put the curling rod down and stepped back.
"You know it's a shame you have to wear your hair up at night. You looked so pretty this
afternoon with it just brushed and pulled back. But I think this will have to do." Erin
rambled. "I hope you don't mind the copper dress but I thought it would bring out your
coloring and eyes. Not to mention show off that beautiful necklace."
Erin had outdone herself. While her hair was up, as fashion dictated, she had managed to
make it appear as if her hair was down. Soft tendrils curled at her temples and neck. A
sad smile crossed her face as she thought how Brian would have liked her hair this way.
"Oh Catherine why do you always look so sad? I thought what ever it was you were over
it this morning."
"Erin... the sadness is a part of me. Something I can never get rid of. I can't explain it. I
just know that as long as I live a piece of me will never be whole again."
"You know I once heard a story. Once upon a time folks had four legs, four arms, two
hearts and one soul. Then they were separated so we look like we do now. And we
spend all of our lives looking for the other half of us." She said lifting the dress over
Catherine's head. "I guess it sounds silly."
"No actually it sounds wonderful. I only wish I could believe it."
"You will, you will."
*************
11:00PM
Catherine couldn't sleep. The air seemed to be suffocating her. Then she heard Erin
scream. Running to the maids room she found the girl sitting up in bed crying, her arms
outstretched and screaming.
"NO!!! Xena!!! Please don't leave me."
Gathering the girl into her arms she murmured to her softly trying to calm her shaking.
Peace filled her as she rocked Erin. She had done this before, somewhere, somewhen.
Day 4 Or Back to the Library
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