HOW TO BATHE THE CAT

 1. Thoroughly clean toilet.

 2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.

 3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.

 4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on
    top, so cat cannot escape.

 5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds. (Ignore ruckus from
    inside toilet, cat is enjoying this).

 6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite
    effective.

 7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible
    and quickly lift both lids.

 8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will
    air dry.

 Yours sincerely, 
 The Dog