Closed Captioning capture by: shadowy_agents@oocities.com
Names by: Cynia (cynia@hotmail.com)

Pop culture is getting pretty dark. It's not my fault they're not living well.
If they want to dance on the edge, I'll give them that edge.

Nikki: Lock the door. How do you lock it?
Baruk: You need a key.
Nikki: Well, give me the keys. Look, I know you don't know me, but there are these
           guys after me, so please just lock the door. They're going to be here any
           second, all right? And if they find me, they'll kill me. Hello. They'll kill
           you, too, all right? Do you know what a witness is? Well, they won't want any.
           Oh, oh, god, are you understanding any of this? Thank you. Mother of a gun you
           got here.
Baruk: This is a bad neighbourhood.
Nikki: Well, let's not make it any worse. Just open the safe and I'll leave. Look, I
           don't want to saw your head off, all right? I will, but I don't want to. So
           let's go. What's your name?
Baruk: Baruk.
Nikki: Baruk. Where are you from, Baruk?
Baruk: Afghanistan.
Nikki: Yeah? What did you do there, make rugs or something?
Baruk: Mujaheddin.
Nikki: Huh?
Baruk: Freedom fighter.
Nikki: Stand up.
[ gunshot ]
[ machine gunfire ]
Nikki: 50 bucks, Baruk. I'll settle for 50. You hear that, Baruk? That was your
          Swishy machine. You see, I got this party to go to. But it costs 50 bucks. I
         don't think that's too much to ask. Huh? So I need that 50 bucks, Baruk, or I
         have to kill you. [ siren wailing ] Those boys got their response time down.
        Uh-ha, ha. Hey, guys. Anybody got 50 bucks?
Police officer: On your knees.
Director: Hello, Nikki. I thought it might be you.

Action!
 

Mac: Know what the mistake was? Shooters were the mistake.
Victor: The mistake was the mosh pit.
Li Ann: The mistake was going to a party thrown by the guys in forensic pathology.
Mac: They do seem to have a very, very clear sense of just how much the human body
        can stand.
Victor: That would explain the punch.
Li Ann: I didn't, you know, do anything that I should be ashamed of?
Victor: We ran out of limes. You shot the waiter.
Li Ann: That's justifiable homicide.
Mac: Then there was your famous impersonation of the Director.
Li Ann: Uh, I did my Director? At the office party?
Mac: Right in front of her.
Victor: She was cool, though. I think she actually thought it was very funny.
Li Ann: She doesn't find anything funny.
[ slamming ]
Director: Oh. Good morning, party people. Hello, Li Ann.
Li Ann: I understand that I made fun of you last night. I'm sorry.
Director: Oh, not at all. It was very amusing, actually, really. Do I really undo my
               blouse that far?
Mac: Only on good days.
Director: Ah, you do notice, after all. So, today's theme is--
Mac: Why is there always a theme?
Director: Youth, specifically, lost youth. Well, actually, part one is very sad. Three
               locals all drowned in the last two months, each victim 18 to 20 years old,
               each one in the water for 12 hours. Local police have nothing. Oh, yes, and
               all three bodies washed up in three separate continents.
Li Ann: What's part two?
Director: Everybody, meet Nikki. As you can see, she's been a very bad girl.
Nikki: I crave discipline.
Director: Yes, I know you do. And that's what we do best of all. So Nikki is going to
               help you with your investigation.
Victor: She's an amateur.
Director: Oh, Nikki is many things, but hardly that, right?
Nikki: Right.
Director: However, she is going to need a crash course in agency procedure. So I think
              we'll put Mac on that, shall we? You share the same anarchic instincts. I
              think you'll get along just fine.
Mac: Oh.
Nikki: Oh, cheer up. I'll try not to be such a troubled youth, all right?
Victor: Good luck, sport. You're going to need it.
Director: So, you two start with the evidence file. And Mac will join you later with
               your cultural consultant. Oh, and, uh, Mac, don't actually kill her, all
               right? I once promised her mother I wouldn't get her killed.

Victor: So she knows the Director. Aren't you intrigued?
Li Ann: She must be a family friend or something.
Victor: Well, whatever it is, it's bound to be so weird.
Li Ann: You know what's weird?
Victor: What?
Li Ann: All my life, I've been the youngest person in the room. And now I'm the
            veteran training someone younger.
Victor: At least I'm going to age with dignity. You see Mac trying to act so cool with
at chick? Like, it's embarrassing.
Nikki: Tell me about it.
[ laughing ]
Mac: Guys, you would not believe how quickly this one is picking up.
Nikki: I don't believe what a good teacher Mac is. He's shown me everything.
Mac: No, not everything.
Victor: You'd need a magnifying glass for that.
Li Ann: So, Nikki, you know the Director.
Nikki: All my life. She's my mom's best friend. She was a Director too.
Victor: There's more than one Director?
Nikki: There's a whole whack of them. Did you guys think you were special?
Li Ann: You said your mom was a Director?
Nikki: Uh, yeah. She was killed five years ago. Aunt Di tried to step in and raise
           me, but it was a little late.
Victor: Di?
Li Ann: The Director's name is Diane?
Nikki: I don't think she has a name. She's the Di-rector, so I call her aunt Di.
Victor: Back to work. Evidence summaries of the latest victim's apartment. Clothing
           inventory, bank statements.
Nikki: Boring.
Victor: DNA analysis.
Mac: They got a CD collection.
Nikki: Hey, that's a little less boring. Oh, good collection. Man, this is the bomb.
Mac: The bomb, that means good.
Victor: Thank you very much for the hip lessons, there, daddy-o.
Nikki: Must have been a club kid. All he had was techno music.
Victor: Techno isn't music. Techno is like machine noise. Music needs melody, chords,
            lyrics. If it wasn't written by an old black guy in Mississippi, it ain't music.
Nikki: Well, this guy had it all. Euro, gabber, happy hardcore.
Mac: Good bands right there.
Nikki: Those aren't bands, ha, ha, they're styles.
Li Ann: So, what are you saying, Nikki?
Nikki: Uh, well, not that I'm into this detective stuff, but if he's got this at home
           he's going to clubs at night.
Victor: Of which there's hundreds.
Nikki: Well, only one hot one at a time. This month, it's the Hard House.

Mac: Yo, Cubby, open her up.
Nikki: Grab a new 'tude, Orville, they're with me, all right? Open up.
[ loud music playing ]
Nikki: Let's go to the cool room.
Girl #1: So, my friend and I have been checking you out.
Victor: What?
Girl #1: My friend and I have been checking you out.
Victor: Oh, yeah.
Girl #1: She says you're a narc, but I think you're just somebody's dad.
[ laughing ]
Victor: Oh, sorry about that.

Mac: Hey, hey, wait up.
Nikki: I don't want to go back to your place, ok? I don't even know you. Just leave
          me alone. Let go.
Bouncer: Why don't you let her go?
Mac: Why don't you bite me?
Li Ann: Victor!
Mac: Ugh, oh, watch the hair.
Victor: Boys.
Mac: What? You didn't bring me a beer?
Li Ann: She disappeared.
Guy: But you're staying right here.
[Li Ann knocks the guy out]
Mac: You know, she's really intimidating.
Victor: Tell me about it.
Li Ann: You want intimidating, wait till the Director learns you lost her girl.
 

[ punching ]
Nikki: Ow, ow, ow.

Director: Well, apart from forcing me out at 3:00 in the morning, at a very awkward
               personal moment, I might add, have you accomplished anything on this case?
Mac: A bunch of the ravers knew the dead kid.
Director: And now another one is missing. Jimmy Niccolini, 21. You better check his
              apartment, Li Ann.
Victor: What about me?
Director: Research -- track the tides, shipping lines -- look for a pattern to where the
              bodies washed up.
Victor: Where's Mac?
Director: He's paying the price for losing Nikki. He's washing Dobrinsky's cars.
Dobrinsky: And I got 24 of them. I'm a collector.
Nikki: Hey, homies, what's up?
Victor: What is she doing here?
Director: Our youthful ward is all yours, victor.
Victor: What? No, no, no way. I got like tides to track--
Director: If she tries to run again, shoot her.
Li Ann: You said we couldn't kill her.
Director: Well, you're professionals. Hit an arm or a leg.
Dobrinsky: My man, better you than me.

Guy: Jeez, man, it's not even noon.
Li Ann: Li Ann Tsei, Missing Persons Bureau. Can I come in?
Guy: That a true question?
Li Ann: Don't worry. This won't take long.
Guy: Don't rush on my account.
Li Ann: Your name is?
Guy: Jimmy Niccolini.
Li Ann: Are you from around here?
Guy: Ah, you picked up on it. Trace accent, Swiss boarding school. Trying to shake
        it. Don't want to sound like a euro-weenie.
Li Ann: You hang out at the Hard House.
Guy: Sure. You date younger guys?
Li Ann: I'm not that much older than you are. So, your parents are worried about you.
Guy: Younger guys have a lot more energy.
Li Ann: Worried enough to file a report. They said you were quiet and shy. Are you
            sure you're Jimmy Niccolini?
Guy: Uh, driver's licence, uh, ATM card... parental units -- good enough?
Li Ann: So, why did your parental units file a missing person's report?
Guy: My parents aren't exactly mom and pop Brady. They're walking wounded from the
        woodstock generation.
Li Ann: Hmm?
Guy: They probably forgot I moved out, so... do you want a beer?
Li Ann: No, thanks.
Guy: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait a minute. Little fishy, oh, oh, man.
Li Ann: Sorry to bother you.

Careena: Hi, Victor.
Victor: Hi, Careena.
Careena: I've got what you want.
Victor: Great. Start with the shipping chart.
CareenaI'm looking for the others.
Victor: Ok.
Nikki: Nah, she's not your type.
Victor: Yeah? Who is?
Nikki: Strippers, unwed mothers, any girl in trouble. It's the old wounded bird
          syndrome. I hacked into your file.
Victor: My file?
Nikki: Yeah. Then you got hooked on Li Ann. What's up with that?
Victor: Shh.
Careena: I'm back.
Victor: Hi.
Careena: These ones give you tidal information, and these have currents. I need them
               back by tomorrow, so I guess I'll be seeing you then.
Victor: Great, thanks. Yeah, work, work, work, work. Lots of homework. Ok, this is
            real nuts and bolts investigating. But, you know, I think, I think that you're
            really getting a taste for this. I mean, the way that you just sat there and
            did absolutely nothing... I think you're doing great, and I think we're really
            starting to connect here. Let's go.

Mac: Hey, Orville, open up.
Orville: No way.
Mac: Way, Orville.
Sam: Open the door, Orville.
Mac: You see, let's do this together. Come on, big step. Here we go. Good boy,
        Orville. Nice, Orville.
Sam: Please don't hurt the help, ok? I'm the one who has to pay their hospital plan.
Orville: I'm going to see that you get it someday, dude.
Mac: Don't bother, Orville. I get it every day.
Sam: I don't know who you are, but I'm going to make you an offer to show you my
        faith in you. Now, I can spot talent, and you've got that thang.
Mac: That thang.
Sam: Yeah, I want you to bounce for me.
Mac: How's that?
Sam: Yeah, be a bouncer, here. You could be the next big thing in the world of
        overenthusiastic security.
Mac:  You own this place.
Sam: Yeah, more or less, yeah. Sam, Sam Francisco.
Mac: Bet it's your real name, too, uh?
Sam: My parents never really liked me much.
Mac: Well, Sammy, you know, I might take you up on your offer. But I don't really
        think this is such a safe place to work.
Sam: How so?
Mac: Well, you got three kids dead, the oldest at 20.
Sam: [ sighing ]
Mac: Practically lived in your club.
Sam: I heard something about them missing, but I see a lot of kids here, and some
        of them are pretty out there, you know, hard cases.
Mac: In other words, you don't give a damn.
Sam: You know, pop culture is getting pretty dark, and it's not my fault if they're
        not living well, you know? If they want to dance on the edge, I'll give them
        that edge. You know, that's my job -- speaking of which, what's yours?
        Is that important?
Sam: I'm not seeing any badges here.
Mac: You know. You're right. Tell you what. I'm going to leave you alone. All
        right, Sammy? For now.
Sam: Put a tail on that guy. Yeah, I gotta speak to the Colonel

Colonel: Sam, you cute little S.O.B. how y'all doing?
Sam: We got trouble.
Colonel: Well, life is full of trouble. The fun is dealing with it.
Sam: There's this guy who's been asking about dead kids. He's not a cop, but he
        knows the kids are dead. He knows they've been at the club.
Colonel: Calm down, calm down. Did you put a tail on him like I would do?
Sam: Yes, I put a tail on him.
Colonel: Well, good, that's good. Now we'll go and calmly kill the peckerwood. I'll get
               one of the clients on it. [ speaking foreign language ]
Sam: [ speaking foreign language ] ...okey-dokey.
Colonel: There, now. You got any real problems the Colonel can deal with now?

Nikki: So you're a Cancer, huh?
Victor: Listen, when Mac gets out of the restaurant, you get in the back.
Nikki: Yes, sir. So, what's this music?
Victor: Delta blues. It's where the soul of man never dies.
Nikki: Mmm, 's fabulous.
Victor: Right. I know what you're doing.
Nikki: What?
Victor: Well, you think that if we have things in common, that I'll let my guard down
            and you can run. Well, no.
Nikki: I can't believe you just said that. Everyone's so freakin' suspicious of me.
          I like this music, all right? I got a thing for Dodge Rams, that's just me.
          Why don't you give me a break, already?
Victor: Here he comes. In the back. Get in the back. Go.
Women: [ speaking foreign language ]
Nikki: That's weird. Those chicks are speaking Russian or something.
Victor: Millions do.
Nikki: Yeah, but they're carrying identical bags. What's up with that?
Victor: Stay. Mac!
Mac: Damn! I wanted to eat that while it's still warm.
Victor: You'll be lucky to eat it while you're still warm.
[ gun clicking ]
Mac: Whoo!!
Victor: You got a refill?
Mac: No, you take care of that.
Victor: What? I was in a rush.
Mac: Oh!
Nikki: Victor!
[ gun clicking ]
Nikki: Whoo!
Victor: That'll work.
Mac: Ha, ha, ha, man, she saved our skins.
Victor: I misjudged her. She's really ok, man. She's smart, she's inventive.
Mac: And she's stealing your truck.
Victor: Noo!! no!
Mac: Man, now this is getting serious.
Victor: God! I'm such an idiot!
Nikki: By the way, Vic, your music sucks!
 

Director: Nikki, you are getting very tiresome. Congrulations, the care and feeding of
              the trainee is now your department.
Li Ann: Oh, no, why don't you just... I don't know, sell her to a pack of wolves, or something.
Director: Because I retain the perverse conviction that sooner or later Nikki is going
              to help us with this case. It's getting worse. The kid you talked to yesterday  is dead.
Li Ann: Jimmy Niccolini? Are you sure?
Director: Well, he certainly looked dead at his autopsy.
Li Ann: Where was the body found?
Director: Washed up on a beach in the Azores.
Li Ann: No way, I talked to him yesterday. He had no time to get there. Do you have
            any face shots?
Director: Oh, sorry, that's the stomach contents. Oh, which reminds me, my breakfast is
              here. Sushi, anyone? Ah, there we are. Well, not much left of the face, sea
              creatures being what they are.
Li Ann: That's not Jimmy.
Director: Oh, but it is. Dental records do not lie. So whoever you talked to at the
               apartment yesterday is obviously not Jimmy, although he claims to be.
Li Ann: Guess it's time for another visit.
Director: Take our friend here with you. Unless you want some breakfast.

Victor: Careena! You here? I need some more material.
Nathan: Can I help you?
Victor: No. Where's Careena?
Nathan: Uh, gone.
Victor: Gone? Where...gone where?
Nathan: Who knows? I'm just the new temp. I'm starting to notice there's something
             wrong with this place.
Victor: Tell me about it. Ok, look, um... all right, I need some information on ships
            that might have been in certain sea routes at certain times.
Nathan: You're a spy, aren't you?
Victor: Excuse me?
Nathan: I mean, they're all spies here. That's, that's what I think.
Victor: Loo-- I-I'm tracking some cargo ships.
Nathan: Bills of lading. A shipping manifest -- that's what you need to track cargo.
            What's this place?
Victor: I don't know. I wish I knew. I don't know.
Nathan: It's the Illuminati, isn't it?
Victor: What?
Nathan: The Illuminati.
Victor: Is that a...ship?
Nathan: Y-- no. The Illuminati, you know, the Royal family, Rockefellers, people who
            run everything. This is their headquarters.
Victor: Look, time is a-wastin' here, so if--
Nathan: You're right. I have some literature you should look at. Pamphlets,
            newsletters, stuff off the net. It's all there.
Victor: I need the stuff today, so...
Nathan: I'd have to get the pamphlets from home.
Victor: Home?
Nathan: I have my bike.

Nikki: Ta-da.
Li Ann: You never force a lock. It proves you've been there.
Nikki: Hey, I got it open, all right?
Li Ann: Only one pre-dial set. 4-9-5-2... [ beeping ] see if you learn the tone of
            each number, you can-- would you stop that?
Nikki: Make me.
Li Ann: Oh, no...
Nikki: Ahh. Come on, Mac told me what you guys used to get up to.
Li Ann: It's different now, and he had no right telling you anything.
Nikki: Man, you are so severe. Why don't you loosen up? Ever done tequila in a steam
           room?
Li Ann: This is a mission, ok? Things are at stake. Now, we have to trace this number.
Nikki: Why? Nothing matters. It's all a big joke. Don't you get it? Just enjoy the
           ride, 'cause you never know when it's gonna be over.
Li Ann: Yours could be over very soon.
Nikki: Or yours.

Nathan: I have the information you wanted.
Victor: Ah.
Nathan: But you can't have it. Not unless you take me with you.
Victor: You...are demented.
Nathan: I've been watching you. Your style, your bearing -- you are no dupe. You're
            part of the ruling elite, controlling us.
Victor: Give me the disks.
Nathan: I want to come with you and ride in black helicopters. I want to know when
            you're heating the ionosphere. I want to go to secret European conferences.
Victor: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Nathan: Then I guess I didn't find the information you were looking for.
Victor: Listen to me. You are right. This place...is a centre for world power.
Nathan: I knew it. Oh, I'm sorry.
Victor: You were hand picked for a reason.
Nathan: I was?
Victor: Yeah, we've been, oh, we've been watching you. Oh-ho, testing you. You passed. You're in.
Nathan: I am?
Victor: Mm-hm, be at the corner of Cherry and Front this afternoon. Wear a yellow
           raincoat and carry a melon. A man will approach you, he'll say, "I am the
           little red rooster." You're to say, "I want to be a shriner." He'll take you
           to-- he'll take you to our camp. You'll be indoctrinated. It could take weeks.
           Tell no one... what you're doing.
Nathan: Oh... I'll never forget this.
Victor: I just hope I can.

Victor: Jumpy?
Mac: What the hell are you doing here?
Victor: Research. The Dogstar line had ships in the right channels at all the right
           times to account for the bodies.
Mac: Dance club owner just showed up.
Victor: I talked to Li Ann. She got the number for this joint off the dead kid's phone.
Mac: It all ties in.
Victor: Better tell the teacher.

Director: Well, obviously everything connects to Dogstar, but we don't know why.
Mac: I'll go in.
Director: They've already tried to kill you once.
Victor: Though who could blame them?
Director: No, Li Ann goes in.
Victor: What if this phony Jimmy Niccolini turns up? He's seen Li Ann already.
Director: His apartment is under surveillance. He was foolish enough to try returning to
               pick up some things. Why don't you take care of him? Li Ann, you go in as
               inspector 3-4-9. Miss Tanya Pao Pao.
Li Ann: Pao Pao?
Director: Yes, dear, it's Samoan.
Nikki: What about me?
Li Ann: I have had enough of your help.
Director: Oh, what is this? Tough love?
Li Ann: Look, there's real work to do. She can have the night off.
Director: All right, I'll hand her over to Dobrinsky. Maybe he can handle her.

Dobrinsky: Come back here! I said come back here! All right, you can go, but don't you
tell Mac!

Sam: One double decaf latte, vanilla-flavoured sugar, skim, with a twist of lemon.
Colonel: And for me one turkish, half-size, double strength.
Sam: Phew, coffee's become a lot more complicated than it needs to be.
Colonel: Nonsense, god is in the details. Now, seeing as how you broke in here, you got
              any reason I shouldn't shoot you?
Nikki: I know what you're doing.
Colonel: Hmm, well, that would be in favour of shooting you, darling.
Nikki: It's got to be an awful lot of money involved, and I want some.
Colonel: Yeah, yeah... everybody wants into show biz.
Nikki: Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't go postal on me, all right. I can help you. I know
           when they're coming after you.
Colonel: After me?
Nikki: Yeah.
Colonel: Who would do a thing like that?
Nikki: This psycho undercover agency. They'll be sending someone in to you. She'll
           claim to be the harbour inspector.
Colonel: Ok, you got a shot. If you're lying, you get a couple of shots.
 

Sam: The world is changing rapidly. The lines are shifting. And the Colonel is at
        the crest of a new wave.
Nikki: Am I supposed to be understanding any of this?
Colonel: You ever been downsized, missy?
Nikki: Nope -- gotta have a job first.
Colonel: Well, I been downsized. 20 years working heart and soul for a big old
              organization didn't need me any more, went out of business. You heard of them.
            The Soviet Union?
Nikki: Get out.
Colonel: Oh, they had it going on. You know, branch plants, an aggressive expansion policy.
Nikki: So, you're a spy?
Colonel: Does Elvis like cheeseburgers?
Nikki: I don't know.
Colonel: I was a full colonel in the KGB.
Sam: They don't call him the Colonel 'cause he looks like Tom Parker, you know.
Nikki: Who?
Sam: Never mind.
Nikki: So, you're an American who worked for the commies.
Colonel: No, I can't abide by no turncoat. I was a card-carrying natural born son of
            the U.S.S.R.
Nikki: You're Russian?
Sam: Oh, oh, oh, don't say that. Don't say that.
Colonel: Russian -- do I look like a damn Russian? Do I look like some vodka-swilling,
            bad suit-wearing, heavy-browed lout? No. I'm from god's country.
            Kazakhstan. It's kind of like the Texas of Russia. He's Kazakh. The next big
            place to be from. It's going to be very hot.
Nikki: Wow, you're so American.
Colonel: That's 'cause I was the best.
Sam: The Colonel was in charge of training moles to plant in the west.
Nikki: You trained moles?
Colonel: What do they teach you kids?
Sam: Moles are undercover agents.
Nikki: Oh...sorry. Ha, ha, ha...
Colonel: Soviets who snuck into western society. I taught them to be more American than
            Marion Morrison.
Sam: It's John Wayne.
Colonel: Then, boom, no more evil empire. But I learned what I needed from the decadent
            west, and I figure it's high time I pursued me some happiness. I sell my
            services to the highest bidder. Right now that's a vibrant young organization
            expanding to the west.
Sam: Russian mafia -- it's bursting out all over. It's like the next big thing in
        the world of organized crime.
Colonel: They got some major immigration problems.
Sam: Yeah, and this is the bitchin' part. We eliminate the people and take their
        identities. Financial histories, ATMs, credit cards.
Nikki: And so you sell their identities to the Russian mob.
Colonel: You're not as dumb as you look, sugar. Ha, ha -- be a shame to shoot you. On
              balance, I hope you're telling the truth.
Nikki: I am.
Colonel: Yeah... no kidding? Well, I'll be right out. Huh, she showed up just like you said.

Colonel: We're just about to knock off for the day.
Li Ann: Yeah, you don't seem too busy.
Colonel: No ship this week, no cargo. Critical path -- Miss, uh... Pao Pao. Pao Pao --
            well, that's some name.
Li Ann: Ha, ha, it's Samoan.
Colonel: Samoan -- would that be American Samoa or Eastern Samoa?
Li Ann: American.
Colonel: Eastern Samoa is the American one.
Li Ann: Geography was never my strong suit.
Colonel: And those are last year's forms.

Li Ann: You.
Nikki: Yeah, me. Ha, ha, ha...

Mac: She's not out yet?
Victor: She hasn't signalled yet.
Mac: All right, we give her five minutes and then we move in.

Sam: There's 300 grand at the club.
Colonel: We'll get it on the way.
Nikki: Way to where?
Colonel: We're turning tail, honey. "We're getting ready for to fade," as the Zimmerman
              would say. The beauty of us is we're totally mobile.   Nothing but software.
              New lives, new identities, same old operation -- I'm good at this.
Sam: What about the agent?
Colonel: Throw her in the sea like the rest. Come on, partners, we're inkling.
Victor: Li Ann. Who's the cowboy?
Mac: I don't know, but I recognize his partner.
Victor: Ok, I'll get the limo, you get the meat wagon.
Mac: Thanks a lot.
Victor: What's wrong? You can't handle it?

Mac: Hi. [ whistling ] Come on, let's go. Bon voyag-ee. Aloha. Arriver-dorchi.

Colonel: Come on, Sam, we ain't got all day.
[ crashing ]
Sam: Go check that out.
[ blaring techno music ]
Victor: I hate this music!!
Colonel: You wanted to join up? This is your initiation. Watch her.
[ gunshots ]
[ music stopping ]
Colonel: Ha, ha, ha... you got to learn to cover your flanks, son.
[ gun clicking ]
Colonel: Sam's gun. Damn fool doesn't know nothing about firearm maintenance.
[ gun clicking ]
Colonel: Sorry, Miss Pao Pao.
Nikki: Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Victor: Li Ann!
Nikki: I did it. I fooled you all. I fooled them all. I did it. Ha, ha, ha...
Victor: You shot at me!
Nikki: Well, did I hit you? No. I missed on purpose.
Victor: So did I.
Nikki: You should have known it was a scam. Whoo! I am the queen of the freaking universe.
 

Victor: She could have got li ann killed.
Director: And you've never done that.
Mac: She didn't tell us what she was doing.
Director: And you've never done that.
Li Ann: Yeah, but we're not crazy.
Director: Crazy is irrelevant. Look, keeping Nikki on the case worked.
               That is the only thing that matters to me. She got inside the operation.
               She saved your skin by gaining the Colonel's confidence. It was brilliant risk
               evaluation on her part. Now... I have an important, um... ...conference,
               so I suggest that the three of you... take a moment and, uh, lighten up.

Director: You know, Nikki, you really are quite talented... just like your mother. You
               should seriously consider working here.
Nikki: Yeah, well, I'm still kind of young. Need to be on my own for a while. Get in
           touch with myself. I hear they're looking for freedom fighters in Afghanistan.
           That'd be good.
Director: That'd be perfect. I'll make a call.