ALONG CAME A SPIDER |
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Rating - Cast & Crew info: |
Written by DAVID KEYES
The villain referred to in the title of Lee Tamahori's "Along
Came A Spider" is not the innocuous arachnid who "frightened Miss Muffet
away" in nursery rhymes, but instead a viscous and manipulative psychopath
who creeps between the cracks of the plot without fear of being discovered
by someone who just might unravel his web of deception. He also doesn't
seem to mind much that he's wandering around without a sense of what he's
doing, or what the point exactly is of his endless mind games. And that's
an even bigger problem with the movie than you might first suspect, because
the protagonist of the picture, a forensics detective named Alex Cross (the
always-admirable Morgan Freeman), is so smart and alert in his police investigations
that even more cautious criminals would not likely slip through his fingers.
Watching him wade through this incoherent mess is like seeing a good baseball
pitcher benched for the season; he has the talent and the ambition, but
the situation he's in just doesn't give him the opportunity to show off
the way he deserves to.
Don't be too confused if you've heard the character's name before, either--he's
actually the same man who unraveled the sinister but compelling plot of
"female collecting" in 1997's "Kiss The Girls." That movie, like this
one (which, despite little cinematic linkage, is considered a prequel),
studies the process of investigation through a man who doesn't ever overlook
the smallest details, even though the antagonist continuously strikes
and always leaves so little for the FBI to go on. The big difference is
that the first movie had a layered, thought-provoking story that left
the audience feeling like it was part of the intricate mystery, often
peeking around corners for clues. In this, the "much-anticipated" follow-up,
so little makes sense and so much is left up to speculation that there
isn't even an urge to get involved, and when the plot begins to make the
obligatory turning points, we are so bewildered by the many idiotic connections
and absurdities that even the writers of "Arlington Road" would throw
back their heads in disbelief.
The Alex Cross we first come into contact with here is not exactly the
man who is "ready for the job"--he's just lost his partner, and spends
most of his spare time building model boats to pass along the hours. Soon,
however, he is called back into duty when sweet little Megan Rose (Mika
Boorem), a student at a prestigious private school and daughter to a U.S.
Senator, is kidnapped by a madman named Gary Soneji (Michael Wincott)
with some kind of hidden agenda (so hidden, in fact, that the audience
never really gets to know what it is). What intrigues Cross about the
case most is not the victim, but the conviction of the kidnapper's style
(who, by chance, masqueraded as a teacher at the school before he pounced).
Periodically, Soneji will leave little clues behind for Cross and his
dimwitted partner, Jezzie Flannigan (Monica Potter), to catch onto, inspiring
a cat-and-mouse game similar in vein to that of last year's "The Watcher."
Director Tamahori, who seems to have suffered a creative collapse ever
since his "The Edge" was released four years ago, does little to help
the material find a firm surface. Often we get the impression that he's
directing his stars and technicians as loosely as possible, not because
he wants it that way, but because there's nothing much to push for here.
And if that isn't bad enough, the remaining cast wanders aimlessly through
the material as if they're looking for a mentor, and yet can never seem
to find one. Poor little Monica Potter is a prime example of how this
plays out; her secret agent character is wimpy, spontaneous, withdrawn
and weary, looking up to the Alex Cross character as if she were saying,
"would you be my teacher?"
Wandering away from this extremely asinine product, I am reminded not
of its direct descendant, "Kiss The Girls," but "Seven," a thorough, rousing
and highly engaging murder mystery thriller that was not just plausibly
legit, but also starred Morgan Freeman as a subtle, determined detective
whose voice was a low growl, his eyes telescopes for little clues. If
you want to see "Along Came A Spider," be my guest. But do yourself a
favor and see "Seven" if you haven't afterwards. Then you can tell me
which picture is the correct way to handle a police investigation.
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