You know you AREN'T Dana Scully when . . .
- Clairol Loving Color #121 looks different on the box then on your hair.
Friends affectionately begin calling you "Bozo".
- No one is impressed with your "alien implant scar" which looks suspiciously
like a burn from your curling iron.
- The FBI switchboard doesn't refer to you as Special Agent but as "that
nutty lady who keeps calling here looking for someone named Skinner".
- The telephone company cancelled your service after you climbed the
telephone poll and pulled out the cable lines running to your house. In fact,
they are suing you for $750 in damages. All a part of the master scheme to
make you look crazy.
- Your plastic water pistols looks like a plastic water pistol. No one is
intimidated by it, least of all the squirrels you use for target practice.
- People hang up when you answer your cell phone "Scully," thinking they have
the wrong phone number.
- Your significant other has threatened to become a vegetarian if you
continue playing "autopsy" on the steaks in the freezer. They don't seem to
care that the cow had a man-made virus and will NOT listen to your
explanations of how it might be a public health threat.
- You wonder vaguely why you haven't seen your cat/dog for weeks now.
- Pier One refuses to admit to you that their ice pick is really an alien
weapon that they are mass-selling to the public to allow the human race to
fight back against the government-condoned colonization. In fact, after
lengthy questioning, the manager throws you out of the store with a few choice
words.
- Your credit card company thoughtfully calls, inquiring if your card has
been stolen. It appears that several large purchases of womens' suits were
made, and the slip was signed by a "D. Scully". You assure them the purchases
are real and hang up quickly. You know that they were really checking to see
if you were home. You leave the premises immediately, before an attempt on
your life is made.
- The one F. William Mulder you found by looking through 700 telephone books
and 3,000 Internet searches has issued an injunction order against you. He
doesn't appear to remember working for the FBI after having his memory erased.
His wife and 15 children are merely plants designed to throw you off-track.
You vow that you will bring back his memory if it's the LAST thing you do.
Unfortunately, this is pretty difficult to do from a jail cell.
Thanks Kristine!!!