David Bryan - THE HUB with Dr. Judy Kuriansky, Cert Sex Therapist USA
21/08/97
Didn't get it right from the start, but didn't miss anything that David said.

DrJudyKuri: Like Sting does you can contract your stomach muscles.

Davd Bryan: Control can be learned.

DrJudyKuri: Or contract your pc (pelvic floor ) muscles. And learn the point of ejaculatory inevitability and stop before that and then gear up again.

Davd Bryan: Think of your gradmother might help.

Question: I want to have sex with my girlfriend but I don't know how to go about setting the mood and/or asking her, please help.

DrJudyKuri: David how do you set the mood? Set the mood, by romancing her first.

Davd Bryan: Get a lava lamp and some inscence.

DrJudyKuri: Tell her you want to give her the best night of her life and ask what would please her.

Davd Bryan: Slip her a micky.

DrJudyKuri: Then tell her you want the two of you to be more intimate and really open with each other. Watch a sexy romantic movie and then tell her the scene that you would like to do with her.

Davd Bryan: Play my solo insrumental record.

DrJudyKuri: Is it sexy music?

Davd Bryan: Drink wine then more wine .Yes it's very sexy.

Question: Judy, why is it when my boyfriend and I have sex, he won't let me be on the bottom. I have asked many times, and he still says he can't. Is there any way I can ask him without him getting all offended? Or do you think he's right and he really can't do it.

DrJudyKuri: People have different associations to positions. They may really like one because it worked for them...Or NOT like another becaue it didn't work out.

Davd Bryan: Wrestle him around until you're where you want to be.

DrJudyKuri: I bet your boyfriend has lost his erection in that position and so he is hesitant to repeat it. Guys avoid anything that led to an erectile dysfunction. Let him know that you enjoy PLAYING by moving around and anything that happens will be fun and wonderful between you -- even if he loses his erection.

Davd Bryan: Wear lingerie and get on the bottom and don't move.

DrJudyKuri: It's anticipates his resistance as we call it and eliminates the anxiety.

Question: Why do I constantly feel the urge to have sex with my friends Sister just because she has extremely large breasts.?

DrJudyKuri: Large breasts must mean something to you.

Davd Bryan: You are human congratulations.

DrJudyKuri: As in the case of positions, you must have had an experience that was positive.

Davd Bryan: Large breasts are always good!

DrJudyKuri: Or had a maternal figure you felt adored by with large breasts -- and so they captivate your attention. Get in touch with what that association is.

Davd Bryan: Small breasts are good too!

DrJudyKuri: Think now - large breats what's the first thing that comes to mind? That's how to get to the deeper meaning.

Davd Bryan: Sex!

DrJudyKuri: With me tonight, David Bryan, the keyboardist from Bon Jovi. David has two young toddlers -3 year old twins... and so David, what advice do you have for Richie Sambora, whose wife Heather Locklear is pregnant and about to have a baby?

Davd Bryan: get a NANNY quick!!!!!!!

DrJudyKuri: Why is that?

Davd Bryan: You'll never sleep again.

DrJudyKuri: And how do you keep your love together alive after the baby arrives?

Davd Bryan: Get a NANNY!!!!! Keep fantasizing together.

Question: I love my fiancee very very much, but for some reason, I am not being turned on as well as I used to be by him. What's the problem?

DrJudyKuri: If you get bored so quickly with someone once you are commited it usualy means you are stopping treating eachother as NEW.

Davd Bryan: Go out get loaded, go to a hotel a be young and carefree.

DrJudyKuri: The anwser is to keep treating each other as if you had just met. If you just meet someone you are always putting your best foot forward and learning new things every day. You need to ask those questions you would of a first date. Probably you are also scared about making the commitment. That's natural as the wedding draws close... David Bryan, the Bon Jovi keyboardist here with us as honorary love doctor tonight, met his wife when he was 19... and is still together after 16 years - a true accomplishment. Did it change when you first decided to get married?

Davd Bryan: No not at all.

Question: How effective are condums?

DrJudyKuri: You can still have an "accident". It has been estimated that there can be 5 "mistakes" out of every 100 experiences. But if used properly, you lower the risks.

Davd Bryan: They also make great balloons!

Question: My boyfriend and I have been having sex for five years. How can I make our honeymoon night special?

Davd Bryan: Don't have sex. Just kiddin.

DrJudyKuri: Have ecah other write on a piece of paper what you would really like from each other and then open it and do it for each other as a gift. Or PRETEND that you are NEW lovers- virgins!! Stop having sex for a while before the wedding so it feels totally new.

Davd Bryan: Go to Hawaii and just ROCK!

DrJudyKuri: And you build up the anticipation.

Question: You're completely wonderful, Dr. Judy. My question is: what is a quief (if spelt right)??? What causes it. and how can i prevent this embaressing noise?

Davd Bryan: A vaginal fart.

DrJudyKuri: David is right. It's air expelled from the vaginal barrel. Not harmless.

Davd Bryan: Not bad for an amateur.

DrJudyKuri: Don't be embarrassed about it.

Question: Dr. Judy: While going through the change, my young husband has a problem with this. Though I use Replens, he feels threnghted by this, not being natural. Without it , forget it! Any suggestions?

DrJudyKuri: Oh my dear, good for you. Doing whatever you need to keep yourself feeling sexy. Replens is of course a lubricant that helps keep the vaginal canal moist : that is helpful for women who get dry as a result of menopause. Tell your husband it is no different than anything that would help him have an erection.

Davd Bryan: Tell him it ain't slick if it ain't slick get it!

DrJudyKuri: You wouldn't disparage him that help!! Tell him it's perfectly normal. And he is still the SOURCE of your pleasure.

Davd Bryan: Replens is your friend!

Question: Me and my girlfriend never see each other, do you think we will last? We talk all the time but never see each other.

DrJudyKuri: Sure it can last forever -- if you want it to!!!

Davd Bryan: Fly to where ever she is and see her already.

DrJudyKuri: But most couples need to have SOME physical interaction in the same place in order to keep their relationship alive....

Davd Bryan: At some point you might want to touch.

Question: hello Dr. Judy I have a question, my husband and I are going though hard times and he told me that he is not in love with me anymore but he loves me still so what does that mean ?

DrJudyKuri: Oh dear-- that is a devastating thing to hear.

Davd Bryan: You're in trouble.

DrJudyKuri: Translation: It usually means "I'm not passionate about you... but we still have experiences we've shared" and "I'm not ready to leave you, but I might if I fell for someone else." It's time to get some marriage counseling. And have him express to you what that means for him.

Question: How can I tell someone likes me or just wants to have sex me?

DrJudyKuri: If he wants to do other things with you. If he invites you to the movies or other activities.

Davd Bryan: If he talks he might like you, if he doesn't he might not.

DrJudyKuri: If he takes you out with his friends instead of just coming over and hanging out. If he talks to you and cares about what you have to say.

Question: Hey Dr.Judy! I am in love with Pete but we haven't been together for that long. Would it be ok to have sex with him so early in the relationship? I'm really serious about who I do it with. It would be my first time with my first love.

DrJudyKuri: Ok that's a question relevant to the topic of the week- How Soon To Have Sex. In your case, be sure that Pete really matters to you.

Davd Bryan: If you're the guy it's real good.

DrJudyKuri: The first time you have sex really sticks in your mind, so don't just do it when you're inebriated or just to get rid of it.

Davd Bryan: If you're the girl, your father is dying.

DrJudyKuri: Or because all your friends are. AND. Remember that you get more attached to someone after having sex - certainly women do! So make sure that you'll see Pete AFTER! Or you'll be real disappointed.... David Bryan, our honorary love doctor tonight.. You met your beloved wife - with whom you've together for 16 years -- on a blind date, at a bar, and when did the two of you do it first?

Davd Bryan: We did it the first night. Then over and over and over again, yeah.

DrJudyKuri: So even though people are waiting longer nowadays... There are still some people who get carried away by the thrill and chemistry of the moment and have sex on the first night. For a small number, the relationship lasts. But you would be lucky.. Because you really don't know who the person is and what their style is and how they handle themselves in love at all....

Davd Bryan: I'm probably really lucky cause we stayed together.

DrJudyKuri: David Bryan is of course the keyboardist for Bon Jovi, and has his own solo career going...with one instrumental album already and the new hot song on the upcoming one is called "We All Fall Down"- which means what about relaitonships David?

Davd Bryan: "We All Fall Down" is a life and relationship song, the line "we only learn from the minute we get up off the ground" says it all.

DrJudyKuri: That's a great point. Good advice for everyone who's been hurt in relationships.

Davd Bryan: Life is a interactive learning experience.

DrJudyKuri: That at the moment you face a trauma, it's the time to learn when you pick yourself up and brush yourself off and start all over again.

Question: Ihave a fantasy where Iam involved in very submissive situations...is this normal?

DrJudyKuri: Yes. The submissive fantasy was the most popular female fantasy in the past decade but has been taken over by the opposite -- that women want to be in control.

Davd Bryan: It's always good to be the King!

DrJudyKuri: But you are a man, and men have these fantasies too often men who are in control a lot in their life and in sex they want to experience the opposite - Being controlled. Or they feel guilty about being controlling and want to be controlled. You can play master and slave as long as it doesn't become an obsession... And you really need to be humiliated in life and can't allow the expression of real love and intimacy.

Davd Bryan: Remember the one rule NO BITING!! Ask Marv, ask Tyson, ask Jeffery Damer.

DrJudyKuri: David Bryan and Iwere on a VH1 show about fantasy with the model Frederique who shared that her fantasy was having sex with a man in uniform - preferably a cop. And David, your fantasy..

Davd Bryan: I needed Frederique to put her hand down my pants and that is that!

DrJudyKuri: And now, the time has come to invite on stage the person who won.

OnlineHost: Maialyn has entered the room.

Maialyn: Hi all.

DrJudyKuri: The issue of the week this week -- which was about How Long Do You Wait Before Having Sex- Maialyn, good evening.

Maialyn: Thanks for having me.

Davd Bryan: Hi Mai!

DrJudyKuri: What is your anwer to that question.

Maialyn: Hi David! Ummmm, well I hate to make arbitrary rules but my friend and I have the six date rule.

DrJudyKuri: Oh my goodness- that's what I have been postulating for years... The six date rule -- before you even THINK about it-

Davd Bryan: Can you double up on dates?

DrJudyKuri: Becaue you have to observe the way the person is in several situaitons.

Maialyn: Nope! At least six REAL dates.

DrJudyKuri: What's a real date?

Maialyn: Not just coming over to make out.

Davd Bryan: What would you do on the 7th date?

DrJudyKuri: What would you do on the dates?

Maialyn: That's the fun part.

Davd Bryan: Now were talkin.

Maialyn: Oh, dinner, movies, dancing, bowling.......

David Bryan: Nice.

DrJudyKuri: I suggest dates that reveal what the person is really like...You have to see them interact with various people-

Davd Bryan: How about goning to a concert HUH!

DrJudyKuri: Like see how they treat others, as an example, of how they would treat you. Watch them with their friends to see how they treat you in front of friend.

Maialyn: Concerts (like Bon Jovi) are good too.

Question: I was with this girl who cheated on me twice before if i finally gave her the boot but now she wants to see me again before we both leave for school in two weeks. Ireally don't want to see her again. What should I do?

Davd Bryan: Thats what I'm getting at.

DrJudyKuri: Ok so I think we are really pleased about this 6 date watching period.

Davd Bryan: Move on or do it and move on.

Maialyn: Yeah, it seems to work.

DrJudyKuri: I would suggest that if the girl cheated on you but has unfinished business and wants to see you, then you might have some things you want to say well - like how you felt about how she treated you. But if you really don't want to see her, then you should say no, don't feel obligated.

Maialyn: Thanks again.

OnlineHost: Maialyn has left the room.

DrJudyKuri: Thank Maialyn - you had a great point, and I enjoyed your energy.

Davd Bryan: Bye Mai (that rhyms).

Question: Since my boyfrnd found out I cheated on him, he's been pulling away from me. He says he doesn't want to leave me, but I think he does. A lot of my friends say that he's just getting0 revenge, but today he asked me to marry him. What do you think??

DrJudyKuri: He was hurt. Be sympathetic. Obviously he cares.

Davd Bryan: Is he in a Band?

DrJudyKuri: If you care back, then reassure him...that's what he needs.

Question: Hi I'm 22 years old and engaged to a great guy, but I am very unhappy and I don't know why. He is wonderful, but I can't stand sex, even just kissing. And I really love him. When we have sex I don't get anything out of it. Whats wrong with me!

DrJudyKuri: I would suspect you have been hurt before - maybe you were sexually abused or misused or used.

Davd Bryan: Maybe what wrong with him.

DrJudyKuri: So it has turned you off. Look into his eyes, say to yourself how much he cares about you and allow yourself to be swept into the feelings of pleasure nad being loved- and your desire to kiss will come naturally.

Davd Bryan: Put on a Bon Jovi record a go to town. Always or Bed of Roses.

Question: Why does love have to be so hard?

DrJudyKuri: It's only hard when you're scared or not treated well.

Davd Bryan: Cause if it ain't hard it ain't worth a #$%^

DrJudyKuri: Feel the fear and do it anyway. Or pick someone who is lighter about life.

Davd Bryan: An oldie but goodie.

Question: Dr Judy, I have a sensitive issue to address with my girlfriend, she has an odor, a specific odor that eminates from a part of her body, how do Itell her without hurting her feelings?

DrJudyKuri: I assume you mean from her personal parts. Take a bath together first.

Davd Bryan: A sprinkle a day........

DrJudyKuri: If that doesn't help, it is her scent... And there is nothing you can do to change it. You will have to learn to love it like getting used to loving the taste of peas.

Davd Bryan: Use the honey dust in the Karma Sutra sex kit.

Question: I'm a 16 year old male...I like younger guys. I was wondering if this makes me a pedophile.

DrJudyKuri: You need to explore the reasons behind this and do not act it out, because you will get into deep trouble.

Davd Bryan: You're not old enough don't be stupid.

DrJudyKuri: Usually it means that you had some experience with an older partner and are repeting it in reverse... for guys who have been sexually abused when they were little, they may turn to younger boys. Also, it often is involved with a deeper psychoanalytic need to relate to someone you can control and who would not threaten you. Allow yourself to explore the need by thinking it through... And it is often very helpful to do that with a therapist to help guide you to the deper issues.

Question: I always feel like women are repulsed by me because I'm so big (6'4" at age 15) How can I get over my fear?

DrJudyKuri: Feel like you are a tower of strength and power and delight.

Davd Bryan: Find a big woman!!

DrJudyKuri: I know it feels bad to be too tall or too short or anything that differs from other kids.

Davd Bryan: I know they're out there.

DrJudyKuri: When you are growing up, but if there's somethng you can't change you have to embrace it. Think of how great those basketball players think about themselves.

Davd Bryan: Date women in the WBA.

Question: When is a male able to ejaculate for the first time? Is it at the end of the stage of puberty?

DrJudyKuri: No, you don't have to wait to the end!!!!!!

Question: So are their any medical reasons why a male should not masterbate?

Davd Bryan: When your little guy is ready!

DrJudyKuri: No. In fact it is good for many reasons-

Davd Bryan: It's good and good for you.

DrJudyKuri: Proves you are functioning healthily. And keeps you that way. It also builds your confidence...David Bryan, our honorary love doctor, the keyboardist from Bon Jovi has been around the world with the band, on the road, does that keep you healthy?

Davd Bryan: The masterbation? The ming is the last bastion of freedom!!! The mind! Not ming.

Question: My mate would like for me to be able to take fluids and don't know how to relax and be comfortable with the situation.

Davd Bryan: Masterbation and fantasies go hand in hand! Swallow?

DrJudyKuri: What a gracious way to say that!!!!! Relax by practicig opening your throat swallowing from a glass of water or thinking about what you are doing when you take a pill. You be in control of how far you allow him inside... So you are not caught off guard -- that is the most important thing so you are not afraid. Remember you LOVE HIM.

Question: Do you guys really find it that much more exciting when women swallow?

DrJudyKuri: Men do.

Davd Bryan: YES! I'm a man!

Comment: I prefer slow music and dim lights. Ya know all that jazz. I heard that turnips enhance intimacy when eaten en masse. David has the right idea with incence & lava lamps!

DrJudyKuri: What a wonderful night it has been. Incense, lava lamps, love, it works. Thanks, for all of you for coming tonight, for sharing and for sending your energy over the internet with us. Can you feel the energy!

Davd Bryan: Thanks for having me as your guest.

DrJudyKuri: And thanks David.

Davd Bryan: Your welcome.

DrJudyKuri: Look for his CD "On A Full Moon" in stores, for that love music background. And his new solo coming out with "We All Fall Down" til next week....

Davd Bryan: See Ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OnlineHost: DrJudyKuri has left the room.

OnlineHost: Davd Bryan has left the room.

OnlineHost: HubDawn has left the room.

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