Reviews of "Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets" by The Four Bastards

Fucking Weasleys

Hot Chick: Robbie Coltrane as Hagrid, who I actually thought was played by Oliver Platt for a long time.

                                                   Coltrane                                                                   Platt

Hot Chick Factor: 0 for both -- sorry, fellas

Synopsis -- Read the book you illiterate bastard.

Ryan's review:

I read the first book and loved it.  I did not read this book, but I can tell you the movie kicked ass.  This being “movie reviews,” you my friend, are in luck.  There were some scary moments that surprised me for being a children’s film.  It kept me interested.  The most impressive things are the visual effects.  The entire look of the movie is, well, brilliant.  Everybody will like this movie, oh, wait a minute…Yeah…Okay, I just saw the numbers for the opening weekend and there is no need for me to write any more of a review because everybody in the world has seen it. 

Rating: 6 out of… Oh, who gives a shit now?

Jason's review:

I completely agree with everything Ryan says.  This one is better than the first and there are kind of some scary images that surprised me.  This movie will make 8 billion dollars so does it really matter what a bastard says?  Yes, it does, A-holes.
4 out of 5 cats hanging by their tails.

Nate's review:

I have yet to review this film.

 

Tim's review:

Tim has yet to review this film. Whatever!

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