Reviews of "Red Dragon" by The Four Bastards

Go Big Red Dragon -- the best movie ever made

Hot Chick: Mary Louise Parker(?)

Hot Chick Factor: From the headshot, I'll give her a 7.5

Synopsis -- not sure, haven't seen it yet (see below)

Ryan's review:

Okay, I have been busy and have not actually seen this film.  However, in the world of movie reviews, time is of the essence.  Therefore, I will be doing this review as my friend Matt after two redbulls and a double macchiato.


"Dude, I just saw 'Red Dragon,' and it kicked so much fucking ass.  It was so fucking good.  I am so pumped right now over this movie and I usually do not get pumped over movies.  I was seriously scared.  Shit. I got a cat this weekend.  Total impulse buy.  But the movie did not show gore, it was just psychological.  Just fucking scary.  The cat is old.  I did not want a kitten that would fuck up my apartment.  So I got this old fucker who just chills.  I think he  is about to die.  Hannibal wasn't in the movie that much, but the beginning is cool.  I gotta go.  I still don't have a date for the weekend and it is almost Wednesday.  I need to find a girl on the brink of insanity and just date her until she goes completely wacko and kills my cat."

Jason's review:

The first and most chilling chapter of the Hannibal Lecter series did not disappoint.  I hated "Hannibal."  I thought it was horrible, but "Red Dragon" is great.  It isn't really that scary and really leaves more to the imagination, unlike "Hannibal."  Did anyone else notice the blind girl feeling the tiger's unit?  A few too many ass shots of Ralph Feinnes also, but that should make Tim happy.

 

Rating: 4 out of 5 family inches of the tiger's unit that was felt by the blind girl

 

Tim's review:

Tim has yet to review this film. Whatever!

Nate's review:

I have yet to review this film too

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