Hot Chick: Vera Farmiga

Hot Chick Factor: 6

Synopsis -- Paul Walker's finest performance. Need I say more??

Short declaratory phrase in an attempt to get quoted in TV trailer, ad, or cover box --

"The best! At being the worst!"

Nate's review:

This movie is almost impossible to describe in terms of how truly bad it is. This is definitely the worst movie that will be made during my lifetime. It is just so spectacularly shitty, watching it is almost surreal. To start things off, we see Paul Walker's friend shooting a guy in the nuts. Okay, you say to yourself, that's kinda uncomfortable, but I've seen worse probably. Then, Walker goes home after the shootout and decides he really wants to have some of the sex with his wife. He pulls her pants down and we see him getting after her, uhh, little man. When I say we see it, I mean we are seeing A LOT. It was as uncomfortable as I've been with nudity since that time Tim ran out in the hallway naked and went door-to-door asking to borrow a cup of corn starch. Funny, yes, but I wanted the whole scene to end quickly, just like this thing that could not even possibly begin to be described as a "film." I couldn't believe the "movie" was just rated "R." Later there is a scene in a strip club in which we see even more. It was pretty amazing stuff. Then, we see some nice domestic abuse. Suffice to say, content-wise, everything you never wanted to see in the hands of someone that is not Tarantino or Rodriguez you see, unfortunately, and some more. Let me also tell a little story about the dialogue. I have always professed a love for the phrase "fuckin' shit!" because its usage denotes a situation in which you are at the absolute bottom of the proverbial barrel for something to say. If you're saying "fuckin' shit!," you got nothin' else. Rarely, if ever should this be a problem for a screenwriter. Bingobango, we get so much random "fuckin'" this and "fuckin'" that in this movie, it becomes quite evident that this guy got nothin' else. Directorially/editorially speaking, it is best described as a little really bad Tony Scott ripoff plus a little David Fincher ripoff plus a whole bunch of craziness plus a little really bad Wachowski brothers ripoff. In short, you absolutely cannot do worse than this film. In some ways, this is quite an achievement, but I suppose that depends on your point of view. In mine, this movie is not worth any look at all, unless you are just one hell of a sick bastard. Fuckin' shit!

Jason's review:

Jason has yet to review this film.

Ryan's review:

Ryan has yet to review this film.

Tim's review:

Tim has yet to review this film. Whatever!

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