Reviews of "The Ring" by The Four Bastards
Throw a radio in a bathtub
Hot Chick: Naomi Watts
Hot Chick Factor: 9!
Synopsis --
a whorish teenager finds a videotape that kills you if you watch it.
Naturally, she and her boyfriend and his friends watch it. They
subsequently die seven days later. Inexplicably, the girl's aunt finds
out
about the tape and watches it herself. She then freaks herself out
and
figures out that she has seven days to solve the mystery of the crazy
magical VHS tape that kills you when you watch it!
Nate's review:
I wasn't too impressed with this movie. Maybe it was way over my head or
I
just didn't "get" it, but I didn't see anything of value in the movie in
a
filmic sense. I mean, the prospect of watching anything on VHS is a
bit
scary these days, I'll admit, but I don't know if it would be enough to
kill
me. It might just make me blind from squinting. Anyhow, there was no
real explanation of how this tape came to be, because apparently this thing
had
been killing people since before there was such a thing as VCRs. And the kid
saying
all this weird cryptic shit about dead people all scary-like can only
freak
you once, and like two years ago. That had to me more of a rip-off than
any
sort of homage... Geez, I don't know what else to say about it. It
sucked;
don't go see it. Rent it on video so you can watch the video and then
watch
the video on video and freak out... What?? You do get to see a cool
scene
of a horse peacing itself out, however...
Rating: 6 out of 10 elaborately ridiculous ways to kill yourself
Jason's review:
I somewhat agree with Nate about this movie. It does leave a lot of questions
unanswered. I still am not sure that I liked it or didn't; I know that I
was very uncomfortable and glad it was over. Honestly it freaked me out.
I wasn't that scared until I was driving home and an old woman was staring
right at me! Later I found out that she lives in the building across
from me and rents two apartments, one for her and one for her dead mother's
ghost! Fuck Samara, this old bitch scared the shit out of me!
Rating: 2 out of 5 apartments rented by old scary weird people
Ryan's review:
Ryan has yet to review this film.
Tim's review:
Tim has yet to review this film. Whatever!
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