Reviews of
"Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" by The Four Bastards
stay the fuck away from my precious... beers
Hot Chick: I don't know about the other Bastards, but I gotta go with Liv
Tyler on this one. She's the cleanest
person in the film by far.
Hot Chick Factor: 9!
Synopsis --
The saga continues-- the Hobbits get closer to Mordor and a bunch
of Orks (sp?) die along the way in various locales and by a variety
of
methods, including but not limited to impalement on swords, spears,
arrows,
etc., drowning, burning alive, evil magic spells, starvation, mass
hysteria,
and the clap. In short, fun for the whole family.
Nate's review:
I liked this movie a little more than I did the first. Both were
good, but I didn't feel like I was in the theater for three hours as much as
I did after the first. That may be because I saw the first one at a
shit-ass dollar theater, but whatever. All I know is you've got to see
these things in the theater! The effects and the grandiose look of the
film
are just incredible. And man can that Legolas cat kick some ass.
He does
some crazy shit. Aragon or whatever and the dwarf guy are pretty cool in
their own right, although I heard that Vigo Mortenson has a hygiene problem in
real life... not that it really matters in this movie since he's walking
around all dirty anyway. My favorite characters in this were the tree
guys. They
were awesome, and stepped on a lot of folk. It's also good to see Agent
Smith back as the leader of the elves. That guy kicks some ass too.
Overall, besides the constant, endless stream of crazy scary imagery and
references to all these people and places that I have no idea about, I would
say go see it go see it go see it. Just don't drink too much water
before
the movie.
Rating: 8.5 out of 10 crazy hot elf chicks
Jason's review:
There is not much I can say about this that has not already been said.
So I'll make it short. I absolutely loved it. I liked it
better than the first. This one is shorter on plot and characters and
longer on action. I loved the first, don't get me wrong. It
doesn't matter what I say, everyone has seen it and will see it again.
Rating:5 out of 5 the LOTR freaks will see this movie
Ryan's review:
Ryan has yet to review this film.
Tim's review:
Tim has yet to review this film. Whatever!
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