Hot Chick:  Ashley Scott

Hot Chick Factor: 9

Synopsis -- A big son of bitch (The Rock) returns to his once quaint, small-town, boyhood home hoping to find work in the lumber mill. Unfortunately, the mill has been closed, and the main source of jobs for the townspeople is now a casino/strip club run by the local Rich Asshole! The Rock is rubbed the wrong way by all the corruption and runs for Sheriff to clean up the town. He hires Johnny Knoxville as his deputy, and violence ensues.

Short declaratory phrase in an attempt to get quoted in TV trailer, ad, or cover box --

"El Piedro es muy grande y peligroso! Especialmente con un palillo grande en sus manos!"

Nate's review:

Oh my gosh, I won another radio contest so I got to see this movie before it came out too! I have some kind of crazy knack for being the tenth caller, I guess. Man. I am awesome. Anyway, this is a remake of a popular movie of the same title from the 70s. The biggest differences between the two are that the first film was set in Tennessee (and hence called a "hixploitation film"), while this one looks like Washington or Oregon, and the whorehouse in the first movie is replaced by an Indian casion/strip club replete with somewhat covert drug sales! Not only that, but the other movie was probably pretty good, as it spawned a TV series in the early 80s, and this one is a piece of crap. I think they should have kept the original character's name (and the real guy's name that the story is based upon), "Buford Pusser," instead of changing it to something more... er, bourgeois... I don't know. I guess The Rock or Vince had a problem with him being a Pusser. I just like to say "Pusser," it's fun. Okay, maybe this is not crap, after all it is the shortest feature I've ever seen! Seriously, it's like 75 minutes long. This is definitely a movie that is short on plot, not too long on action or anything else. The guy that plays The Rock's Dad, while being a fine actor, looks like what would happen if George Foreman, Biff Henderson, and a raisin had a kid. Also, I never thought I would have occasion to say this, but I think Johnny Knoxville was probably the best actor in the movie. Take that however you want. All in all, if you go into this just to see The Rock kick some ass, then you will like it, because the action is pretty good, but if you think about it for even a few seconds, you will ruin it for yourself, because the story defies all logic at times (i.e. The Rock successfully acting as his own council in court).
Rating:
6 out of 10 strippers Tim has dated so far this year

Ryan's review:

Wow, what a blood bath. I was really shocked at how bloody this movie was – wow, just amazing. I had no idea. I mean, I knew Buffard Pussard got his ass kicked, but this was unreal. And also, The Rock was extremely skinny. I was expecting him to kick ass with a stick, but instead he just kept getting his ass KICKED. Really, really, really, beat to shit. I thought for sure he was going to twirl that stick he was carrying over and start beating down those evil Roman Casino owners, but no, he just kept getting hit and whipped. All in all, I have to say The Rock was amazing. I did not even recognize him from the Giant hulking wrestler he portrays on WWE. The cinematography was excellent too. I don’t know why they called it “Walking Tall” though, it seemed he could barely walk through most of it. Wow! I am just still in shock. I mean, I was ready for a real good time, you know. I snuck a 6 pack of Millier Light in the theater. I bought a couple of hot dogs you know. But shit, I could barely eat that second dog. And it was hard, real hard, to polish off that 6 pack. Watching wrestling is never this tough.
Rating: 8 out of 10 lashings The Rock had to take for what I thought was stopping the flow of meth to a small jewish town from the evil Roman Casino owners.

Jason's review:

Jason has yet to review this film.

Tim's review:

Tim has yet to review this film. Whatever!

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