Jesse "The Body" Ventura is some kind of space cop sent to Earth to capture his ex-partner Secundus, who's gone bad. That ain't all that went bad in this one. Oh, what the hell, it is a bit of a hoot even if my copy ($3.96 at Wal Mart) has a bad soundtrack to it.

Anyway, Secundus blows down to our semi-intellegent planet and impregnates Sonia by touching her belly. Whoa, dare I say it, immaculate what-ya-ma-callit! She comes full term and has the baby in, are you ready for this? TWO MINUTES! The reason he needs a kid is it will grow up to be a "Komator." That means the kid will know the "anti-life equation" which will give Secundus the power to rule the universe. Hey, I don't make this stuff up you know, I just tell it like it is.

Jesse and the proud Poppa go at it toe to toe with Jesse winning. Secundus is zapped back to jail. This is one of the few times Jesse wins a scrap.

Sonia goes home with babe in arms and is promptly thrown out of the house by her father. Hey Dad, instead of freaking out why don't you ask her how she managed to get pregnant and have a kid in just a matter of a few hours, you dipstick?

Five years later Secundus escapes prison and heads back here. He wants to put the grabs on the kid so he can get the "equation." Jesse follows. It's not really a cat and mouse chase or anything here. Jesse keeps catching up to Secundus but gets the tar pounded out of him every time. Poor Jesse even gets stabbed by a floorlamp. Ouch, Jesse, you okay Dude? That came awfully close to the old liver. Here, have an asperin.

We now come to the the final big battle in the requisite abandonned warehouse with fireworks going off all over the place. Jesse finally thumps Secundus and zaps him back to jail. Jesse gets permission from his superiors to remain on Earth because the big bald-headed oaf has fallen in love with Sonia.

I found it kind of dumb but Nana didn't mind it. Check it out if you want. Filmed in the lovely little town of Thornbury not too far north of Toronto. Watch for James Belushi as the really dopey school Principal.