Freakshow 1989

Director: Constantino Magnatta

Starring:
Audrey Landers, Peter Reed, Dean Richards

A lady television reporter gets advance warning that something big is going to happen outside the Waterloo Theatre. What it turns out to be is some nutbar shooting the patrons as they leave the theatre, killing dozens. If she had called the cops the whole thing could have been prevented. This disgusts her camera guy so much that he takes off and leaves her stranded.

She comes across a strange museum while trying to flag down a cab and is invited in by the owner. She enters the place in the hopes of finding a phone. It's a very strange joint with laser beams and mist all over the place. Sorta looks like a rock concert set up. She is invited to view some creepy looking things with each one making her dream a different story.

Story 1. A junkie kills a dope dealer by putting his head through the door of a microwave oven and turning it on. (Great Scene) However, when this dude tries to grab the bag of dope the dealer's dog gets hold of it and splits. This guy chases the dog all over this huge old warehouse without success. That's basically it except for the dude falling down several floors a couple of times.

Story 2. A guy delivers his pizza to a girls school at 1313 Bram Stoker Boulevard. The girls at this school are, shall we say, hotties. There's some kind of vampire thing going on here and our fearless delivery guy muscles his way in to rule the roost.

Story 3. A young lady takes some kind of fancy dope cocktail that puts her into a catatonic coma. When she's rushed to a hospital emergency room -- which has the longest hallway I've ever seen -- she's pronounced DOA. She tries to tell the doctors that she's still alive but cannot talk or move. She is then sent off to the morgue for autopsy.

Story 4. A couple of grave diggers are supplying a golf course with earth that they are stealing from the graveyard. It is believed that this soil would be full of nutrients and would revive the horrible grass at the golf course, which is stupid. Unfortunately for everyone involved the residents of the cemetery want their earth back and they go get it.

Next we go to the ending which is really, really dumb.

Although this flick comes off like several bad Twilight Zone episodes, it is kind of entertaining in a goofy way. I liked story 4 the best, but only because of the corpses coming out of their graves to retrieve their soil. Make sure you're in a giddy mood if you rent this one. Not to be confused with the 1995 movie of the same name.