Hey, isn't that Heather Locklear in that flower shop? Look, she's talking to the plants, I didn't know she was such a bubblehead. Okay, she's leaving now, let's follow her and see where she goes.

Wow, I didn't think she'd come way out here to the swamp. Hmm, now she's going into that creepy old house. Now she's talking to her step-dad and he's a mad scientist, cool. Oh oh, did you hear that? He wants to use Heather in his experiments.

Look, now Heather's romping through the swamp barefoot, boy she's lookin' good. Did you see that? Those two boozehounds must have wanted to play house with her cause they tried to put the grabs on her, but she got away. Run Heather run, they're still chasin' you. No wait, stop Heather, stop. Oops, too late, she just ran into a walrus face dude. Heh, I guess he wants to play house too cause he snagged poor old Heather.

Wait a minute, here comes a guy all covered with lettuce leaves. Hey, he's punching out walrus-puss and the two boozehounds. Way to go lettuce guy, you saved Heather. Did he say his name is Swamp Thing? Nice name there Lettuce Guy.

Now they're heading back to the house. Lettuce guy is kicking some serious butt here. Oh oh, the joint's goin' up in flames. Double oh oh, step-dad's got his leg stuck under a cardboard door and he can't get out. Oh well, I guess he's toast.

Now Heather and Lettuce Guy are back out in the swamp. Wow, did you see that? She kissed Lettuce Guy right on the lips. Ain't that sweet? I'll just bet bacon to beans that they'll live happily ever after.

And that, boys and girls, is the whole story in a nutshell.