outside there are thousands of these maple “helicopter” seeds. they spin to the
ground, antagonized by the wind. they hit the ground, nothing. they hit the
grass, they stand up. more like they’re propped up by the harmless blades of
grass. didn’t notice it till today. it’s like without these blades of grass
they’d be nothing. you are, for me, those harmless blades of grass that prop me
up when i need it. even when i don’t need it…
i feel this incredible lacking feeling for not knowing you sooner. the reasons
go on and on like night and day: you make me a better person. you are a great
person. you need company one of these days when you’re watching the sunset or
sunrise or walking those streets at night. you need me. i need you…
angel in tears. i won’t rest or anything until it’s just angel. give me those
tears, those memories. give me everything. superman can’t take away bad memories
or tears or fears. forget superman. i just wish everything was great and i just
wish i could see you smile or at least know you are smiling. and if it takes a
hundred years of life and experiences and old age to make your acquaintance, if
just to make you smile, to make me smile, i’ll wait until forever. all to change
it to just angel…
on my computer, my favorite screensaver is the star field one. a billion stars a
few feet away. the only thing separating me and space is a computer screen. a
mundane obstacle. and i thought about how indescribable it’d be to pass through
that computer screen and fly. join me? it’d take away all those memories that
come back every time you’re not preoccupied. you wouldn’t have to fear anything.
no one could catch you. not even those memories. c’mon. fly with me…
seems like every time you get hurt, every time one more reason comes along to
cry, i care a little more. or maybe it just seems that way because of the
severity of distance between happy and sad (even though it’s not that simple).
like when that monster in monster clothing took away your peace for no good
reason. and that’s why i wanted you to be safe, no matter by what means (police,
friends, whatever). all i could do all day was worry about you and worry about
those gashes on your skin and think about you. and who knew that i could care
this much? i have changed because of you. like i hate the news more now because
of all the bad news. and i worry more about people i don’t know. people who
don’t know me. but it doesn’t matter because we all need saved every now and
then. i care more about saving people because of you. i care more because of
you…
let’s make a deal. every time someone hurts you, i’ll get hurt, too. every time
you get burnt, i get burnt, too. every single time you hurt, i’ll hurt, too.
every time you die a little, i’ll die a little, too. that way you’ll never be
alone even in your darkest nighttime. deal? and i say this only because i mean
it: thank you for everything…
sincerely,
me
ps--i love you.
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