CHAPTER NINE

"Zac, c’mon, its time to get up…"

Zac felt Taylor shaking him at eight am, and frowned, and slid deeper under the covers, wanting to be left alone.

"Zac, c’mon, we have to have breakfast and then we have to go to ITV studios…"

"I’m not going, leave me alone," Zac grumbled tiredly.

Memory of last night swept over him, leaving him feeling empty and used.

I let him touch me, Zac thought. How could I let him do that to me?! Zac fought back the need to cry desperately, not wanting his brothers to know what was wrong.

Taylor shoved Zac out of the bed roughly, and heard Zac make a soft thud on the floor as he landed. "Look, Zac, we know you aren’t feeling too good…but guaranteed once you take this stupid ValerginP40, you’ll be feeling as right as rain," Taylor said.

"Leave him alone, Tay," Isaac warned. "Let him sleep just now, we can come back for him after breakfast…and anyway, if you give him that stupid ValerginP40 he’ll fall asleep during the interview!"

"Ike, he’s fine. He always pulls through the day after, like us," Taylor grinned, he leaned over the bed to look down at Zac. "C’mon, Zac. Wakey Wakey," he called to Zac who was sprawled over the floor, covers half draped over him, hanging from the bed. Zac was still intent on sleeping. "PYSCHO BOY!" Taylor shoved Zac again. "Wake Up!"

"Piss off!" Zac kicked Taylor in the shoulder, if Taylor hadn’t moved it would have been his face.

"Okay, okay!" Taylor put his hands up in surrender. "Geez, what's your problem?"

"Look, I’m not in the mood for being poked and prodded and shoved around, okay?! Not by you or anybody." Zac sat up, his brown eyes were bloodshot. "Leave me alone or I’m gonna kick your head in."

"Okay, Zac….gee, sorry," Taylor leaned back and regained his balance surprised by Zac’s tone of voice.. "But you have to get up, if we don’t appear at ITV by nine, then they’re gonna put us on MTV news because we only did two songs at last nights concert. If we don’t show up today, they’re gonna think something is wrong."

Something is wrong, Zac thought. Some guy keeps getting personal with me, Tay, but I can’t tell you that.

Taylor seemed to sense Zac was thinking something, because he stared at Zac as if he had actually heard the thought.

"What?" Zac asked, staring at Taylor, feeling suddenly abrasive. Could Taylor read my mind, does he know something is going on?

"Zac…take it easy today…we don’t want another incident like last night," Taylor said.

Zac got up from the floor and began to make his way to the bathroom to go take another shower – five hundred showers couldn’t take away the dirty feeling he had from Don’s hands. "And we can’t have that, can we Tay? That would make the band look bad, wouldn’t it," Zac’s tone was bitter and unfeeling.

"Zac…what are you on…you know that’s not what I meant…" Taylor said, he sounded a little hurt that Zac would insinuate such a thing.

"Yeah, whatever, Tay," Zac muttered, and made his way for the bathroom door.

"Zac," Isaac said in a stern voice, he’d seen enough of Zac’s nasty attitude to know that something was wrong. Since yesterday at the breakfast table Zac had been considerably irritable. Now, Isaac had just about had enough. "What is with you? You know Tay is only worried," Isaac said, he walked over. "What's going on? Why is every time we even attempt to show you we’re worried, or try to make you feel better you blow us off?" Isaac put his hand on Zac's arm.

Instantly, that was what broke Zac’s mind, the touching, he couldn’t deal with it, even from his own brother. "Get away!" Zac didn’t know why he did it, all he knew was he couldn’t take the touch lightly. Zac punched Isaac square in the face, knocking Isaac back a couple of feet. Zac then proceeded to spin on his heel, shoot into the bathroom and lock the door behind him.

"ZAC!" came Taylor’s distressed cry. "What is with you?! What did you do that for?!"

Zac rubbed at his first – it had already begun to feel red hot raw.

"Zac! You’ve made him bleed! Get a first aid kit or something!" Taylor called.

Zac felt fear entering his every vein. It had brought him to this, feeling even his own brother was trying to molest him the same as Don had. He cradled his hurt fist in his other hand, he was close to hyperventilating.

"Zac! Will you open the door?!" Came Isaac’s voice, his voice was booming, it meant he was angry.

I’ve turned them against me. I turned my own brothers against me, Zac closed his eyes tightly.

"ZAC! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR OR I’M GONNA GET DAD!" Isaac warned loudly.

Zac bit his lip until it almost started to bleed, he realised Isaac wasn’t fooling around. It was rare that Isaac shouted this loudly with his brothers. Zac reached out and turned the lock, opened the door a crack and then rushed into the corner of the bathroom between the sink and the shower-stall, huddled there insecurely, he pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.

"Zac…" Isaac stepped into the bathroom, seeing Zac there in the corner, he paused. "Uh, Zac…I’m not gonna beat you up or anything…" Isaac’s voice had lost its hostility, he now seemed calm, but his lip was bleeding. "Why’d you hit me?!" he then asked more in a tone of shock than anything else.

"You kept bugging me!" Zac whined at Isaac.

"Zac…you're going mental, I swear it," Isaac walked over to the sink turned on the cold water tap, and leaned over, rinsing his mouth out, spitting out blood. "You didn’t have to punch me…"

I punched you because you touched me and I didn’t want to be touched, Zac thought. But I can’t tell you that, Ike…I want to tell you but I can’t.

Taylor stepped in and glanced at Zac. "What are you huddled up in the corner for?" he asked curiously.

"No reason," Zac uttered, he began pulling himself up.

"Here," Taylor offered his hand to help Zac up, but Zac shoved it away.

"I can get up myself thank you very much," Zac muttered.

"Okay, okay," Taylor rolled his eyes. "Geez, why are you so hostile towards us these days?"

"If you’d just leave me alone to get on with things maybe I wouldn’t need to be," Zac sighed. "Look, I want to have a shower, so if you mind…" he motioned to the door.

"Zac…you had a shower last night," Isaac stated.

"I want another one…" Zac said.

"Zac, we really don’t have the time," Taylor sighed.

"Look, I’m sweaty and smelly, I need a shower!" Zac growled. "Now let me take a shower or I’m not going anywhere and I mean it!"

Isaac and Taylor shook their heads and left the bathroom.

Zac slammed the door shut, locked it, and turned the hot water on in the shower, he stripped off his night-clothes and he slipped under the hot water, scrubbing at his skin until it looked almost red raw. Once he was convinced he was clean – but however not clean enough – he got out, pulled a towel around himself and headed into the bedroom, Taylor and Isaac were still waiting, they seemed annoyed.

"Zac, just hurry up, we’re losing precious time, and I really need something to eat," Taylor complained.

"No wonder," Zac gave Taylor a glanced. "You look practically anorexic," he began digging stuff out of a drawer, found one of Taylor’s T-shirts, and a pair of pants, then went back to the bathroom to get changed.

"Why is he going in there to get changed?" Taylor asked in a half whisper when Zac closed the bathroom door. "He usually dresses in here…"

"I have no idea," Isaac shrugged. "Probably just that getting older stage…you were like that for a while…"

"Yeah, but I wasn’t acting as weird as he is lately."