Horrors Unspoken
by Juliet Benson
NARRATOR: Three years ago we sent our Newsies into the streets of Manhattan to document their journey. They disappeared without a trace. A year ago, this video (which wasn’t invented at the time, but they somehow managed to make due) was found.
fade out into
OPENING SCENE:
the camera is on, and being fussed over by the Newsies David, Kid Blink, Racetrack, Mush, and, of course, Jack. the picture is shaky and unfocused, but the viewers are able to pick out the Newsies Lodging House sign dimly lit neon green in the background
Jack: OK, OK! Enough of this already. I’m the leader, I’ll handle the camera.
the camera is jarred terribly, and the sky is spinning around in a dizzying arch before coming to rest at what is apparently Jack’s view of the world. the outlook is noticeably more rosy than it was before. the newsies come into view, all wearing uniforms looking suspiciously like stolen Boy Scout outfits freshly hung out to dry on the clothesline.
Jack: All right, are we all set, then?
Racetrack: All set, boss.
Jack: OK, guys. Let’s move out!
the camera begins to bounce with Jack’s footsteps. the people present day watching the movie throw up from motion sickness. the Newsies strut down the streets of New York, talking as they go.
Jack: And this building was constructed in… Um, when Davey?
David: 1209.
Jack: That’s right folks. It’s a pretty old building. Lots of people like old buildings. Some people even study old buildings. But we don’t, and we’re bored, so we’re moving on.
the Newsies head to the more… *cough* adult section of New York.
Jack: OK! Now we’re going to have some fun!
Newsies: Yeah!
David: Wait!
Newsies: *sigh grumble*
David: Guys, I know this video isn’t meant for kids, but it is only PG-13. Don’t you think we’d better use a little discernment?
all the newsies look at their shoes
David: Besides, we’re wearing Boy Scout uniforms
all newsies solemnly make the Boy Scout sign
Jack: Thanks for setting us straight, Davey.
David: Was that sarcasm, Jack?
Jack: You know I never practice anything I can’t spell, David.
David: Funny, you somehow manage to l-i-v-e.
Newsies: Ooooh!
Jack looks perplexed, and is working hard on figuring out how this is an insult
Kid Blink: Let’s get moving guys, these uniforms are terribly revealing.
Racetrack: I’m with him on that one. Save your tiff for later.
Mush: Did you guys hear something?
all the newsies break out into hysterical laughter.
Racetrack: Ha ha!
wiping tears from his eyes
Racetrack: That’s a good one, Mush!
Mush: No, you guys, I really hear something!
Blink: You’d think this was a horror flick or something!
bach’s fugue in F major plays
Act II
our newsies are now hanging around the Statue of Liberty, eating outrageously expensive ice cream
Jack: I should have gone with strawberry.
Mush: Ew… I feel sick.
Racetrack: Um, Mush, maybe you’d better stand over there.
Kid Blink: Did anyone see that?
newsies break out into laughter
Blink: Guuuys!
suddenly, David gasps
David: Look at this, everyone!
he picks up a box from the ground. the newsies all crowd around him
David: It’s a severed Barbie Doll ©!
Jack: Is Barbie invented yet?
all newsies look at David
David: Why do you guys always ask me?!
Mush: Aauuuuuuuuuuuggggh!
Newsies: Aauuuuuuuuuuuggggh!
Jack: Great Scott! It’s…
Newsies: The New York Witch!
Jasmine: Aladdin? Where are you, you yellow-bellied coward?
Aladdin: You guys gotta help me! She won’t leave me alone!
the camera, badly shaking, focuses on Jasmine, who fixes a death-ray glare on our boys. she advances
Newsies and Aladdin: Aauuuuuuuuuuugghh!
the camera falls to the ground and the screen goes black
The End
credits roll
Jack runs by, Jasmine following, screaming after him. Jack wears a look of total panic
This film is brought to you from the abyss that is Juliet’s mind. Thanks to our sponsorer, Alley Kat Toys. "Get a toy that’s meant for you and your trash!"