Disclaimer and Introduction!

None of these characters, save Cat, are mine. I jist used them because I love the movie Newsies and had a cool (I think anyway) idea for a fan-fic story. If ya like it please tell me, it will help me to write more. Anyway, I know the "New goil newsie" story has been done to death but this one has a bit of a twist and it’s based on a poem (sort of) so ya might find it different and interesting. I hope so anyway!

If

By Cat

Epilogue

My mother and I were poor. We’s lived together along wid my baby brothah, Anthony, in a tiny storage cellar underneath a large factory. I nevah figured out what the factory made, but it wud noisey. Kept Anthony up all night and us as well, wat wid his crying and screaming. Poor kid was so tired dat least once a day he’d jist fall into a deep sleep no matter wat da noise level! Nothing could wake him, save shaken ‘im!

Anyways, we didn’t get much ta eat and wat little we did get I pursuaded my mother to take, told her I’d already eaten or sometin. Guess it was the cold dat finally took her, nevah had heat and only a few worn out blankets to huddle in during da coldest months. Mother died during the winter, leavin me ‘lone wid Anthony.

I’s knew I’s couldn’t care fer ‘im. Wat? Me, a teenage orphan wid no job nor money, ta care fer a babe? Man did I cry when I left ‘im. Thought my heart would break. But I knew dat da orphanage would take better care dan I could!

Now ya’d tink I’d be all sad and weepy, losing my mother and brothah. And I were sad. But I’s learned long time ago dat bein all weapy nevah solved nuttin. So’s I left dat awful city, and traveled to New Yawk! I’s only heard a da place, but man, it was as big as dey say it was!

I’d always dressed as a boy, short black hair, black cap and da brown pants and greenish-brown shirt. But in New Yawk I was extwa careful. Didin wan anybody gettin ideas, ya’se see.

My mudda left me sometin though. Were’nt nuddin you’se could touch or hold. It was a poem. A poem? You’se say. wat’s so good bouts dat? Well, nuttin maybe. But dan again, maybe sometin. It was long, but I’s repeated it ovah an ovah all dose cold nights after I’s gave little Tony up. And in some strange way it made me feel warm. Kinda cozy like.

Chapter One

If ya can keep you’se head when all ‘bout ya

Dey’re losing dere’s an blamin it on ya...

Dat’s da first ting dat entered my head when I’s saw how noisey and busy New Yawk was. Da first lines to da poem my mudda told me’s. People running heyar and dere, nevah stopin nor looking. I wondered how they didn’t run into eachother.

Second ting I though ‘bout when I got dere was dat I’d have da find some way a gettin money fer food and such. I figured I’d do wat I did befere. You’se knows. Helpin dem rich folks by litening dere lowd a bit. Nabbin dere bucket. Pickipocketing even. So’s I started out toward wat I’s though to be down town area. I survey’d da place and saw da finally dressed peopwle strollin long. So’s I start out’s inconspiculous like, whisplin softly. Not lookin dem in de eye or nuttin.

Lader dat morning I got a bit of a load, nuff fer, say lunch or somtin. Da problem is I down know were’s I can howk stuff or nuddin. Back home I’s had contacts, buyers. Heya all I could’s steal was money. Anybody’d take dat.

All’s day I notise dem boys sellin papes. I down rob dem or nuddin ‘cause dat against my strict code. See’s I’s not like dem odder pickipockets. Dem’s pick anybody or ting dey can’s get away wit. I’s nevah go fer da peopwle like me. Dey ain’t got nuddin an if dey do chances are dey need it mowe den me. An I done go fer da kids. Not da kids like me anyway. Da rich ones, ya, dey desewve it, but not da one’s makin an honest livin.

Anyways, I see dem all day, wanderin round, sellin dere papes. And I’s woinders. How’s da pay? Not dat I’m unhappy wid my wowk. But it’d be nice ta not look ovah you’se showlder every minute ‘specting da bulls ta be afta ya.

Well’s I was jist wonderin howse I’s was gonna get ta know a newsie and find out a bit moire whens I hears a comotion behind me.

Toining around I sees some big lugs wit clubs dragin a bit-of-a-boy into an alleyway. The kid had dropped ‘is papes all over da sidewalk. From da wey he’s stuggling I’s figure he’s not too happy ‘bout the situioation. So’s I head on over ta see wat’s goin on.

Da two big lug’s got da liddle guy cornoired. Ya gotta give it to im doe, ifin he wad scared ‘e didn’t show it. His jaw was clenched and his brown eyes narrowed. De only way ta tell ‘e was scared was by da way ‘is lip kept twitchin. Dat and da way his hair been messed up and ‘is hat knocked off.

"Well, shrimp." One a da guys said in a mockin voice. Dey one wid da mustache was movin in closer, hittin ‘is club in ‘is left hand. "How big and strong do ya feel now?" Da odder one laughed and dey moved in even closer.

I glanced round fer a weapon. Sure, I could take dem both widdout one, but I couldn’t guarointy det da little guy wouldn’t get hoirt. Boit I don’t see nuddin. Guess I’ll jist have ta chance dis one.

Da liddle guy saw me comin but I puts a finger to my lip ta tell im ta be quiet ‘bout it. He wud preddy sharp ‘cause ‘e didn’t give me away at all. Da foyst clue da two guys had dat I’s there wuds when I drove my foist a direct hit to da mustache guy’s head. He stumbled as much wid pain as surproise, easily lettin me grab his club and I toirned to da odder guy. Da kid weren’t jist sittin dere ider. He had kicked da big guy in da groin and now wud clining to da guys neck.

Impressed, I gave da guy a good whack on da back a da head and down ‘e fell. Da boy let go and toirned ta look at me. Suddenly his eye’s got big and ‘e shouted, "Behind you’se!"

Widout tinking I raised da club and toirned, knocking da guy straight in da ‘ead fer da second time. He went down like a don a bricks.

Da kid was watchin me now. Eye’s wide. "Get out a ‘ere!" I told ‘im. Raising my weapon threateningly. ‘e didn’t need a second invitation, jist toirned and ran. I threw the club down and shook my head.

I didn’t want no kid around when da bulls show, like dey always do. I couldn’t help tinking dat da kid didn’t even say "Tanks". Den I remember dat I scared im off. I wonder why I’d done dat, after all I’s wanted ta talk ta im. After slipping out into da street I realize why. Foyst, ‘e looked freaked outa ‘is mind when ‘e saw me knock the two guys out. Second, I’s not used ta talking ta people widout having an alternative motive, dis kid was no exception.

So’s I headed around ta find someplace ta bed down fer da night. I ended up sleepin at da end of da darkest alley I could find. Dark and cold. Befere sleeping I repeated my mudda’s poem in my mind. Holdin back tears I pictiored liddle Antony in my mind. Den I let my mind wander and I found myself wondering why da big guys were pickin on da little scrub. I drifted off, slowly.

Chapter Two

Da next moirning as I strolled ‘round lookin fer potential payoffs, I noticed sometin. Now I ain’t no flat. I’ve been a pickipocket fer many years.I’m not sayin I exactly like da job, but I ain’t got nuddin else to do, have I? I caint get a job workin too close ta nobody cause dey might find out I’s a goyle. Anyways, I know when I’m bein followed. And I was bein followed, and watched. It couldn’t be anyone I knew from back home. They didn’t know I was here, less day followed me. Maybe dey did, what wid da big comosion dat happened before I left. I wondered, feeling the hair go up on da back of my neck.

Wid being watched and all I couldn’t practise my proffesion at all. Every time I went to snag a bucket, (Dat’s pickapocket fer all you’se who don’t speak theivescant) I felt eyes boring into da back of my head. I weren’t about ta do sometin illegal wit people watching. Finally, a bit miffed and more dan a bit irratated at whoever was spying, I headed in ta Tibby’s ta spend some ‘a da money I earned yesterday on a lunch.

I’s hadn’t even taken a bite ‘a my sandwitch when da door opened and in walked tree peoples. Da first one in was short, he wore a vest and da nice lookin shirt. I could see da dirt on it doe, and da patches. Ta me ‘e looked Italian, doe I’ve been known ta be wrong. Da second guy had a patch over ‘is eye and wore a brown hat. Da kind I’d seen Newsies wear. In fact, if I remembered right I tink I saw dat guy selling papes da day befere. Da tird guy was obviously in charge. E had a red bandana round ‘is neck, and a cowboy hat hanging down his back. Wit a nod he sent da two odder boy’s to a table on de odder side a da room. Den he walked over to mine.

As soon as I felt dose eye’s bore inta me, I knew dey were da same ones as been watchin me all morning. At foist I was mad. How dare ‘e come in here and how dare ‘e spy on me in de foist place!

He stepped over ta my table. I felt ‘im standing dere. I stirred my coiffee witout lookin up. Den, when I knew ‘e was almost uncomfertable standin dere witout being acnoiledged, I said ta im,

"Ya going ta sit down and tawk, or jist have you’se boys follow me round some more di afternoon?" in a moderately polite and very cold voice. There was a rustle, den ‘e sat down across from me.

I dont know what I’s expected when I’s looked up. Maybe some anger, or at least sometin dat would explain da way ‘e followed me. But no. Dere was no malice in dat dere face. In fact, wen I met ‘is eyes, I found almost a twinkle of amusement. My foist reaction was ta be insulted. He’s makin fun ‘a me. I taught agrily.

"You’se knew round here, aincha?" ‘e asked, eye’s briefly drifting ta ‘is buddies sittin in da corner. Den back ta me. Wit out answerin I nodded. Den, ta show I wasnt intimoidated, I took a sip a coiffee.

"My name’s Jack Kelly." His voice was suprisingly friendly. I was almost caught off guoird. "I jis want ta tank youse fer what youse done fer Les yesterday." So dat was it! ‘e was a friend of da little scrub I helped yesterday. "Look, if dere’s anytin I can do fer youse, jist let me know."

Fer a second I was silent. ‘e didn’t seem ta be makin fun ‘a me. Witout warning I found meself smiling. Dere was sometin about dis guy dat made ya feel like ya already knew ‘im. Da little voice in da back ‘a my head told me ta be careful doe. So’s I played it careful.

"Youse can call off da guys watchin me." I told ‘im, nodding toward ‘is gang in da corner. Den I swear I’s saw ‘im blush! Imagine! ‘dis guy blushing!

"Sorry bout dat." He said, his eyes suddenly busy studyin my sandwitch. "But we ‘ad ta make sure dat youse was on our side." Then, as suddenly as it had come, da embarressdment dissapeared. It was replaced wit a grin. Boyishly charming. "Les said youse ‘as waved a stick at ‘im yesterday."

Now it was my toirn ta be embarrased. "Da kid looked like ‘e was plannin on stickin ‘ound fer da bulls ta show up." I told ‘im, a bit harsher dan I meant ta cover up my embarrassedment. Jack sighed and shook ‘is head. Obviously recognizing dis as truth.

Den, remembering what ‘e had said oilier, "And dere is one ting youse can do fer me." He looked up, curiously. "Do ya happened ta know if dere be a spot open fer a new Newsie?" He grinned and I gave him a small smile. I doint know why but I liked dis guy, an if ‘e could gert me wark den why try ta be ‘is enemy?

"I tink dat can be arainged." He told me, eyes twinkling. "Racetrack! Youse guys get youse butts over here." Dey appeared as if by magic at our table. Obviosly been waiting fer dat invitation a while.

"Dis ‘ere is-" Den ‘e paused. "I’s fergot ta ask youse name!" He laughed. Slighlty embarrassed, I told ‘im,

"Cat." simply.I had been called dat a long time ago by my friends ‘cause my eyes were green wit yellow specks dat almost glowed in da moonlight. He nodded, den pointed at da boy dat I taught might be Italian.

"Cat, I’d like youse ta meet Racetrack." The boy, Racetrack nodded at me. Then, wit a mischievious grin asked,

"I got tis real hot tip on a black ‘orse at da track. All’s I needs is fer someone ta spot me a couple a bucks. What ya say? Come on dere, be a pal." Da guy wit da patched gave Racetrack a slap on da back. Almost witout tinking I replied,

"Ta do dat I’d need some coiladeroile. How ‘bout dat nice gold watch in dat dere pocket a youse?" I’d seen ‘im take it out a couple times ta check da time. Either tat or hint ta Jack ‘e was takin too long.

Everybody laughed, I felt a bit more comfertable and Jack pointed ta da guy in da patch. "Dat dere’s Kid Blink. Fer obvious reasons." Kid Blink nodded at me. I nodded back, not wantin ta get too friendly wit dese peoples befere I knew dem. Den we’s all sat down ta eat some lunch.

"Tis afternoon I’m gonna teach youse ta sell papes!" Jack boasted ta everyone. Racetrack interviened,

"Youse mean youse still gots some? I sold all mine an hour ago!" He grinned at Jack’s expense den gave Jack a knock on da shoulder.

"I was only kiddin Jacky-boy." He turned ta me. "Jack here is da best Newsie in all ‘a New Yark. Maybe even da world." He told me proudly. Den made as if ta whisper, "But dont tell Spot I’s said so." Dey laughed and I wondered who dis Spot was.

"Loirne from ‘im and your loirning from da best." Kid Blink murmered ‘is agreement. Jack didn’t try ta deny it, jist took a big bite a ‘is sandwitch. I did the same.

Chapter Three

"Da trick." e’ told me as we stood on a corner, papes in hand, lunch well over. "Is ta make da truth jist a bit better." He held up a pape. "Take dis one fer example. ‘Mayor on Third Trip to State Capital.’" Kid Blink had left ta sell in ‘is own corner ‘a New Yark, so’s it was jist Racetrack, meself, and Jack.

A man in a business suit walked towards us and Jack held up da pape and yelled loudly, "Mayor in car reck tird time during ‘is trip to da State Capital!" Da man bought da pape and walked away.

"Dat’s lyin." I stated. Race looked at me curiously. "Not dat I have anytin gainst dat." We both grinned. As a women and child approached, Race held a pape and yelled at da top of ‘is lungs,

"Mayor kidnapped afta major car wreck.! Government involvement suspected!" Da women stopped and bought da pape. Jeez, I taught, dis is easy.

As soon as another guy came near us I’s grabbed a pape from Jack and held it aloft. "Mayor dissapeared afta secret meetin wit State! Government evidoince found in overturned car!" Two men bought papes off a me and I couldn’t help grinning proudly at Jack and Race.

"Kid’s a natural!" Jack congratulated me wit a whack on da shoulder. He sounded like ‘e really meant it, and it made me feels good. Don’t get too attached, da voice in my head said.

Den Jack handed me some more papes. Not ta be outdone, Racetrack shouted at da next poison,

"Mayor found tryin ‘a smuggle stollen good’s outta da state! Capitalism and undergwound agents blaimed!" Jack and I both stared at Race, as ‘e happily sold three papes. He turned to me, the look on ‘is face clearly said, ‘betcha cain’t do betta!’ Happy ta prove ‘im wrong I focussed on a couple walking hand in hand, not noticing Jack’s large grin. ‘e was enjoying dis imensly.

"Da Mayor found dead in car whiles Alien impoisentates ‘im! Government overtaken wit aliens! Anarchy inflicted on war torn country!!" A swarm of people suddenly’s was around me. Afta selling alls Jack had we squirmed outta da crowd.

"Jeez! I’s told ya ta improve da truth! Not tell da world it was bein invaded!" Jack told me, "We’s betta leave ‘fere dey find out dere ain’t no aliens." I agreed and so did Race, still laughing under ‘is breath bout me aliens.

"Dat was a classic!" ‘e told me. "Dem guys neva knew what ‘it im!" I laughed wit ‘em. Wondering how Jack could sell at dat corner again once everyboty found out dere weren’t no aliens. Jack didn’t seem fased so I decided not to worry neither. I was happy fer da foirst time in a whiles. I was wit friends, leastwise I taught of dem as friends, even if I’s didn’t trust dem completely. I didin’t know wat dey taught of me, but dey seemed happy ta be in my company, and dat was enough fer me. fer a while I had even fergotten bout Tony.

Sometin else had happened too. While’st in dat crowd I hadn’t once grabbed a wallet or da watch. Dey were dere fer da pickin, but somehow I didn’t feel da urge ta steal dem. Now, I ain’t against stealin, cause dey got lot’s and what’s it ta dem if dey share, right? But I knows it’s hard on de neck when ya gotta check ta see if ya bein followed every block. Dis time I didn’t look back once. It was nice.

"Come on." Jack told us. "I’s wants da rest a da guys ta meet youse." Feeling slightly honoured, yet slighty uncomfertable too, I followed. What had I gotten myself into? I taught, two guys is nice but’s a whole gaggle? Race must a noticed I looked a bit worried cause he patted me on da shoulder and said,

"Don’t worry. Youse ok wit Jack, youse ok wit everybody." Dat made me feel a bit better. but not totally. What would happen if dey found out I’s a goyle?

We’s reached da bording house, and went inside. No matter how much I tried ta tell myself it was ok, I felt woirried. I hadn’t spent much time wit peoples my own age. Back wheres I used ta live I spent most a my time scrounging fer food or money. I didn’t have much time fer soicializing.

Though I felt at ease wit Jack and Race I couldn’t shake da feeling dat I should be on my own. Dat I shouldn’t trust nobody. I guess it was da old instinct. ‘If youse got sometin ta hide den don’t hide it around a lot of people." my muda used ta say. I didn’t want nobody findings out I was a goyle. I like Jack and Race, but dis gaggle ‘a guys I was goin ta meet? Dey didn’t know me at all. Dey wouldn’t trust me and I wouldn’t trust dem. I hated bein in situations like dis.

Chapter Four

If youse can trust yourself when all men doubt ya,

But make allowances fer dere doubting too,

Wit out warning da lines from da poem my mudda taught me bounced inta my head. Yeah, of course I can turst myself, dat’s da only poison I can trust. An I cain make allowances fer dere mistrust cause dey don’t know me an I don’t know dem.

"But ya don’t want ta trust dem!" I muttered angrily to myself. "It’s bad enoiugh youse gone and got da trust a dese two guys!" fer a minute I wished I hadn’t been so friendly wit Race and Jack. How could I lay down my defenses so fast? I wondoired to meself.

"Comin?" Jack was standing wit da door open, and Race was studyin me wit a strange expression. I realoised I had been daydreaming. With a sigh I followed dem in. Dere was no toirning back now. I had let meself become friends wit two Newsies. I would just have ta be careful, dat’s all.

Befere I knew it Jack had introduced me ta a room full ‘a boys all Newsies. Dere were short and tall ones, fat and thin ones. One even had a crutch. As soon as Jack told dem I was da one who saved Les dey treated me like family.

If you can tawk wit crowds and keep youses virtue,

I saw Kid Blink dere as well, he waved and introduced me ta a guy named Boots. We’se talked fer a moment den someone asked,

"Want ta play poker, Cat?" Others invited dere invitations wit what dey were doin. I saw Race head over to da poker game so’s I followed.

"Ya like poker, Cat?" Race asked, a bit surprised. I jist nodded. My mudda and I used ta play ta pass da time on ta really cold nights when ya couldn’t sleep. I was dealt a hand and da game began.

"It’s about time!" Race exclaimed, pickin up ‘is winnings. We had played three games, two of which I’d won. ‘e was good doe and I had ta wark hawd ta beat ‘im. Da odder guys folded usually soon after dey were dealt. I wondered about dis, till I realized dey just liked bein in sometin together, specially wit Race.

Da younger kid’s we was playin wit looked up ta Race. I could tell. Dey liked bein round ‘im cause he always seemed ta be able ta make em laugh. But as I watched I realized it was more den dat. When da boy called Boots folded foist, Race joked wit ‘im and got ‘im ta laugh at himself. ‘e gave compliments out easily and sounded like ‘e ment dem. Instead ‘a makin fun a da boys he made fun ‘a everyone instead. Dis made da boys feel included in sometin, even if it was sometin dey done wrong.

"Hey Newsies!" Jack’s voice could suddenly be heard above da din. "We’s got papes ta sell tamorra. So what do ya say we get some shut eye, eh?" Dere were some groans but da little ‘uns looked almost happy ta have an excuse ta go ta sleep.

"Hey Cat." Race said, collecting up da cards. "Youse got a place ta stay? Cause if ya don’t dere is always an extra bed ‘ere. An da rent is good too." From da way ‘e said it I could tell ‘e wanted me ta stay. But I shook my head.

Dere was no way I could wash in da morning wit all dese guys here. An what if i accedently tawked in my sleep? Dat could be dissastoirous. "No. I’s got’s my own place, tanks." I told him, standing up.

He glanced around at da guys climbing inta bed. "Den in dat case, youse care ta have one more hand jist youse and me. I knows somewhere where we can play witout disturbing dese guy’s beauty sleep."

I hesitated jist long enough ta see Race’s almost hopeful face sag slightly wit unsurity. "Come on." He said, holdin out da deck ‘a cards. Finally I made my desicion. Wit my left hand I snagged da cards, and wit my right I pulled da ace outta Race’s sleeve. He grinned.

Chapter Five

"Youse play up here often?" I asked Race, as we sat on da roof a da bording house each wit a hand of cards. He nodded.

"Dis is da only place in New Yark wheres ya can be alone sometimes. Dat and it’s got an incroidable view!" I had ta agree wit dat one. Ya could see building tops and street fer miles and da stars....oh da stars! Day were beaoitiful. Hundoids and hundroids of dem.

"So, Cat. Where’s ya move ‘ere from?" He asked, picken a card up from da pile and depositing one down as well. I was immediately on guoird.

"Did Jack asked ya ta find out?" Without waiting fer an answer I continoid, "Cause if he did I’m gonna tell ‘im wheres he can shove ‘is questions!" Da taught of Jack using Race ta find out more about me make my blood boil.

Race looked up in surprise. "Jack? Na, if he wanted ta know he’d ‘a asked youse." He didn’t sound angry dat I’d accused Jack doe. If dere was one ting ya could say fer Race, it was dat he shoure had an even temper.

"Like ‘e did when ‘e had me followed?" I asked, takin my turn. Race glanced at my face, ta see if I was angry. I kept my face a mask, den met his eyes.

"Dat’s cause we didnt know ya." Race explained, not looking away. "He’d never do dat now." Den he looked at his cards, "How did ya know it was him anyway?" he asked curiously.

I shrugged, "Let’s jist say it’s happened befere." I told ‘im. I didn’t want ta go into it. He took da hint and didn’t ask me ta explain. Wanting ta keep da convoisation going but not about me, I asked him, "So’s youse lived here all your life den?" He shook his head.

"Sorta. I’s lived in an orphanoige fers a while ‘fer Jack sprung me. Den I’s lived here." He took another turn. I froze. Da woird ‘Orphanage’ hit me like a ton ‘a bricks. My mind raced ta da memories of leaving Tony on da doorstep and running. I felt ashamed dat I couldn’t keep ‘im. And I missed ‘em sometin awfoil. It was like dere was a whole were ‘e used ta be.

Trying ta sound casual I asked him, "Day treat ya all right in da orphanoige and everytin?" I watched him carefully. He glanced at me,

"Yeah, cept fer havin ta learn all dose Bible quotes and prayoirs. Dey fed me good and nevah beat me, if dat’s what ya mean." From da way he answered I knew dat he told da truth, and I sighed wit relief. At least I knew Tony was getting treated good.

Race played down his hand triumphantly, tree tens. I smiled as I put down my four jacks. ‘e scowled at da cards. "Youse jist lucky, dats all." He picked up da cards, ranting while shuffling.

"I’s gots a string a bad luck too lately! Lost two games ta Mush yesterday! Imagoine! Me! Anthony RaceTrack Higgins losin not one, buts two ta Mush!" He looked at me, unbelief on ‘is face. I doint know what exactly my face was doing, but his changed as soon as ‘e saw it.

"What’s wrong, Cat?" He asked, concern writtin all over. I’s tried ta laugh ta show it was ok but it came out as more of a sob. He stepped ferward but I stepped back and away. I tried ta hide da feelings bubblin in me, but I don’t tink I did too well.

Anthony? His name was Anthony? When ‘e said dat I swear I saw my baby brother dere, crying and fussin like he did. And I heard sometin, a voice. It was my mudda’s. She was tellin him not ta cry, dey’d be alright soon. I’d only left my brudder at da orphanoige a couple a weeks afere I’d left fer here, but it seemed dat I hadn’t seen im in years. I wished my brudda were here, I wished I coulda held im and told im everytin was going ta be alright.

Wit out warning I felt sometin salty in my mouth. Tears. Ashamed and confused I turned away from Race quickly. "Cat? What is it?" He asked again, clearly worried. I couldn’t tell im so’s I jist muttered,

"Nuddin, I’m jist tired, dat’s all." I handed ‘im his cards and toirned around. Memories bombarded me witout warning and I almost stumbled. My mudda’s hand smoothing my hair, or da way she sang me ta sleep. Anthony’s bubbly giggle when ya tickled im. It all seemed so far away, and I felt so alone.

Without another word I tok off running fer da fireescape dat connected ta da roof. The cold metal stung my hand as I ran down the stairs as fast as I could, Race’s voice above shouted my name.

I didn’t even stop ta tell im I’d see im tamorrow. Coward, the voice in my head told me. Coward. I ran and ran, den, when I couldn’t catch my breath even one last time and da tears blinded me so bad I was stumbling, I slid ta da ground next ta a tall building and cried deep in da dark shadows.

What was I gonna do? I had ta make a decision, either ta trust da Newsies or not ta trust dem and leave. I liked Jack and Race. Dat was da truth. But if I told dem da whole truth, bout my brudder and about I’s being a goyle and all....would dey still be my friends? I’d only known dese guys a day, fer heavoins sakes! If I tell dem I’m a goyle dey’d ditch me witout a second taught. No, da voice in my head corrected me, youse don’t know dem well but ya know dem better dan dat.

I felt cold and I shivered. I realized my hand was getting sore, so I unclutched it and found da money I’d won from Race still in it. What was I going ta do? If I went back den I’d have ta lie ta dem all da time. If I didn’t den I’d feel...lonely. "Mudda, help me." I whispered ta da wind.

If youse can wait and not be tired of waitin,

Da words seemed ta materialize in my head. Da poem. Since my mudda died I’s felt empty. But wen I finally figured out dat I couldn’t keep liddle Tony, it hurt so bad. I realized dat I’d been waiting. Waiting fer’s a miracle ta happen so’s I could go back ta da way tings were.

"But it ain’t gonna happen," I whispered, "dere ain’t no miracle out dere dat can fix dis." A tear spilled down my cheek. I wiped it away impatiently. "Getting weepy never solved nuddin." I scolded myself. "I’ve been waitin fer sometin dat would neveh happen, so’s what am I waiting fer now?" I paused, letting da wind tell me. "A chance." I said in a normal voice, startled by how loud it sounded. "A chance ta be meself widout bein hoirt. And maybe dis is my chance. So’s I’ll wait." I told my mudda. "I’ll’s wait till I can be sure dey woint hate me when I tell dem."

Den I layed my head down in my arms and drifted off ta sleep, I could almost hear my mudda singing.

Chapter Six

It was early. I slipped outta da bording house and glanced around. Da boys weren’t out yet and afta my ‘talk’ wid Kloppman I sat down on da cobblestones jist outside da door and waited fer dem. I wud jist sittin dere when I noticed two guys coming near me.

I looked up and recognized da two lugs I’d beaten fer cornoiring da little scrub. Obviously dey recognized me too. "Hey! Ain’t ya da kid dat interuppted our liddle chat wid Les?" Da mustached one said. He sneered da word ‘Les’ and ‘kid’. I really hated bein called kid. It felt degrading.

Matching dere sneer and narroring my eyes I stood ta meet dem. I’d always been short, but I was a good four or five inches shorter dan dese guys. Both had an ugly look in dere eyes and neither looked like dey were ‘bout ta leave anytime soon. "Maybe ya guys fergot what I taught ya in da alley." I said in a cold voice. "Youse’es loosers."

Without warning da udder guy swung at me, luckily I’m pretty quick and I ducked so dat ‘e barely missed. As I rose da mustache guy was ready and ‘e connected a hit wid my gut. I doubled over, but managed ta swerve round da next two swings. I was a bit mad now, dese guys were askin fer it! With a sudden boirst of enoirgy I’s faked a punch at de guy closest ta me’s head, ‘e ducked and I kicked ‘im hard in da face. He yelled in pain and fell back.

Da udder guy closed in now, we circled eachudder. When ‘is back was to da building I suddenly charged at ‘im and wit all my strength pinned em ta da wall, knocking da breath outa ‘im. ‘e looked surprised and I gave ‘im a quick punch in da nose, bloody-ing it. He grabbed it and I jabbed ‘im in da stomache makin im sink ta da ground holdin his nose wid one hand and ‘is stomache wid da odder.

I tenderly touched my side where I’d been lugged and tried ta catch my breath. Without warning a tremendous ferce smashed into da side a my head, knockin me ta da ground and draggin a yell from me. Da pain caused spots ta dance a’fer my eyes. I tried ta get up, but wasn’t fast enough. Da guy I’d kicked now retoined da favoir, smashing his foot inta my side, sending waves of nausia over me. I tink I yelled again, I’m not shoire. I saw red ‘neath my closed eyes and heard da guy saying sometin but couldn’t understand what it was.

Den, as suddenly as it had started, da kicking stopped. Faintly I heard pounding footsteps and shouts. Den strong hands were liftin me from da ground and I felt myself leaning gainst sometin. I groaned as pain ripped trough my side and nausea almost engulfed me. I took deep breaths of da cool air and wen I tink I had the pain under a bit of control I opened my eyes.

"Cat! Cat!" A voice was yellin, and dere was a face in front of mine, do close I couldn’t disifer who’s it was. With another groan I tried ta focus my eyes. Den da face wuz gone and bright light stung in its place. I closed my eye’s briefly and when I opened dem dere was another face.

"Da guys." I began, sucking in my breath at da unexpected pain ‘a tawking. "Da ones dat did Les-" I felt my control begin ta slip and I tried ta hide da groan dat came from my lips.

"It’s ok, Cat." Da face said, "Dere’s gone. Da boys set after em like a bunch ‘a greyhounds at a race!" Da voice made my head fuzzy and through my eyelids I saw my baby brudder sittin dere in da box he slept in. Den I took a deep breath and pushed dat memory down. Dat was Race’s voice and face, noting ta do wid my family.

I still couldn’t see too clearly but tings were begining ta be clearer.

"Race?" I said, glad he was there. "Sorry ‘bout last night. I didn’t mean ta-" All da tawkin caused a sudden wave of pain ta hit me, and I closed my eyes. Licking my lips I tried ta hide da hoirt from my face but I wasn’t very good at it.

"Hey, Race! He ok?" Dat was definately Jack’s voice. He came nearer and I heard Race go over to ‘im. Inside my head da roar of pain was deafening. My head felt like it had a huge whole in it, and my side felt like liquid fire. But I’d been worse off befere and I didn’t want da guys ta tink I was a wimp. I gathered all da strength I had and once again opened my eyes. Dis time tings were much clearer.

Jack and Race stood a few feets away, tawking. At da sight a Race da memories came back agin but wid detoirmenation I pushed dem down.

Dere were ‘bout six udder boys standin round watching, and looking at me. I figured da rest were da ‘greyhounds’ Race had tawked about. fer da benifit of da guys watchin I ferced myself ta give a liddle smile. Den, mustering all da strength I had left, I pressed my back ‘gainst da building and used my one arm ta help myself up. Da udder arm I used ta gently cradle my bruised side.

Da ringing in my head got ten times worse, like I knew it would. But I licked my lips and blinked twice ta help da ringing go down a bit. Den I carefully felt me side, luckily I figoired dat nuddin was broken. I had gotten my rib broken befoire so’s I knew what it felt like, and dis wadden it.

"Uh, Cat? I dont tink youse should be doing dat." Race concernedly came over wit Jack on ‘is heels. "Dose guys smashed youse up real bad." His brow was furroiwed and Jack looked mad.

I held up my hand, "It’s ok." I told him, smiling even doe I taught I might trow up. "Dey didn’t do dat much. I’s jist bruised, dat’s all." He looked at Jack fer confermation. Jack came over ta my udderside.

"Youse sure? Youse dont looks so good." I nodded, gritting my teeth at da nausea it caused. Suddenly he broke inta a grin. "Da Delanty brudders are gonna get da soakin a dere life!" He said, knockin his fist inta da wall happily.

"Maybe we’s should get da doctor?" Race wud peering into my face and ‘e obviously didn’t like wad he saw. Ta tell da truth I was feeling a bit bedda but youse dont jist feel great afta getting booted in da side half a dozen times. My head was beginning ta clear and I didn’t feel da oirge ta trow up no more. Suddenly what Race said sank in.

"No!" I said louder dan I’s meant. "No doctor." I repeated a bit lower, looking Race in da eye, den toirning ta Jack. "I’m fine." Dey watched me fers a moment, den Jack nodded and toirned around.

"Alright’s everyone. Cat’s ok so’s ya better go get youse papes!" Dere was a general rise in da conversation noise level, den dey all left. Race wud still looking at me funny but I ignored it.

"Tawking ‘bout getting our’s papes. We’s better go ‘fere dere all gone!" I tried ta make my voice cheery. Steadying myself wid one hand on da wall, I took a step ferward. So far so good. My head had cleared alot so’s I would probably be ok ta wawk and not fall down.

Jack fell in beside me wid Race on da odder side. Sometin I hadn’t counted on doe was da jar dat went trough me every time my foot hit da cobblestones. Determand not ta show weakness in front of my friends I clentched my jaw and kept wawkin.

"Yo, Jack." Race said suddenly, "Yaw tink da boys got Oscar and Morris?" Jack jist shook is head.

"If dey didn’t den I’m gonna be real’s mad." He said, as we toirned da corner to da distribution center.

"Youse not da only one." I added, wawking up ta buy me’s papes. Dey laughed, but it weren’t as heartily as befere. Dey knew I meant it.

Chapter Seven

"How ya holdin out?" Surprised at da sudden intrusion inta my taughts I looked up ta see Race settin hisself down jist opposite me. I had sold da lot of my papes, den told Jack and Race I had ta do sometin whil’st Race sold da last few ‘a his. What I had done was go directly ta an alley and sit down fer’s an hour. I had a tremendous headache and it wud beginnin ta affect my vision. I had called a man in a suit, "Ma’me." much ta Jack and Race’s chagrin. Doe I saw dey were worried. Dey weren’t totally convinced dat I was alright afta da soakin I took dis morning. Ta tell da truth my side ached everytime I drew a breath.

More den da pain was da images dat kept comin up. Memories I’d banished a long time ago ta stop da hoirt. But I was stubboirn and every time sometin came up I took a deep breath and shoved it back down. It took awhile but I actually could tawk ta him and look at him widout finding myself close ta tears.

I wondoired briefly how Race had found me, den decided not ta ask unless it came up. Dere wud no point in stiring da coals or nuddin. "Fine." I told ‘im. "Ya finally sell all youse papes?" He smiled, and nodded.

"Dere wud a rush on dem soon after dey heard a fatal rash wus spreading." His voice wus serious but I could see da famous ‘RaceTrack’ sparkle in does eyes ‘a his. I laughed good humouredly. "So ya doin ok?" He asked again.

I nodded, "Ya, jist got a bit of a headache is all. Nuddin much." ‘e nodded.

"Yeah, dat happens." Da conversation lulled suddenly. I didn’t want ta say it hoirt more den I said it did, cause I knew he already knew. But he waddin about ta say nuddin eider. I tanked him silently.

"About last night." I began, lookin away. He held up his hand and started ta protest. "No." I told ‘im. "Youse desoirve an explanations. I’s ran out wid no reasoin." He shook ‘is head.

"Dere ain’t no explanation needed." He looked me straight in da eye. "We’s all gots our reason’s fer doing stuff and we’s dont need ta explain. We’s jist accept. Dat’s all." Da look in his eye wud so sincere.

I paused before answering, dere wud an unexpected lump in my troat. "Tanks." I said but it came out as a whisper almost. I’d nevah met anyone who’s didn’t want an explanation fer anytin and everytin or accepted me fer who’s I wuz.

Race jist grinned. "So, ya wanna head back ta Tibby’s so’s I can beat ya at Poker again?" I reached up ta swat ‘im on da head but ‘e ducked. Laughing we’s left da alley, me still tryin ta swat him.

"Dat’s not da way I remember it." I told him, as we headed towards Tibby’s.

"Look who’s here!" Jack exclaimed as I wawked in wid Race. Dere wud a buzz of chatter and a bunch ‘a da Newsies I’d met da night before came up ta me.

"How’s it rollin, Cat?"

"Did ya here? Da Delanchy brudder’s got away dis time! But we’ll get dem next time fersure!"

"Dey wish dey nevah picked on da Newsies!"

"Where ya been?"

"Taught ya’d spend all day sellin dem papes!"

Da comments rolled in and I felt overwhelmed. Dey all seemed glad ta see me. I answered as many as I could and saw da guys grin in response. A few patted me on da back, but stopped when dey saw me whince.

"Hey! Caint da guy even sit down ‘fore ya start gangin up on him?" Dat was Race, leadin me to a table in da corner. He shrugged off da people’s crowdin me so’s dey wouldn’t touch my side. It seemed ta be da only one empty, Newsies filled all da tables and da noise level wud excruciating. I sat down and looked around.

Dere were big and small Newsies all over. Dey were laughing and eatin and smacking each udder on da back. Da ting dat intruiged me was da way dey all got along. Like family almost.

"Youse sure had us woirried!" Crutchy had come over and gave my shoulder a pat. "Waken us all up wid a yellin." He smiled and I grinned.

"Heya Crutchy! What’s dis I hear ‘bout da Delanchy scum dissapearing on us?" Race asked, bringin some food over ta da table. Crutchy toirned ta him.

"Ya dey got a way. But next time.." He waved his crutch ta show what he meant. We all laughed friendly like. A few udder people came over ta tawk ta us.

"Race." I finally toirned ta him when it looked like everyone had gone back ta dere own tables. He looked up from his food.

"Yeah Cat?" I put down my fork.

"I didn’t even know da names ‘a da last few peoples dat come up ta me." My voice held curiousity. He put down his own fork and looked around.

"Dat’s what’s so great ‘bout da Newsies. If youse a Newsie den your part ‘a da family. Dey might not a known youse name eider," He shrugged. "Deise know youse a Newsie and dat’s enough for dem."

I looked around in wonder. I’d never been accepted like dis. Dey didn’t know nuddin bout me, not even my real name. But dey were willin ta accept me none da less. Den I taught of sometin. "Dont dey tink I’m an awfoil wimp fer gettin soaked?" I paused, "I mean, dat ain’t exactly sometin ta be proud ‘a." Worriedly I looked inta his eyes.

"A wimp?" He exclaimed. "Afta savin Les like dat?" He gave me a hard look den realized dat I wud serious. "Listen Cat." He began. "Does Dalanchy boys woulda made dog meat ‘a Les and not given a second taught. He’d probably still be recovering. If ya can say one ting for Oscar and Morris it’s dat dey dont do tings halfway." He paused. "Youse a hero fer helping him for one ting, specially since youse didn’t even know him. Da second ting is dat every Newsie in dis room has been soaked by does two or da bulls or da udder Newsies out ta town at one time or a nudder. Half didn’t get off half as good as youse."

I didn’t quite get what he was tellin me. He must ‘a realized it cause he sighed, den tried again. "Youse not only got away wid a few bruises, but youse managed ta break Morris’s nose and give Oscar a footprint on ‘is face. Dan’t aint easy, believe me, I tried." Finally I realized what he was tryin ta tell me.

"Youse mean dey figure dat I gave as good as I got and dat’s why dey don’t tink I’s was a wimp when I got soaked?" I was incredious.

He nodded, "Dat’s right." den went back to his eating. Geez, I taught. Dis certainly is one strange family. But I was beginning ta figure I liked it, even if I had only known deise guys fer a couple ‘a days. But I was far from trustin dem. Even da most nicest Newsies would turn on me if dey found out I had lied ta dem and dat I wud a goyle.

Chapter Eight

Da restaurant was cozy wit laughter and warmth. Delicious aroma’s floated trough da air as I watched Race and a bunch a guys playin Race’s favorite game, Poker. I wud sittin on da back of a chair behind Crutchy and a Newsie I didn’t know so well. I had been watching fer a while, least two games. But I was content jist ta see dem havin a good time. Sometin wus bothering me though. As Race played ‘is hand and scooped up da winnings I got up and tapped Crutchy on da shouldoir.

"Heya Crutchy. Can’s I have a woird wit ya?" He agreed and I led him ovah ta a table in da cornoir fer a sec. Fer a second I didn’t say nuddin. "Crutchy, dis may be outa place buts I was wondering why ya keep losing ta Race." He looked surprised.

"Gee, Cat. I don’t know what ya mean." I gave him a look, dat I usually resoirved fer people tryin ta pull da wool ovah my eyes.

"Come on, don’t kid a kiddah. Dere ain’t no way ya can deliberately trow away two straights in a row." He blushed slightly, I was worried I might have ovahstepped my boundries and I was prepared ta step back if needed.

"Well, Cat. I jist don’t tink dat Race would want ta play wid somebody who alway’s won. Dat’s all." He looked embarrased. I sighed,

"Crutchy. Last night I won four games ta his one. Do ya see him not wantin ta play wid me? Ya’ve known Race much longah den me. You know he woudn’t stop playin evan if he lost every game ‘e played. And ‘e probably would like a challange now and agoin." Crutchy loked up at me.

"Yeah!" He said, an idea dawning on ‘im. "Yeah! Tanks Cat!" Den, wid a smile ‘e walked back ovah ta da game. I smiled back. It felt nice ta help somebody wit sometin. Evan if it was jist a game.

Feeling a bit wary and wantin Jack’s approval fer what I’d jist done yet not wantin ta ask, I went ovah ta his table and slid inta da booth opposite him. He grinned at me, den took a sip ‘a his coffee.

Tryin ta strike up a conversation I say ta him, "So’s Les convinced I’m gonna come afta him wid a stick ifin he ever see’s me again?" Jack laughed,

"Naw, but ‘is mudder’s keepin him in wida cold." I don’t know exactly what I taught, maybe dat a requirement ta be a Newsie was not ta have a mudder or fadder or sometin. I guess it must have shown on my face, cause Jack went on. "Les is Davey’s brudder." He pointed ta da curly haired kid playing cards next ta Crutchy, his expression wasn’t happy as he glanced at Crutchy. I smiled ta myself. "Dere fadder lost ‘is job so’s dey both became Newsies."

Our conversation was interrupted by a distoirbed Race comin ovah. His brow was creased and he was biting down awfully hard on da cigar he was smokin. "What’s da matter, Race?" Jack asked, friendly.

Race paused, looked ovah his shouldah at da Poker game den back at us. "Crutchy jist beat me!" I couldn’t help but grin, den I saw Jack was too. Crutchy looked ovah at us, I winked at him, he joined our grinning.

Aftah we got ovah our grin fest Jack told me and da boys dat dey’d better get inta da bording house for dey closed da doors fer da night. Newsies filed out da door, still laughing and joking. Jack got up ta go, Race followed.

"You comin?" Jack asked, finishing his coffee in a gulp. I shook my head and looked away for a second.

"Naw, I got’s me own place. Tanks." Dey nodded and waved goodbye. I heard Race say sometin bout stoppin in on a friend afore heading home, Jack said he’d catch ‘im round. As dey left part of my mudder’s poem flashed inta my head.

Or being lied ‘bout, dont deal in lies

I shook my head, "What’dem I suppoised ta tell dem? Dere’s a nice doorway somewhere wit my name on it?" Da voice in da back of my head whispered, Youse know dat’s not da issue heya. "I can’t tell dem, not yet. I have ta be sure. Even miracles need certainty or dey can blow up in youse face. Besides, I’ve been waitin dis long, what’s more waiting?"

I sat in dat dere bench for a while, den aftah ‘bout half an hour or so I got up and left. I didn’t know where I was goin. Da street’s were beginnin ta get dark.

Suddenly sometin caught my eye. It flashed gold as I crossed ta pick it up, sometin I can nevah resist. I studied it fer a moment as it lay, cold in my hands. It was Race’s gold pocket watch.

Chapter Nine

My first taught was dat ‘e must have dropped it. Wit a shrug I slipped it inta a pocket and continued on my way. If I hadn’t looked down I would a nevah seen da hat. Dere was no mistaking it tough. It was Race’s too.

My taught’s raced, his hat and watch? Sometin’s not right here! Dat’s when I heard da noise.

I’ve heard screamin, and yelling and crying. But none of dem gave me shiver’s now froze my heart like da long and familair groan did as I hoird it come from da direction of da alleyway I was standing in front of. Maybe it was da taughts of my brudder dat had come unwanted as I taught ‘bout Race. Maybe da resemboince of da sound ta da crying my brudder used ta do late at night. But I tink it was jist da fact dat as soon as I hoird dat sound I knew it was Race and dat he wasn’t healty.

"Race?" I asked almost timidly, scared ta go inta da alley fer feya ‘a what I might find. And dere, lying on da ground next ta da brick building, was Race. His head lying in a pool of blood. His arm clutching his side so hard his knuckles were white. And his face, deah me, his face. I had ta take a deep breath ta stop from fallin ta hysterics. Some body had soaked Race good.

"Cat?" Race asked tryin ta lift his head but groaning again instead. His eyes fluttered open. "I tried ta hold dem off, I tried, I tried." He mumbled. "I tried." I knelt down next ta him and took his head in my hands. What was I gonna do?

"Can youse walk, Race?" I asked, knowing da answer but wantin ta say anytin ta stop dis pain dat was growin in my chest.

"Youse gotta leave." Race’s eyes were open now, and dey were staring straight at me. "Youse gotta leave!" He insisted.

"Why?" I whispered, fearin da answer. He licked his lips ‘afore answerin.

What he said caused my already icy chest ta grow evahn colda. "Youse gotta go afore dey come back. Dey’s bringin da bulls cause dey say youse stole some stuff. Dey say da bulls ‘a been watchin fer youse and dey-" He stopped here and lapsed inta silence, broken by his laboured breathin.

My taughts were a wirl. "Damn!" Was da foirst one. Tears almost stung my eyes but I’s choked dem back. "I shoulda known da bulls woulda been aftah me wit dat big ta-do back home. Dey’ll recognoise me in a second if dey see me. And if dey see me wit da Newsies!" I drew in a breath. "I should nevah a come heya! All’s I bring dem is trouble." Kickin myself fer everytin I toirned my mind back ta Race.

Should I leave ‘im and run back ta da bordin house ta get Jack? What if da bulls and da one’s a did this ta him come back? I couldn’t leave him. "Dese guys hoilped me when’s I got hoirt, dey treated me like family and dey didn’t evahn know me." With a new resolve I reached down and lefted Race ta a sittin position. He groaned and I made shoire ta watch da spots on ‘is clothes dat had blood on dem.

When I finally got him standing, well, half leaning on me, he muttered sometin. "Tanks, Cat. Tanks fer not leavin me." My heart nearly boirst wid sadness.

"I cain’t leave family lyin ‘round. Now’s can I?" I said, he smiled softly. Den we began da slow and painful journey ta da bordin house.

Luckily it was only about four or five streets down, but I know Race was grittin ‘is teeth da whole way. I felt so helpless, dere wad nuttin I could do fer im. I whispoired da woirds ta my muddah’s poem ta him, doe I don’t tink he hoird it in da state he was in.

And so hold on when dere is nuttin in youse,

‘cept da will which says ta youse, "Hold on!"

Hold on, Race. I taught fiercly. Finally we’s reached da bordin house and I pretty well carried ‘im up da fire escape.

"Hey! Jack! Jack!" I knocked on da window and waited. Den knocked again. Dese guys shore slept soundly. Suddenly da window was opened and KidBlink’s face appoired.

"Cat! What’s up?!" He sounded groggy.

"Get Jack! I found Race in da alley and he’s pretty bad off." KidBlink suddenly came awake.

"Race?" His attention was caught as Race gave an audible groan, I had leaned ‘im up ta da boilding next ta da winda. "Race!"

"Get Jack!" I said horsely. But dere wad no need. Jack was dere, appearing instantly and takin da situation inta hand.

He hoisted hisself out a da window, den knelt by Race. "It’s ok, buddy." He told ‘im. "We’se gonna take good care a youse and get ya all fixed up. Don’t woirry." Jack’s voice held such care and tenernouis dat I’d nevah hoird from him before. Den I hoird anudder sound, I couldn’t recognize it at foirst. Den I did. Race was cryin.

My heart froze and I saw da wide eyed expression on Kid Blink. Race was tough, evahn at da woirst of times, I knew my friends back home always woire. Dey’d rather die dan cry in front of dere friends. I knew how much dis must embarrass Race but it also clued me in on how much he was hoirtin.

Jack continued ta tawk ta Race, all’s da while he was liftin him and helpin him trough da window. Once dey were trough I caught Jack’s attention. His expression was one of such desolation, but underneath dat was a layer of anger like I had nevah seen before. I felt sorry fer da guys dat had done dis. Would dat angah toirn on me when he found out I was ta blame fer dem hoirting Race?

KidBlink poked his head out. "Come on." He said, in barely a whisper. Race’s cryin had an affect on him too. Wishing wid all my hoirt I could I shook muh head.

"No." I said, tryin ta sound normal. "I can’t." I toirned ta go, den looked back fer a second. "Tell Jack I’m sorry...." I paused. "bout Race and...evertin. I didn’t mean for dis ta toirn out dis way." And wit dose woirds I was gone. Disappeared inta da dark night. Da tears were da only witness ta my cryin. And evan dey slipped ta da ground and woire lost.

I was leaning against a wall, I had no ideah where. I had wawked and wawked, neavah toirning back. Jist wawkin. Da foirst time I noticed dat I was cryin was when I stopped. And heya I was, jist leaning ‘gainst dat wall.

"Gettin all’s weepy don’t solve nuddin." I told myself angrily. Da anger was growin. Anger at da Delanchy’s who had hoirt Race, anger at da Newsies fer trusting me, anger at my muddah fer leavin me, and anger at myself fer hoirting my friends and especiolly Race.

Dis anger grew and all of a sudden my legs stoirted wawkin, den running. Den I was runnin and running and running, tryin ta get away and tryin ta use up my anger. I ran and ran and ran. My legs ached but I barely felt dem. Instead I felt da ache in my chest.

"No!" I yelled. "I nevah meant ta fall in love wid im! I didn’t want ta!" Da truth finally out, I felt my anger rush up once more like a wave tryin ta engulf me. I finally realize I love ‘im and he get’s hoirt ‘cause of me! "It’s not fair!" I screamed at no one in particular. I ran and ran and ran.

My tears blinded me and when I suddenly ran straight inta sometin very hard I didn’t evan have a warning. It knocked me onta my back, but I was up in an instant. "Watch where ya running!" A deep and mean voice yelled.

My anger lept out like a whip. "Get outa my face!" I yelled back, equally mad. Once I had stood up I saw it was a very large guy, probably a bit older dan me, but not much. He had da biggest shoulder’s I had evah seen. Dere were two odder guys wid ‘im. Both almost as big. I felt my anger flow inta my arms and legs, I took a stance.

"Foirst of all," Da guy started, trowin his cigarette away. "dis is our territory. Second, anybody who comes inta our territory and insults us, dey desoirve a good soakin. Whatdaya say, boys?" Da boys agreed.

Seein red I glared and spat at dem, "Come and get me!" Dey did.

Da foirst guy dat came at me wid a yell. I swung and connected ta his nose, sparing no force. It started bleedin but he didn’t evahn stop. Instead he continued towards me, running me up ta da wall. He must a been a whole head taller dan me. I didn’t care. I had my anger, dat was all I needed.

Or being hated, don’t give ways ta hatin,

Da woirds popped inta my head and jist as suddenly I pushed dem back. I don’t need youse advice now mudda! I thought angrily. Youse shoulda taught a dat afore Race got thrashed!

Wit dat taught I gave an angry shout and lugged da guy full force in da stomache. He doubled ovah and I took da advantage ta kick ‘im in da shin and blacken ‘is eye. He managed ta punch my side, sometin dat hoirt more den he knew, and stomp on my foot. Ta finish ‘im off I kneed him in da chin and kicked ‘im in da groin. He fell ta da side ta make way for da next guy.

By dis time my head was beginning ta ring a bit from da blow and my side was hoirting again. Da running had tired me out more den I taught, but still, I taught of Race cryin and da energy jist came back.

While I was gettin my breath back da udder guy whacked me in da stomache. I didn’t evahn see it coming, so I doubled ovah in surprise as much as pain. I dodged his hit ta my face, den smucked my fist against his chest jist as hard as I could. He stumbled back in surproise, I was small but strong. He aimed fer my head but again I ducked and fattened his lip. Dis guy was big but ‘e was slow. Unfortuantly I missed da next punch thrown at me and da next one afta dat. I was losing my advantage of anger as da fight wore on and da cold and pain got trough ta me.

Wid a final try I kicked him as hard as I could at da same time as punchin him in da stomache. He gasped. Takin dis as a good sign I brought him up ta da wall as fast as I could and rammed ‘is head against it. ‘e too fell.

Dis brought me ta da guy I’d rammed inta. Ta tell da truth I didn’t want ta fight ‘im. Da anger had left me wid da last guy’s fall. I felt drained of energy and willpower. All I wanted ta do was sleep.

He came at me wit a sneer and slugged me in da head. I teetered but didn’t fall. I made a half hearted hit ta his chest. He pounded me in da stomache, den hit me in da face. I figoired I had a black eye now. As I straightened I saw da look on his face. He knew I wasn’t fightin back and he wondered why.

My head began ta spin and ringing deafened me. "I don’t want ta fight no more." I tried ta say, but it came out as a mumble. Da ground suddenly rushed up ta meet me. Cold cobblestones pressed against my face !and jist before I was engulfed wit darkness I hoyde someone mumble, "I’m sorry Race." it didn’t occur ta me dat it was me.

Chapter Ten

Soft light played around da room. It was large, a familair voice was singing ta me. It was my muddah. I went ovah to her and let her stroke my hair. "I’m sorry mudda. I didn’t mean it." On da hearth in a box lay my bruddah, sleepin soundly. I felt a peace in my heart dat I hadn’t felt since my mudda had died. The words to the song surrounded me in a blanket of security.

I believe in a place called hope,

A place of perfect peace for every heart and soul,

Where every broken spirit can be made whole,

Yes, I believe in a place called hope,

I’m dreaming of a place where the whole world is free,

Where children never go hungry and peace reigns supreme,

Where I can be my brother’s keeper and I can be my neighbor’s friend,

Where families stay together ‘cuz love has no end,

I believe in a place called hope,

Tell me how we can make it happen, tell me what we can do,

To make this hope a reality, to make the dream come true,

We can start by liftin one another up and layin our weapons down,

Put our trust in God above and turn this world around,

I still believe in a place called hope,

A place where love is the only answer and faith is the only call,

But we must all be for one and everyone must be for all.

I believe in a place,

A place of hope,

A place of perfect peace,

I still believe in a place called hope.

I awoke ta find myself laying down somewhere. Somewhere soft. Dere was sometin under my head too. A pillow? Where was I?

I sat up, den put a hand ta my head as I felt it throbbing. I took a deep breath and da throbbing went down. Den I looked around. Bunks were stacked against all da walls and some in da center, Dere were two doors, one was open and seemed ta lead inta a washroom, though large. Da udder one was closed but I figured it had ta lead outside of...where ever dis was.

Reality hit me sharply and I wished I was back in my dream.

If youse can dream-and not make dreams youses mastah

Da woirds came quickly but I shut dem out. No time ta tink of tings like dat now.

"Well, well, well. So’s ya finally decided ta wake up, eh?" Da voice startled me and I whirled around ta meet wid da bluest pair of eyes I had evah seen. Dey belonged ta a by bought my height, wid a cane. He was dressed as a Newsie but dere was sometin about him dat commanded youse attention.

"Who are you?" I asked, my mind already woirkin on da problem of where ta go now dat I couldn’t go back ta Manhattan. Obviously he saw in my eyes dat I really wasn’t worried bout where I was or who he was.

"I’m Spot Conlon, Cat." It wasn’t his name dat got my attention. It was mine. How did he know my name?

"How do you know my name?" I asked, steppin away widout meanin to. If he was wid da bulls or evan da Delanchy brudders dan I was a goner. I didn’t want ta fight and I could feel dat I wasn’t in any condition ta fight eider. I felt bruised everywhere and my side boirned.

Spot frowned. He could see dat I was a bit scared, but not of him or his name. Dis puzzled him. "So it is youse. Jack said you matched da description." He took a step towards me and I didn’t back away. If he knew Jack den it’d be ok. For now.

I sighed, den grabbed my hat off da bed where it had been beside me and put it on. "Yeah, well I’s seem ta be radder populair lately." Pause. "Tanks fer everytin but I’s really got ta get goin."

Spot was taken aback. Geez! Dis Newsie shore didn’t waste time wid pleasantries or gratitude. "Da ya want ta wash up foirst? Ya got’s blood on ya arm and a nice shiner." I hesitated. Den nodded. Who knows when da next oppoirtunity fer washin might be.

Spot showed me ta da washinroom and I leaned dovah da sink ta wash my hands. In da mirror I could see da shiner dat Spot had mentioned. "Where is dis?" I asked suddenly, struck by a bit of curiosity.

Spot was leanin gainst da door watchin me wid no expression. "Da Brooklen Newsie’s Bordin House." He told me. "My boy’s brought ya heya late last night." Den he righted himself and came ovah ta me. "Ya soaked two a my boys." I wasn’t sure what ta make a his tone. He sounded a bit mad but under dat dere was da surprise and curiosity ‘a how I did it.

I shrugged, "I was mad." Da events ‘a da last night played ovah in my mind. Suddenly I taught of sometin. Two sometin’s actually. Foirst, Jack and Race had mentioned da name Spot when dey were goofin round sayin Jack wud da best Newsie in New Yark. And da way Spot said, ‘My boys." he was da leadah ‘a da Brooklen Newsies! Geez! I taught. Den da second ting I taught of made me spin around ta face him.

"Yah spoke ta Jack? Did he’s say how Race wud doin? Is he ok?" Da questions were out afore I knew what I was saying. Woirry fer Race had ovahcome da angah I had felt last night.

Spot’s whole face changed. It became hard, his eyes pieces ‘a ice. But I wasn’t shore if it wasn’t at me. "He’s in da hospital." He spoke clearly and wid no feeling. I knew from dis dat he must be pretty upset and mad. "He might have ta have an opoiration and dere not shore if he’s gonna make it yet." Had Jack told ‘im it wad my fault? Was dat ice aimed at me?

I leaned against da sink in nausia, closing my eyes. "Damn." I whispered harshly. I tried ta stop da images from da night before but dey flooded ovah me. Finally I managed ta get control and open my eyes.

Spot was watchin me. I dried my hands and toirned ta him. "Tanks. I’s gotta be goin now." Widout moving da Brooklen Leadah spoke.

"Back ta Manhattan?" But from da way he said it I knew he knew da answer.

Wid a shake of my head I said it anyways, "No. Ta da train yard." I told him. For a second he looked like he was struggling against sometin. I felt compelled ta stay until he decided whether or not ta tell me.

"Jack said." He licked his lips. "Jack said dat Race wanted ta tawk ta ya. He said it was urgent and dat youse was ta go ta da hospital when ya went back." At da mention of Race I winced.

"I ain’t goin back." I said clearly. Den more softly, "I cain’t go back." He nodded.

I wawked out inta da main room again, den ta da door. I had jist placed my hand on da knob when he spoke from behind me. "Da bulls are lookin for ya." He told me.

I whirled around. "I know!" I almost shouted, then wondered why dat had upset me so much. As I looked into his eyes I realized why. "I know da bulls are looking fer me!" I shouted again. "And I know dat dat’s why Race wad soaked! Cause dey figoired he’d know where I was!" The truth made my chest hoirt. "And I know dat da bulls ‘a gonna be afta da Newsies if I stick ‘round!" Spot was watchin me wid a weird expression. "And I know you’se wants ta soak me cause I brought dis on Race and everybody else!" I paused fer breath. I don’t know what came ovah me, jist dat it was good ta get it out.

Dat’s when I realized dat Spot had an almost smile on ‘is face. Before I could yell at him fer laughin at me he spoke. "Jack’d soak me if I touched ya." I looked at him fer a minute.

"Why?" I asked, anger spent. "Does he want ta soak me foirst?" Dis taught made me cringe. I had liked Jack.

Spot’s smile grew a bit. "Jack? Soak ya? Aftah he had his boys combin da streets fer ya, tinkin da Delanchy’s odder da bulls had got ya?" Dere was a twinkle in his eye. I was confused.

"But youse said he knew I was heya." I questioned him, letting my hand fall away from da door.

He leaned on da wall, obviously gloatin dat he knew sometin I didn’t. "Dat’s only aftah he sent his boys inta my territoiry ta ask me ta watch fer ya. When I saw dat youse matched da description I sent woird dat youse was heya. He was ovah heya in less dan an hour." His smile grew, as did my confusion. "’A course youse wouldin rememboire dat, seein as youse was out like a log. So’s he made da boys dat had been soirchin fer youse search fer da guys dat soaked Race instead. I pity dem when dere found."

For a second I was silent. "He’s not mad." It was more of a statement dan a question. Spot nodded at me, his smile suddenly dissapearin.

"No. Dat’s what I’ve been tellin youse. He- all a da Newsies dat I’ve tawked ta- seem ta tink youse a guy of good charactor. Dey say you trashed dem Delanchy brudders twice and saved Davey’s bruddah. Dey also say dat youse gave dem good advice and dat youse didn’t leave Race evahn when ya hoird dat da bulls was afta ya." He paused, "Dey like youse. And dat don’t come easy."

Wow. I taught. Den I rememberoired what Spot had jist said. ‘dey tink youse a guy of good charactor’. A guy. Da woirds rung in my head. Yeah, I’m a guy of great charactor, jist great.

And yet don’t look to good, nor tawk too wise;

I rememboired da lines from my muddah’s poem. Well, I taught, wid dis shiner I shore don’t look so good. And evahn toe I gave some good advice dat don’t mean I’m wise. Aftah all, what’s good advice if ya don’t follow it?

Spot looked at me and I looked at him. He wasn’t angry at me, and he didn’t want ta soak me. I wasn’t angry at him eider. "Youse goin back." Again it was a statement. Spot seemed ta know before I did where’s I was goin. Dis time I nodded.

Chapter Eleven

When I got ta da bordin house it was empty. Da boy’s was probably out havin Dinnah. I stepped inside and was ‘bout ta sit down on a bunk when I hoird a familair voice say, "I toild Jack you’d be back!"

I toird ta my left and saw Crutchey dere, almost dissapearin next ta da dark wall. Despite myself I smiled. "Hiya Crutchey. Win any poker games lately?"

He grinned back at me. I went ovah and sat down next ta him, sighing as I did so. "If youses don’t mind me askin, why’d ya come back? Spot was shore youses wouldn’t."

Spot? Hmm...guess I shouwd him, huh?

"Why?" I echoed. "I guess I jist..." I paused.

If youses can tink- and not make thought youses aim

I’m tinking too hard. I thought. Just say it. "I’m not exactly shore but I couldn’t leave youse guys. I mean, I don’t know ya too well but I feel like youse are family. And right now dat’s da only family I’s has." I stopped fer a moment. "Sometimes youse can’t run. Sometimes youse got’s ta stop and fight."

Crutchey nodded, thoughtfully. "I’m glad ya did. Dere’s sometin bought you, I don’t know what it is but...da boys listen ta what youse say and dey respect youse." Dis was news ta me. "We’ve been true alot even doe it’s jist been a couple a days."

His words caught me off guard.

If youse can meet with Triumph and Dissaster

And treat those two impostoirs jist da same

Dere will always be sadness in life, da trick is loirning ta enoy da happy tings. Den da sadness don’t matter so much. And evah when it does mattah, it don’t seem so bad.

Crutchey smiled at me, den shook his head. As if readin my mind he told me, "Youse got’s ta roll wit da punches. If youse don’t-or youse is a sore losah- den youse can nevah win at life."

How true! I taught. Unbidden my muddah’s poem came ta mind.

If youse can make one heap of all youses winnings,

And risk it on one toirn of pitch and toss,

And lose and start at da beginnings

And nevah breathe a woird ‘bout youses loss.

Could I do dat? I taught. Could I risk all my dreams and secrets and security by tellin da truth? Could I start at da beginnin again? I didn’t have an answoir. Crutchy stood.

"Dere’s someone on da roof ta tawk ta youse." He told me, "Tanx fer retoirning." Den he hobbled from da room. I watched him go, knowin who was on da roof.

Would he blame me? Spot said he wasn’t mad any, but who knows? Should I tell him? Da woirds rung in my head. Could I tell him? Den I bit my lip. Could I Not tell him? Our friendship and trust was too impoirtent Not ta tell ‘im.

If you can foirse youses heart and noirve and sinew,

Ta soirve youses toirn long aftah dey is gone,

I took a deep breath and climbed up ta da roof. Jack was dere, danglin his feet ovah da side a da buildin. I sat down next ta him widout him lookin up. "Youse wanted ta tawk ta me Jack?" I asked hesitantly.

He still didn’t look up. "Spot didn’t tink youse would come back." He said, I couldn’t dissifer his tone of voice. "I was a bit woirried too."

Woirried? Did dat mean he wanted me ta come back? "Yeah, well. I couldn’t jist go, not like dis. Heaven’s knows what youses tinkin bout me."

He looked up. "Tinkin bout you? How bout how brave youse was ta carry Race back wid da bulls out fer ya? Anybody else woulda run wid out lookin back." I shrugged. I knew he would’a done da same fer Race.

"How’s Race doin?" I tried to keep the worry from my voice but it crept in anyway. Jack watched me. Den answoired.

"Da doctors ain’t shore ifin-" He paused, "he’s gonna make it." He looked up sharply, I looked away. He waited until I looked back at him before continuing. "But I know he will. Race’s a survivoir. He always wins in da long run."

Crutchey’s woirds came back ta me. "Youse got’s ta roll wit da punches."

I took a deep breath. I knew what I had ta do. I jist didn’t want ta. But I had ta. "Jack." I said in a strange voice. Halfway ‘tween tremblin and proud. "I need ta tell youse sometin."

He gave me a weird look. I looked away, not barin ta see his eyes when I told him I’ve been lyin all dis time. "I’m a goyle." Dere, I’d said it!

If youse can bear to hear da truth when youses spoken,

Twisted by knaves ta make a trap fer fools,

Or watch da tings youses given youses life fer broken,

And stoop and build dem up wit worn out tools,

Get ready ta start ovah. I taught ta meself. But what tools would I use? Lies? More secrets? Dey hadn’t soirved me well, perhaps ifin I’s jist told da truth?

Takin a deep breath I glanced up at Jack. Witout meanin ta I met his eyes. Dere weren’t no anger in dem. I was soirprised. Instead I saw understanding, curiousity, amusement and...admiration?

"I didn’t mean ta lie ta youses all. It’s jist dat I always played da boy ta be safe...and, well, I didn’t know youse or anytin and it-" Witout meanin to I was bablin. Maybe I was jist glad he wasn’t angry.

If neither foe nor lovin friend can hoirt youse,

If all men count with youse but none too much,

Da poem was wrong. Maybe foe couldn’t hoirt me, but lovin friend can. Dey can hoirt youse more den any soakin. I hoped and prayed dat Jack woidin hoirt me, even doe I desoirved it.

"Cat." Jack said, "It’s ok." He paused. "A goyle, hey?" It sounded like he was rollin da woird in his mouth and tastin how it sounded. "A goyle. Well dat might be nice. A goyle Newsie." I couldn’t believe how calmly he was takin it.

"Youse ain’t mad?" I asked, incrediously.

Or walk with Kings--nor lose the common touch,

Well, Jack was da closest ting ta da King ‘a New York dat I’d probably evah meet. I didn’t tink dat I was losin da touch, not wit my record.

"Youse lied ta me." Jack spoke, "but wit reason. I’d a done da same in youses shoes. ‘sides. Dere ain’t a Newsie yet witout a secret. It’s part of ours charm." He gave a boyish grin. I couldn’t help but grin back.

Life is funny. I taught Jack would be angry at me, probably not let me be a Newsie anymore. Instead he finds it funny. And Race...well, like Jack said. Race wud a soirvivor. He’d live and probably be bettah off fer it. And as fer da bulls? Well, we’d deal wid dat when it came up.

All of a sudden I was feeling pretty good. In fact, I wud feeling Real good. Da sun was setting and I hoird da voices ‘a da Newsies as dey walked towards da Lodgin house. Witout warning I began ta laugh. I through back me head and jist let the joy come out in peals ‘a laughtah. It echoed through da streets and down ta da hospital where Race wud lying. I swear I hoird him join in.

If youse can fill da unforgivin minute,

Wit sixty-second worth of distance run,

Yours is da earth and everytin dat’s in it,

And--which is more--you’ll be a man, my son.

Wit a last laugh I stood up and prepared ta join da oddah Newsies in da Lodgin House. Suddenly I stopped, and ta da dismay ‘a da confused Jack, I said out loud ta da sky and da streets and ta my muddah --where ever she was---

"No muddah. I’ll be a Newsie, and your daughtah." Den I followed Jack inside ta where my family was waitin.

The End of Part One

Author’s Note:

This story was (obviously) based on a poem by Rudyard Kipling. I’ve written it in it’s whole and complete form below and I thank the author for his patience as I twisted the poem ta meet my own means. Anyways, I hope you like this story and PLEASE PLEASE write me if you do because I’d really LOVE to know if ANYBODY out there likes it. Even if it’s just a one sentance note saying you read it. Send it to : roadrunner@coastnet.com ; Thanx!

If

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowances for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired of waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master;

If you can think--and not make thought your aim,

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth when you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start at your beginnings,

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings--nor lose the common touch,

If neither foe nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute,

With sixty seconds worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And--which is more--you’ll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

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