Perpetual Bliss

by Juliet Benson

"Case 245,667."

"All rise for the honorable Judge Skinner."

"All right," the judge looked at his notes on the case in front of him. "We have here… Skittery?" the judge looked up, brow furrowed. A rumpled, nervous young lady stood up.

"Ah, yes, sir. He’s a character from the hit Disney film "Newsies"."

"I see," the judge said dryly and steepled his fingers, giving the young woman a look she knew well. It said "lunatic".

"You are charged with stalking and indecent public exposure. How do you plead?"

"Your honor, I plead for the court to hear my side of the story." The judge sighed tolerantly.

"The court recognizes your plea."

"Thank you, your honor. You see," she began. "it all started when I saw "Newsies" for the first time a few months ago. I became obsessed-" at the murmurs of the crowd of paid onlookers, she quickly backtracked. "that is, I fell in lov… I took a liking to one of the characters. Skittery." The crowd stilled frowned, but loosened up slightly.

"I see. So you changed your name to pay homage to this… fascination of yours?"

"I suppose you could say that, sir. Of course, it didn’t happen right away, everything comes in due time, and first I bought the tape, book and soundtrack to play over and over again, incessantly in my home."

"What exactly was the base of your fixation with this… character?" the judge then inquired. A look of rapture lit up the young woman’s face.

"It was… the Belt." The judge looked puzzled.

"The Belt?" he repeated, thinking of, as any good, upstanding and moral citizen should, of attractive clothing accessories worn around one’s waist. The woman nodded energetically.

"Yes, your honor. He can belt. The way he sings ‘for a buck I might’ sends shivers down my spine!"

"And because of that you felt you needed to change your name to his?"

"Well… yeah." The judge sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Proceed."

"Well, then I decided I had to meet the actor, and I went to extremes trying to find and talk to him."

"Stalking," the judge said flatly. The young woman lifted her chin defiantly.

"If ‘stalking’ means expressing a sincere interest in art, a desire to show appreciation, a need for something better than what this life has to offer us, then YES! I am guilty as charged!"

"Stalking," the members of the company intoned. The woman shrugged.

"And the public indecency?" questioned the judge. The woman blushed.

"Ah, well, that was an unfortunate situation… I was hiding in a bush waiting to see Skittery, camera clutched in one hand, pen and paper for an autograph in the other. He appeared and in my excitement I tore my shirt rather revealingly." The judge leaned back.

"I have come to my conclusion. I hereby sentence you to five months community service and the state will confiscate all your Newsies merchandise and donate it to a homeless shelter." He banged his gable as the woman screamed in agony.

"Nooooo!" she yelled, dragged away by the bulls to a Newsies-free, miserable life.