I Love You, I Love You Not by Angel
Part One in the Series

~~This is Angel! All characters associated with the WB series Dawson's Creek are not mine and no profit is made from this story. Liz Morgan is a fictional character that I have created. Don't sue me okay?~~

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End of the third round
As I put the phone down
Chasing the same lines
Over the old ground
I'm pushing zero
Where is my hero
He's out there somewhere
Left of the middle
And your world falls down
And you're there calling out
But it's something I can't say
Though it seems the only way
No it's a game that I can't play
Not today

~Natalie Imbruglia, Left of the Middle~

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Pacey Witter stretched out on his bed. He'd just gotten back from working at Screenplay and he was exhausted. "Hello? Pacey, are you in there?" Pacey immediately sat up. He knew that voice. But it couldn't be Liz Morgan, his best friend since kindergarten and the girl he'd had a crush on since she moved to Boston two years ago. Could it? The door opened and Liz just stood there, as if frozen.

"W-What are you doing here?" Pacey stammered. "I thought you were in Boston."

''I was," Liz said flatly, leaning against the door and brushing her short brown hair out of her eyes. "I moved back to live with my mom. God, it's been-,''

"Two years," Pacey finished for her. Liz nodded.

"Yeah, two years," she echoed. "You haven't changed a bit.

Yeah, sure I haven't, Pacey thought. Tentatively, she came and sat next to him on the bed.

"Hey," he said. "Why don't we go out tonight? You can see Dawson and Joey again, we'll hang out. Stuff like that."

"Yeah," Liz mumbled. "How is Dawson, anyways? Last I heard he was still working at Screenplay and doing a transparent monster film." Pacey laughed.

"Hey, don't knock Capeside Swamp Thing. It's a great gorefest." Liz wrinkled up her nose.

"Oh good. A great communication of everything that's wrong with the film world." Pacey nodded.

"How come you've never written or called me?" he asked. "It doesn't take that long to pick up the phone, does it?"

"I've been busy," Liz mumbled. "I'm sorry." Pacey shrugged off her apology.

"Forget it. It's past." Liz nodded.

"Sure it is. Speaking of past, how's your love life? Last thing Joey told me you were pining away for your English teacher."

"She told you?" Pacey asked with a sigh. Liz laughed.

"Pacey, forget it. Who am I going to tell? Your secret's safe with me. I.....I should really go."

"I'm glad," Pacey said with a smile. "See you later, Liz."

After she had left, Pacey flopped down on his bed. This was going to be an interesting night, especially with Tamara--Ms. Jacobs--in the picture. Yeah, very interesting, he thought.

Dawson spotted Jen Lindley walking across her lawn. "Hey, Jen," he called. "What do you say? Your Friends and Neighbors, the Rialto, seven-thirty, Milk Duds?" Jen smiled at him.

"Sure," she said. "Is Pacey's friend Liz going to be there?" Dawson nodded.

"Yeah, you'll like her. She's really nice." Jen nodded.

"Mmm-hmm. Pacey sure does. I don't even know the girl, but I know that she's making him nuts. All he's talked about lately is Liz this, Liz that. It's very odd. Is she pretty?" Dawson nodded.

"She's not a dog." Jen laughed.

"I should hope not. Well, I really should get going before Grams sends out a search party. Dawson let go of her hand.

"Yeah, we'll pick you up at seven?" Jen gave him a kiss.

"Sounds good. Bye, Dawson." Dawson looked longingly at her as she walked away.

"Yeah, bye Jen."

"Jo, table seven's order is ready!" Bodie called, setting two plates on the order counter.

"Got it." Joey Potter grabbed a fresh menu pad and walked over to a booth. "Hi, what can I get you?"

"Anything with sugar and caffeine is good for me," the girl answered with a smile. Joey immediately recognized her.

"Liz? It's me, Joey."

"Joey, hey!" Liz exclaimed. "How are you? You work here?" Joey nodded.

"Yeah. Serving food to people every Saturday from nine to four is not my idea of a great weekend, but the tips are good. Are you just visiting or did you move back?''

"I moved back to live with my mom. The sooner I got out of Boston, the better. My dad moved to Manhattan, and I didn't want to go to school in the city."

"You know, you and your mom should stop by sometime for dinner. Bessie and Bodie and I could use the company."

"Thanks I'll tell her," Liz remarked. "You're coming to the movies tonight, aren't you?" Joey nodded.

"Your Friends and Neighbors. Heck, if that isn't my life, I don't know what is. Dawson will love it." Liz had to crack a smile.

"Right. What's his girlfriend like? I heard she's really sweet." Joey nodded.

"Yeah, she's great."

That night, Dawson, Jen, and Pacey walked towards the theater in silence. "Is my hair sticking up?" Pacey asked finally. "If I start talking, you'll shut me up, right?" Dawson smirked at his friend.

"Pacey, relax. I mean, it's Liz Morgan. See, that's why Joey and I would never get involved. One, there's inevitably going to be awkward, nervous tension, and two, she's not my type. It'd be a big mess."'

"Oh, thanks that's very comforting, Dawson," Pacey muttered. "You're a real help. Can't you just put me out of my misery so I don't have to go through with this?" Dawson shook his head.

"Pacey, no way. You like the girl, you tell her. I'm not going to do it for you."

"Confessions don't kill anyone," Jen reminded him.

"Yeah, rejection kills," Pacey muttered. "But what if Ms. Jacobs is there? She said she was going to see a movie tonight, and this is the only theater within a hundred miles." Dawson just shrugged.

"Suck it up."

When they arrived at the Rialto, they saw Joey and Liz waiting in line. Pacey scanned the crowd for Tamara.

"Wait, I think I see Ms. Jacobs. I'll meet you guys inside."

"Where'd Pacey go?" Joey asked as Dawson and Jen walked up to them.

Jen pointed to where Pacey was standing in line with Ms. Jacobs. "Guess." Liz laughed.

"What an idiot. What is he trying to do, score?"

Jen shrugged. "Whatever he's doing, he's making a fool out of himself."

''I can't wait to see this movie," Dawson said, changing the subject. "I've heard it's great."

Liz stared at him in awe. "You like indie films?" she asked. "What about Spielberg? Did you like Saving Private Ryan?"

Dawson shrugged. "Sort of."

"Hey, Tamara," Pacey said in surprise, touching her shoulder. "What a coincidence! What movie are you seeing."

"Your Friends and Neighbors," she answered, obviously uncomfortable. "Why?"

"Can I join you?" Pacey asked, noticing the look on her face.

"But what about your-," she started to say.

"Oh, they won't mind," he assured her, grabbing her elbow and pulling her towards the ticket counter.

"Well, if you're sure, Pacey," she said nervously.

Pacey nodded. "Yeah, I am."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They walked into the theater, Liz not being able to take her eyes off of Pacey and the woman. "Who's that?" she hissed to Joey.

"Ms. Jacobs," Joey whispered back. "Pacey's English teacher."

"And he likes her?" Liz asked. "Isn't that illegal?"

And totally unnecessary, Dawson thought to himself, sitting down next to them. Especially since Pacey was really nuts about Liz But he decided not to say anything, for Pacey's sake. And for his own.

"Hey, Pacey. Can I sit? You don't mind, do you, Ms. Jacobs? Or is it Tamara? By the way, Tamara, what's a middle aged woman like yourself doing at the movies all alone. I mean, you're an attractive woman, with a good job. You should be able to get yourself a man. But I guess with all the face-lifts and breast reductions and anti-wrinkle treatments, your time must be too short to concentrate on your love life, am I right?"

Tamara suddenly became flustered.

"Um, I guess so," she muttered.

Pacey grabbed Liz's arm. "Can I talk to you?" he hissed. "We'll be right back, Tamara." Tamara nodded.

"Sure, Pacey, go ahead."

"You and me, outside now," he hissed, dragging Liz out of the theater. She burst into giggles as they reached the lobby.

"God, did you see her face? It was classic!"

"What's up with you, Liz?" Pacey snapped. "Do you hate me or something? You don't write, you don't call, and when you do show up, all you do is make a fool out of me. Why is that?"

''Grow up, Pacey," Liz snapped. "I'm sorry, I've been busy. I can't fix your pathetic existence for you."

"Excuse me? I don't have a pathetic existence. Basically, I'm in love with somebody who couldn't care less about me, and when I try to reach out to her, all she does is pull away. It doesn't make any sense!"

"Maybe because she's, um, thirty?" Liz snapped.

Pacey rolled his eyes. "I'm not talking about her, Liz! I'm talking about you! I'm in love with you!"

"Excuse me?" Liz whispered. Pacey grabbed her arm and pulled her outside. "I-I'm in love with you," he repeated. ''I love you, Liz, and you're crazy if you don't believe me."

"What?" Liz asked, her voice shaking. "You....you love me? I didn't....I didn't know, Pacey. I'm sorry." She looked sheepishly down at her feet, then raised her face to him. "I guess you want to know now if I-,"

''Love me," Pacey finished for her.

Liz shook her head. "I...I don't," she admitted. "I can't, Pacey. Not now, when my life is so screwed up. I'm sorry."

Pacey just felt like a huge weight had been dropped on his shoulders. "Forget it," he said quietly. "It's okay."

"Good," Liz whispered before walking away.

"Bye," Pacey called after her, almost inaudibly

"Hey," Dawson's voice said from behind him. "Are you okay?"

Pacey sighed. "Look at me, Dawson! The girl just broke my heart. Do you think I'm okay?"

"I...I don't think so," his friend said with a laugh. "You want to talk?"

"I guess," Pacey muttered.

"What happened?" Joey asked.

"Let's just say you missed an Academy-Award winning performance, Jo," Pacey said sarcastically. "The Friendship Killer. The title needs some work."

"Should we talk to Liz?" Jen asked, trying to make him feel better.

"No, it's okay," he assured her. "I don't believe it! I was a total idiot. Now she probably hates me. All I was trying to do was tell the truth. You can be friends with someone after ten years of tree forts and mud pies, can't you?"

"Yeah, and I think she knows that. Maybe she's not ready," Jen said. "Maybe you should find someone that is. What's so special about her?"

Pacey stared at her in disbelief. "What do you mean? She's beautiful, she's smart, she's funny, she's like, everything I need! And I screwed it up."

"You didn't screw it up," Joey said. "Why jump into something like that if you're not ready? It's got to come from both sides, you know."

"I know," Pacey muttered. "Sorry I snapped at you, Jen."

Jen rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. "It's okay, I understand."

''You don't, but thanks for trying," Pacey said before walking away.

Joey sighed. "Here we go. Do you think there's enough material for a sequel?" Dawson slipped his arm around Jen's shoulder.

"Only if it has a happy ending. I can't take much more of this."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Liz, wake up. I need to talk to you." Liz rolled over and buried her head underneath her pillow, not caring who it was.

"Go away," she mumbled sleepily.

"I am in no mood for chitchat." Dawson removed the pillow from her head and tossed it on the floor. "Good morning, sunshine," he said with a smile. "You want breakfast? Or maybe a nice hot cup of conversation?"

Liz sat up and glared at him. "No, I'm full. I've had all the talk I can stomach for at least half a decade. But breakfast sounds good."

"Great," Dawson said cheerfully. "Go shower and change, and then we'll go to the Icehouse."

Liz pointed to the door. "Well, are you going to leave me alone or do I have to kick you out of my room?''

Dawson grinned at her. "You're crabby in the morning."

Liz glared at him. "It's part of my charm. Now leave!"

After she had showered and changed, she went downstairs where Dawson was waiting for her.

"So, what's on the agenda today, Mr. Man?" she asked dryly. "More interrogation?"

He smiled at her. "Ding ding, right again. What's your side of the story?"

"I'm not talking to anyone," she snapped as they walked outside into the wet, rainy morning. "If you want to know so much, ask Pacey. He's the one with the problem."

Dawson glanced around. "Well, he is nowhere to be found, is he? Now can you please tell me what the hell went on last night?"

Liz sighed. "Dawson, I don't feel like explaining," she said tiredly. "And why are you doing Pacey's dirty work for him? Doesn't he have enough guts to talk to me himself?"

"I don't know," Dawson said flatly, although he knew that his friend was scared shitless of getting rejected by her again. "Are you ready to listen to me?"

Liz sighed, fed up with her friend's questions. "No. Leave me alone."

Dawson thought for a second and looked up at the gray, gloomy clouds. "I'm trying to help, Liz," he pointed out before walking away.

Liz stormed back into her house and slammed the door, completely furious. He was trying to help? He was only going to make things worse. As if they could get any worse than this.

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