Final Episode Part 1 + 2 - Boston Public Season Two Finale Fic! (msted)
(Scene: Theater)

Crow: So what do we have here?
Mike: Oh just some of your run of the mill crappy fic.

>>Part 1:

Tom: (menacing voice) The Phantom Menace (breathes hard)
Crow: Phantom writer! Who wrote this?
Mike: I guess they went into witness protection.

>>(Ronnie walks into the class room to try to convince Harry to come to dinner, one more time)

Crow: Just coming in, not doing anything...
Tom: Harry? Have you seen how tight my outfit is for a teacher?

>>(She then sees Harry on the desk and runs over)

Tom: And the melodrama kicks in now....

>>Ronnie: Help! Somebody help!

Mike: (As Ronnie) I've fallen and I can't get up! No, wait, I'm fine!

>>(She then picks up the phone and calls 911).

Tom: Lets see, what the number for 911?

>> (When the medics arrive, Steven and Scott see them and follow them.

Mike: Previously on Chicago Hope...dammit wrong show.

>>They then see Ronnie over Harry, begging him to wake up)

Mike: Come on Harry, time to wake up for school!
Crow: Just five more minutes mom!

>>Steven: What happend!?!?!?!?!!?!?

Crow: Spell check broke?
Tom: Can we buy the author a vowel?
Mike: Maybe some talent?
Crow: I'd rather spin...

>>Ronnie: How the hell should i know?

Mike: Were'nt you there?
Crow: This is what the script is for!

>>Scott: Good god!

Crow: (as medic) Sorry, won't find no god here pal.

>>(The medics rush to Harry and put him on the gury,

Mike: The what? Gury? Is this a trial?
Crow: Yeah, a trial of our patience!

>> then ask everyone to back up...they then use those little shocking thingys

Tom: Someones been to med school!

>> and say 'clear'.

Mike: Like the authors head...

>>Once they get a pulse on Harry, they rush him to the hospital),

Tom: Wackiness ensues when they make a accidental stop at the morgue!
Crow: I'm sorry, Scott LOOKED dead.

>>(Ronnie leaves to go to Jamal)

Mike: Played by Malcolm Jamal Warner...

>>(Later at the Jail....Ronnie is seen storming to Jamals cell)

Crow: (as Ronnie) I am so gonna shake my finger in his face!
>>Ronnie: Where is he?

Crow: Waldo? Try the next cell.

>>Jamal: What? Who?

Mike: Why? How? Where?

>>Ronnie: Your brother, damnit. Where the hell is he?
>>Jamal: Why does it matter?

Mike: Oh the tension just sizzles, I can feel the heat...
Tom: Air conditioner broke, Mike.
Mike: Well that explains the cheese smell.

>>Ronnie: He just stabbed Harry! (moment of silence)

Crow: We now have a moment of silence for this writers fan fic writing career. (silence) Ok

>>Ronnie: WELL WHERE THE HELL IS HE?!?!?!?!?!

Tom: Wow! Talk about the kids, the teacher needs a ritalin!

>>Jamal: I dont know...

Mike: Who is he, Ronnie Reagan?

>>Ronnie: Jamal, your brother is a criminal. He might have just taken Harrys life away.

Tom: (sings) Take Harrys life awayyyy.

>>Jamal: .....(whispers)i dont know.

Crow: I want my lawyer! Wheres Sam Waterston when you need him?

>>Ronnie: Jamal.....you love Harry Senate,

Tom: Aren't the teachers already too close to the students in this school?

>>and you know he cares for you...why cant you help save him? And dont just do it for Harry, do it for your brother. He could be throwing his life away.

Tom: (sing) Throwing it all awayy....
Crow: Will you shut up!
Mike: No shouting!

>>Jamal: HE ALREADY HAS.

Mike: And that goes for the fic characters too!

>>Ronnie: Yes, but he can get help...no doubt, hes going to get life..but still.
>>Jamal: Still what?!?!?

Crow: Well after you get life, you dont want much else.

>>Ronnie: Just tell me where he is, Jamal!
>>Jamal: I told you...i dont know.....

Mike: ...much about History...

>>Ronnie: Thats a bunch of bull s**t!(moment of silence)

Tom: Wow someones a little lax on the censor button! (beep!) Thanks!

>>Jamal: Iam only doing this for Harry....because he believes in me. And i dont want him to die.....there is a traylor park,

Tom: A what park?

>>about 25 to 30 miles from here.

Mike: There's rednecks in Southie? This is news to me.
Crow: Once Jeff Foxworthy moved in, it all went to hell.

>>I am not sure of the name. And hes got the windows boarded up and everything.

Tom: (as Jamal) Its got the Ford on blocks out front, you cant miss it!

>>(Ronnie grabs Jamals hand and thanks him)

Crow: Marry me!

>>{Fade out for commercial}

Crow: All we need now is that Verizon jackass to show up saying "Can you hear me now?"
Mike: What happens if you say no.
Tom: I don't think we want to find out Mike...
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>>Part 2:

Tom: Attack of the fic clones!
Crow: Bad fic clones? It IS the end of the world!

>>{Fade in from commercial}

Mike: Man and they cut into a Subway commercial...

>>(Harry is shown being put into the ambulance, Guber and Harper go into the back of the ambulance as well)

Tom: So they are taking an Ambulence Bus to the hospital?

>>(Steven then directs a question to one of the paramedics)

Mike: Pardon me, time to butt in...

>>Steven: What happened to him?
>>Medic: Looks like he got stabbed a few times in the chest.

All: DUH!
Crow: And I thought he had a real bad indian burn...

>>Steven: Is he concious?

Mike: Is he couscous?
Tom: So thats the secret recipe...

>>Medic: No...
>>Scott: What do you feel his status is?
>>Medic: We could lose him any minute.

Tom: (as medic) Just leave me alone man, this is the last day of work before I retire!

>>(Scott then stares at Steven who is crying)

Mike: (whispers) Big boys dont cry.
Crow: And this is a big boy!

>>Scott: Steven....Steven, are you alright?

Tom: This story is full of stupid questions

>>(No answer from Steven...Scott nods his head and then looks at the floor)

Crow: (as Steven) I think I saw a penny under that gurney.

>>(Ronnie is at the desk of the Police Station)

Tom: Yoo hoo? Is this the hospital?

>>Ronnie: He said that theres a traylor park about 30 miles away. His brother should be there. Got any idea about what hes talking about?

Mike: Aint got no clue lady. I'm just the night shift.

>>Officer: Yea, its a really messed up place. Did he happen to give you the specs on what traylor it is?

Tom: Well it looks like a cracker box and has "Tornado Bait" written all over it....

>>If not, we are going to have to get a warrent to search all the traylors.

Mike: Traylors must be the cheaper trailors.

>>Ronnie: Well, he told me that all the windows are boarded up.

Crow: Must be hurricane season...a lot of blowhards go through this city...

>>Officer: Not to helpful....most of those traylors are boared up. So we are going to get a warrent just incase.

Mike: Conveniant Officering!

>>RonnieRonnie

All: (sing to the tune of "Rebel Rebel") RonnieRonnie put on your dress, RonnieRonnie...

>>pleads with the officer) Please....just hurry up.
Officer: I will. (The officer picks up the phone and punches 4 numbers)

Mike: I need a new delivery of donuts...

>>(Ronnie walks over to a chair and falls into it, exhaling alot of air)

Tom: Was that good for you?

>>(Now, we are at a near by hospital)

Mike: Trapper John!
Crow: ER!
Tom: Strong Medicine!
Crow: Yeah you need some to watch that show...
Tom: Right and hey!

>>Medic: Back out of the way, we gotta get him into the ER right away.

Tom: (as Medic) Then we will make him fill out forms for half an hour and if he is not dead by then we will run totally unnecessary and expensive tests on him!

>>(Scott and Steven back up so the Medics can get threw)

Crow: Isn't throwing a stabbing victim a bad idea?

>>(Steven and Scott follow the Medics into the ER, A nurse then speaks to them)

Mike: Is the soon to be deceased insured? Oh too bad.

>>Nurse: Iam sorry, but you cant go in, this man is going in for surgery right away.

Crow: (as nurse) Oh gracious time for my cigarette break.

>>(Steven and Scott understand, Scott sits in the chair, and Steven stays standing. Then sits on the arm rest of a chair), (Scott looks up and sees Steven crying)

Mike: (as Scott) God what a wuss!

>>Scott: Steven...is everything alright?

Crow: (as Steven) All this and I forgot to tape Night Court!

>>Steven: Hes......(Steven takes a deap breath), (Then a moment of silence) >>Steven: Hes, just so special to me....hes one of those dedicated teachers....the ones you dont see everyday. The ones you look so hard for, but you cant find them.

Tom: Cause they are invisible..

>>Hes such a dedicated man...you cant find that in everyone. He love's what he does. And he love's the people surrounding him.

Crow: And he LOVED Dana Poole and Lauren and....

>>Hes a very unique person Scott, i dont know if you know how i feel...but it was tearing me up inside.....tearing me up inside to see him on the Gury, with blood on his white shirt....

Mike: Its never gonna get clean! And that was his fave shirt!

>>Scott: I know how you feel Steven....believe me....i do. (A voice over the intercom system is heard)

Mike: Rather than seen?
Crow: Paging Doctor Fine, Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine...

>>Voice: Dr.Layden, please report to surgery. Dr.Layden, please report to surgery. (A Doctor and a Nurse then rush right by Scott and Steven), (The Doctor then asks the nurse)

Mike: Gripping random doctor conversation!

>>Doctor: Whats happend to the victim, and who is he.

Mike: (points) Hey thats Doogie Howser!

>>(The nurse replys)
>>Nurse: Harry Senate,
Tom: Cousin of Maxwell House...

>>he got stabbed 4 times in the chest. There is a few pieces of the knife in his chest. They were snapped off it, and now there stuck inside. They're cutting off his blood circulation, and chopping up his organs.

Crow: (as nurse) and hes got a massive paper cut....

>>(Steven and Scott stare at each other...Scott then begins to cry)

Mike: These people show more emotion than Dana Scully in one episode of the X-files!

>>(Ronnie is shown answering a ringing cell phone), (The caller id on the cell phone reads, Lauren)

Tom: Graham from Gilmore girls? I been waiting for her call!

>>Ronnie: What is it?

Crow: A cell phone...

>>Lauren: Wow, kind of rude isnt it?
>>Ronnie: Sorry....Harry has been stabbed, hes been rushed to the hospital.
>>Lauren: .....What? When? Who?

Mike: Not this again!

>>Ronnie: Jamals brother stabbed him, just 20 minutes ago, hes at the hospital now.

Mike: So we have it clear, Harry has been stabbed.
Crow: Right.
Mike: And hes in the hospital?
Crow: Right.
Mike: Just wanted to catch people up who bothered to hang in there.

>>Lauren: Are you there now?
>>Ronnie: No iam at the police station, Scott and Steven are there now.

Tom: At the hospital or the police station? I'm confused...

>>Lauren: Iam going to go...ill keep you updated.

Tom: (As Lauren) On the hour, every hour on the 8's.

>>Ronnie: Ok..(Ronnie hangs up the phone and chucks it into her bag)

Mike: Great way to treat technical equipment.
Crow: I'm glad she doesnt have a kid!

>>(The same officer then walks up to Ronnie) >>Officer: We have got the warrent..were going over there now.

Mike: Warrant? So they are bringing Jamals brother "Cherry Pie"?
Crow: Yeah, and with a file baked in...

>>Ronnie: Can i come?

Tom: Hey chick, keep your personal problems out of this fic!
Crow: Yeah, we had enough grief!

>>Officer: Iam sorry but no....
>>Ronnie: What? Why?

Mike: I'm sorry but you freak me out, Ms Used To Be Seven Of Nine.

>>Officer: We are not allowed to bring people into the field with us...it puts them in risk.

Crow: She can take that risk, shes a Borg, you know...

>>Ronnie: Will you tell me what happens?
Officer: Where can i reach you?

Mike: (as Ronnie) Anywhere clothed....Oh you want to CALL me.

>>Ronnie: Heres my cell phone number. (Ronnie writes down a number on a sheet of paper, and hands it to the officer)

Tom: I'd like to reach out and touch her...(the guys look at him) I want her number too!

>>(The officer nods, and then the camera zooms into Ronnie's eyes)

Mike: (as Ronnie) Oh god now my contacts are gone!
Crow: Oh the horror!

>>{Fade out for commercial}

Crow: Is that it?
Mike: God and David E Kelly willing....lets get out of here!
(They leave)