(We see the doors opening and closing leading to the theater. Toms piece of wedding cake is on the arm of the chair)
Tom: Cake!
(We hear Dr F)
Dr F: Don't say I never did anything for you.
(Tom gobbles cake, burps and settles down)
Crow: Suck up.
Tom: Bite me.
Crow: Thats my line!
Mike: Shhh!

[Scene 5: The Church. Caroline is pacing waiting for Fr. Daemeon. She picks up a rosary which breaks to pieces. She drops to the floor to pick up the beads.]

Crow: Lovable clutz!

DAEM:: [entering] You must be Caroline Duffy.

Tom: What, does she have a name tag now?

CAROLINE: I'm so sorry, Father. I just picked up the rosary.
DAEM:: Don't worry about that, we got a bad batch. I was just writing a letter about that.

Mike: Must be talking about the Rosary Bead Saftey Board.

CAROLINE: Well, Del and I just want to thank you for filling in on such short notice, Father Daemeon.

Tom: Wheres Gregory Peck when you need him?

DAEM:: It's Dam-e-on.
CAROLINE: Really?

Mike: No, but it did sound better.

DAEM:: No. I'm just trying to get the other guys to stop teasing me. Well I though your fiance would be joining us.
CAROLINE: I don't know where he is, I guess he's just a little late.

Tom: He's pregnant?

DAEM:: Maybe he ran away to join the circus. I'm sorry, I'm just trying to cut the tension here. I must tell you that I've never performed a wedding before.
CAROLINE: Oh?
DAEM:: You see, I was a prison chaplain for ten years. The only weddings I presided over were unofficial, at best. I take it your fiance has had lots of practice. Father McCarthy tells me this is his third trip to the aisle.

Crow: Well he ought to watch where he was going.

CAROLINE: Yeah, well, so I guess if you have any questions you can ask him.
DAEM:: He must know the ceremony by now. I gather he just runs into trouble after they throw the rice.

Mike: Or birdseed.

CAROLINE: This is not comforting.
DAEM:: Oh, I'm sorry. Do you need comforting?

Tom: (Gets up and hugs Caroline) It's all right honey.

CAROLINE: Well you know this is my first time, so I guess I'm just a little scared.

Mike: Of what?

DAEM:: Yes, I can see where it might be scary. But you know, physical love with your husband is no sin. You know the first time can be a very beautiful thing. I guess.

Crow: But how would he know?

CAROLINE: No, Father, I think I've got that part pretty much covered.
DAEM:: Well then, confession's in about an hour. Seriously, if you need someone totalk to, I'd be happy to counsel you.
CAROLINE: It's just that I've been having some doubts and I haven't told anyone because I'm not sure if it's just normal before-the-wedding jitters or something more. You see, I always hoped for this sincere amore, a love that you don't have to question.[Camera pans outside to Del who is listening through the door. Del, I love him, but I just don't know. [Del enters the room and the camera pans inside.]

Tom: So hes gonna act like he heard nada of that.
DEL: Hey, I'm sorry I'm late.[Caroline gets up to kiss him.]
CAROLINE: Hello, honey.

Tom: Hello poo.

DAEM: Del.
DEL: Hey. [he trips on the rosary beads and falls to the floor.] What are these? These are beads?

Crow: Comic props, doh!

DAEM:: Yeah. See, someone could get hurt. I'm going to put that in the letter.

[Scene 6: Richard's Apartment. Richard is writing a letter. Bold text indicates voice-over.]

Tom: A little peak at Richards life.

RICHARD: Dear Caroline, I don't know what I'm really writing, so please, bear with me. I know I'm probably violating several rules of etiquette by telling you this right before your wedding, but I have feelings [gulps from a wine bottle] strong feelings for you. I want to be with you. I want to share your laughter. I want to wipe away your tears. This is either really great writing or one hell of a chianti.[Later on at Caroline's. Richard enters when no one is home and leaves the letter amongst her thank-you notes.]

Mike: What if she blows her nose in them?
Tom: Or worse.
Crow: EWWW.

RICHARD: If you feel the same way, and if I have any chance at all with you, come to Remo's as soon as you can. You may not recognize me, because if you walk through that door, I'll have a smile on my face previously unseen by anyone. If you're not there by seven I'll know your answer is no. [To Salty] Hey, don't mock me. You're spayed, you wouldn't understand.

Tom: Smelly cat!

[Scene 7: Remo::'s. Richard is there waiting nervously.]
REMO: Richardo, I have a foursome booked at this table for tomorrow night. Shall I call them and tell them it will be dinner for five?

Crow: Make it eight since we're here.

RICHARD: What time is it?

Tom: (sings) Four thirty! Its not late! No! Its early, early!

REMO: Well, let's see. Thirty seconds ago it was seven-fifteen, I guess that would make it seven-fifteen and a half and let me tell in advance, seven-sixteen is up on deck.[Richard gives up and gathers his things][enter Caroline]
CAROLINE: Richard? Hey, you. [Richard grabs her and kisses her.]
Crow: Whoah!
Mike: (as restaurant patron) Look at that, I lost my appetite.

RICHARD: You got the letter?
CAROLINE: What letter?

Tom: R?

RICHARD: The letter, oh the letter I wrote to tell you that I've decided to become freer and more open and I've decided to become a kisser. [Richard kisses a man at a table] Hey, hey everybody, how you doing? Ma! Hey John. [kisses them] Remo! [kisses Remo::][enter Del] Del! Oh my God!

Crow: Nice cover job there.
Tom: Course everyone thinks hes gay now.

[Scene 8: Caroline's Apartment. Richard enters, slips and loses his glasses. When he finds them, a lens is missing and he cannot see.][camera flashes to the hall where Caroline and Del are entering]
CAROLINE: Isn't it weird. This is our last Thursday as non-married people.

Mike: Funny, i thought it was Wednesday.

DEL: Yeah.[Inside Richard is frantically looking for the letter. Hearing Caroline and Del, he grabs a few and runs out of the window onto the ledge.]

Tom: Dammit, I left my parachute inside.

CAROLINE: I talked to my parents.
DEL: Yeah, I talked to mine. My cousins are in from San Francisco. They've taken over the house.
CAROLINE: I'm really looking forward to meeting them.
[Richard looks inside longingly at Caroline]

All: Ahhhhhhh.

DEL: Yeah.
RICHARD: [goes through the notes he grabbed to find that none of them were his note to Caroline.] [thunder sounds] No. Thank you. [it begins to rain]

Crow: (as God) Youre welcome.

CAROLINE: Salty, don't stare at the pigeons like that. You know how they get even.

Tom: They steal your cat chow?

DEL: Yeah, I hope it doesn't rain on our wedding day.
CAROLINE: If it does, Mrs. Spidarro will say it's an omen. Boy it's really coming down out here.[Caroline closes the window]

Mike: Uh oh.

DEL: I left my car in the rain. You know, maybe we should buy a car instead. [Richard is soaking wet.] Did I mention that my cousins are here?

Tom: What is he southern? Are his cousins Luke and Bo?

GUYONSTREET: [to Richard] Hey, buddy, don't do it. It's the second floor, you'll only break your leg.
CAROLINE: Let's eat over here. Del, get the wine.
DEL: My cousins, big wine drinkers. You know they're all here from San Francisco.
CAROLINE: Del, you know, that's the third time you've said that.

Crow: But hey, whos counting.

DEL: They're my third cousins.
CAROLINE: Honey, do we need to talk?[Outside Richard moves along the building to the window in the hall.][Annie and a guy enter while Richard is pounding on the window.]

Crow: So Richard is looking for help and hes gonna ask the neighbor?

ANNIE: Here it is, the moment where you try to decide 'Do I kiss her, do I not?'. Let me help you out. [kisses the guy] [Richard beats on the window] Ooh, the storm's making the windows rattle, why don't you come on inside and make my windows rattle? [she pulls the guy inside.][Richard goes back to Caroline's window where he sees what he perceives to be a love scene between Caroline and Del. How wrong he was.]
DEL: This is my third time. For you this is number one and you could screw up and just go on and I've already filled my quota.

Mike: I'm not even near my quota.

CAROLINE: I don't want to just 'go on'.

Tom: But youre heart will go on.

DEL: So this is it for you, forever? This is your grand passion, I'm the love you'll never have to question? Because if I'm not, you've got to tell me now.[Outside, Richard is becoming more and more upset at what he is viewing. He falls backwards and lands in a trash receptacle.]

Mike: Whoops.
Tom: I didn't mean to trash the guy, whoo hoo!

[Scene 8: Richard's Apartment Door. Caroline knocks, the Italian guy answers.]
CAROLINE: You're not Richard.

Mike: Duh!
GUY: You look for an apartment lady? This is a very nice place, very nice, very clean.
CAROLINE: Where's Richard?
GUY: Crazy artist? He go.
CAROLINE: What do you mean, he go?

Tom: (As guy) He go to bathroom, use all toliet paper.

GUY: He move, hit the road. He gave me his Sealy Posturpedic. [exit Guy]
CAROLINE: Wait, wait, did he leave a message? Did he say where he was going?Did he say what he....[she breaks down]

[Scene 9: Caroline's Apartment. Later on. She's putting away wedding stuff.]
CAROLINE:Okay, wedding dress, packed. Party favors, dumped. Thank you notes.Save 'em for Christmas.

Tom: Let's go.

(We see the doors opening and closing leading to the desk area. We see a picture of Caroline.)
Crow: And now we have for you a song.
Tom: A song about that wacky coocoo chick.
Mike: Thats right, we are hear to sing of Caroline.

All: We love that gal, shes really swell.
But who can tell? Will she love Richard as well?
That groovy artist chick, who we cant deny,
she must have the love of that gloomy guy.
The guy who paints all day, and makes smart remarks.
But who knows, Love is always a shot in the dark.
Richard and Caroline, them groovy kids,
If they get together, they will never hit the skids!

Tom: What do you think sirs?

(We see Deep 13) Frank and Dr F: (show ok sign.) It stinks!
(Both push button)