"Because You Loved Me"


When Joey woke up the next morning, she was more than grateful to be sleeping in Dawson's arms. She saw her clothes on the floor and that Dawson had supplied her with one of his shirts for the night.
"Hey," Dawson said in a low voice as he too woke up. "How're you feeling?"
"Nervous," Joey confessed, "and more than a little afraid of Pacey."
Dawson kissed her hair and temple and stroked her back.
"I'm never going to let him near you again, sweetheart, ever," he said.
"Not that I mind, but what's with the pet name, Dawson?" Joey asked, her voice muffled because she had burried herself so deep into Dawson's embrace.
"I don't know, I just thought it sounded nice for you," he answered.
They stayed silent for a few moments, before Joey asked,
"Dawson, why did you come home last night from Jen's?"
Her boyfriend took a deep breath and then let it out. His mind frantically debated telling her or not. But honesty was important, and that side won.
"Jen didn't want to study. She wanted to have sex," he said as calmly as he could given the circumstances. Joey didn't look up.
"I don't know what I'd do without you, Dawson, you mean the world to me. If you ever left me alone, I'd go crazy," she answered like a little girl.
"The feeling's mutual, Jo," Dawson said, inhaling the scent of her hair. "By the way, what did you want to talk to me about?"
For the first time that morning, Joey looked up at him.
"Now's as good a time as any, I guess," she began. "Dawson, you know that you're the only thing on my mind and in my heart. And sometimes, it's harder than you think for me to tell you that."
"Joey, I-" Dawson began, but was interrupted.
"Please, I need to tell you this before I lose the courage," Joey said with a deep breath. "I know that I'm not the model girlfriend, that I'm more of a tomboy, but I do know that I love you. And that if you asked me to, I'd wear mini skirts everyday. I would never tell anyone else this but you, and you know that. Dawson, I want you to make love to me."
Silence. Joey waited for his response. Finally, it came.
"Do you know how long I've waited for you to say that?"
Joey smiled and met his lips halfway. They kissed for a long time, but that didn't seem to matter - they were already two hours late for school. Then Dawson broke the passionate kiss.
"Let's just wait till tonight, ok? I want to do this the right way," he whispered into her hair.
"Mmm. Anything you say, Dawson," Joey answered. Then she glanced at the clock through tired eyes. Those tired eyes widened at the sight that it was almost 11:15, and they had to be at school.
"Dawson, I think we should get up now..."
They raced down the stairs into the kitchen and found three notes on the table, all in Gail Leery's handwriting.
The first one said:
Dear Dawson and Joey,
I don't know what happened, but if you want to talk, I'm here. I know you two will straighten everything out. Good luck.
Love,
Mom
The other two were notes that excused both of them from being late. Dawson smiled and kissed his girlfriend's hand.
"Let's go."
It was silently agreed by the two of them that they would meet exactly after classes and walk together to the next one. Dawson became more protective of Joey as each hour went by. They hadn't seen Pacey or Jen the entire day, but neither were more than a little surprised. And anyway, neither WANTED to see the others.
When the lunch bell rang, Dawson and Joey were already waiting at a table in the cafeteria. Dawson picked at his food, but Joey didn't even pick up a lunch tray. Dawson threw out the rest of his uneaten food and sat down again. He picked up Joey's hand and gripped it gently in his own.
"Hey," he said softly, "Are you all right?"
Joey looked at him and smiled weakly.
"Yeah," she answered, "Just a little nervous. I keep having these strange day - dreams, and he comes back to haunt me." They both knew who he was.
Dawson kissed her knuckles and reached across the table to stroke her face with the back of his hand.
"It's your call, Jo, so you tell me when you're ready. I'm not going to try and force you into something you don't want," he said, truly meaning it.
Joey was just reveling in the warmth of his touch, and she closed her eyes to imagine what it would be like come night.
"Well, if it isn't Romeo and Juliet," said a voice from behind Joey. Dawson looked up to see one Jen Lindley.
"Well, there has to be a villain in every story, so I guess that makes you the bitterly jealous and rage-driven Tybalt," Dawson answered coldly. Jen was pissed, but used it to her advantage.
"Didn't seem that way to me last night, Dawson," she said slyly. Joey watched her with stone-cold eyes.
"What the hell is that creature from the black lagoon talking about, Dawson?" she asked.
"It would surprise me if she knew herself, Jo," Dawson said, letting go of Joey's hand and sitting back in his chair. Jen just laughed.
"Please, baby, don't you remember? Well, I guess that an orgasm that intense might drive you to the point of amnesia, but at least ONE of us remembers." All she got were two stony stares, so she tried again. She sat down next to Joey and less-than-demurely began to describe her and Dawson's passionate night together.
"...he was moaning my name and called for me to give him more..."
"...his mouth was attacking me so savagely, it almost hurt, but in these circumstances, pain is pleasure..."
"...he moved so quickly, and it drove me to the ends of the universe..."
At this point, Joey was about to cry. She stood up, muttered, "F****** bitch" to Jen, and left for the girls' room. Dawson stood up to go after her, but Jen's words caught him.
"Juliet can't take the heat, huh, Romeo? I could have given it to you so good last night, Dawson, but you ran. I'm giving you another chance, though, and if you come back to me, I'll satisfy every need you have."
Dawson turned around to face his ex-girlfriend. His eyes narrowed with rage.
"You make me sick. Stay away from me, and more importantly, stay away from Joey. If you don't, I'll make you wish you never even saw me," he said, enunciating every word. Jen smiled. This was exactly where she wanted him.
"Don't turn me away so easily, Dawson. I know what she does to you. You'd love to have her in your bed. I have eyes, I see what happens when you're thinking about her. Hell, the whole SCHOOL probably knows! I could make up for that, everything she's denied you, everything that she WILL deny you," she answered.
Dawson would have punched her if she were a guy, but she was a girl, and he couldn't bring himself to do it, no matter how much he wanted to. So he leaned close and whispered through gritted teeth:
"It's because I love her. And you have no clue what it is to love."
With that, he stalked out of the cafeteria to find Joey.
Jen sat, stricken, at the table. She had never expected him to hit her there - where it hurt her most. She knew she would never have Dawson again, but she would revel in the joy it gave her to torture him.
Joey heard someone call her name from outside the girls' bathroom. She stood up from her crouched position on the floor of one of the stalls. Thinking it was Dawson, she wiped her eyes and opened the bathroom door. She turned... to face Pacey.
But he didn't have that savage, desire-driven look in his eyes that he'd had the night before. His mood was somber and apoligetic.
"Joey, I-" he began but she interrupted him.
"How could you, Pacey, how could you?" she asked bitterly. "I don't know who you are anymore! You ask me to go out, and you're this perfect gentleman. Then Dawson and I fall in love, and what? You can't handle it? I've got news for you, Pacey: It doesn't work that way! I'm not some cave-woman you can drag home by the hair! So whatever you have to say, say it quick, because if Dawson sees you talking to me, he'll kick your ass."
Joey was still completely terrified of Pacey, but she used her anger towards him to fuel her words. Pacey just looked down and spoke softly.
"I wish I could take back what I did to you last night, Jo, but I can't. Believe me, if I could do it all over, I never would have listened to Jen and gone along with this-"
Joey interrupted him again.
"Jen?" she asked suspiciously. "What's Jen have to do with this? Besides the face that she's a total f****** whore?"
"Dawson didn't tell you?" Pacey inquired, finally looking at her.
"No, but maybe it was better that he didn't," Joey answered, still knowing she was skating on a thin layer of ice with Pacey.
"Well, Doug had just finished chewing me out for being such a loser, and I went to cry at the docks. Jen found me and came up with this "master plan" so she could have Dawson back and I could try a relationship with you again," Pacey said. "I still love you, Jo," he added quietly. She decided to ignore the last comment.
"And you went along with it," Joey finished. "Tell me, Pacey, did you feel ANY remorse, knowing what you were doing to me?"
Pacey hesitated.
"I knew that it probably wasn't the right way to handle things, but it seemed like the only way at the time. Please, Jo, I was totally out of line, and if I could change things, I would. But I can't."
Joey looked him in the eye questioningly. Then her heart softened.
"I can forgive you, Pacey, but you better know that I won't forget. And I don't know if Dawson will do either," she ended, and walked away.
"I'm sorry, Joey," Pacey whispered as she walked away.
Dawson met up with Joey right after his last class of the day and took her hand to walk home.
"I had to go to class, but I was thinking about you the whole time," he began. "What happened?"
"I saw Pacey," Joey said quietly, "and he apoligized to me."
Dawson stopped and looked at her.
"What did he say?" he asked as calmly as he could.
"That he would change things if he could, but he knows he can't," Joey answered. "I forgave him, Dawson, but he knows that things won't be the same. I'll never forget what he tried to do to me, and he knows that, too. Please, can we just go home?"
Dawson stood watching her for a moment, then leaned in to kiss her lightly.
"All right."
Joey dropped her book bag on the floor in Dawson's room. She removed her jean jacket and shoes, then flopped down on the bed. Dawson came in a moment later, took off his shoes, and layed down on his back next to her. Joey was laying on her stomach and had her head turned to face Dawson who was staring at her intently.
"What are you looking at?"
"The most beautiful woman my eyes have ever beheld in my life and past lives," he answered. Joey blushed at his use of "woman" instead of "girl".
"You know what would feel really nice right now?" she asked.
"I can think of a few things..." Dawson teased.
"I meant a back massage," Joey retorted with a smile. Dawson got her drift. His mother had taken a couple's workshop thingy in massage, and taught Dawson how to do it one night when she pulled a muscle in her neck. It would DEFINATELY come in handy.
"All right then, take your shirt off," he began. Joey looked at him strangely. "My mom did a couple's thing in massage and taught me how to do it. You've got to take your shirt off..."
"Turn around," Joey said demurely. Dawson turned and said,
"It might be a good idea if I mention you have to remove ALL of your clothing."
"What kind of lesson did your mother give you, Dawson?" Joey teased him, and made Dawson blush. "Okay, you can turn around now."
When Dawson turned, he saw the most beautiful sight anyone could ever see. Joey was laying, facing him, in his bed, covered only with the top sheet. She held the sheet over her chest and leaned up on one elbow. Her hair fell, framing her face. Dawson was going to have a hard time (excuse the pun) getting this over.
"All right, then," he cleared his throat. "Lay on your stomach and relax."
Joey did as she was told. Dawson first went to the CD player and flipped on a Celine Dion Cd. He didn't know why it was in there, but it seemed like the right kind of music to play.
He removed his shirt to compensate for Joey's being naked and climbed onto the bed. He kneeled above her, one knee on each side of her tiny waist. Joey looked like she ws sleeping, but Dawson knew better. He placed his hands on the small of her back and moved his fingers in a circular motion.
"Mmm... that's nice, Dawson," Joey murmurred.
"Just relax," he said softly, "And tell me if anything hurts."
Her only response was a slight nod of the head, and Dawson traced shapes on her back with his knuckles. He moved up her spine and to her shoulders. Placing his hands just under her shoulder blades, he began to knead his fingers into the tight, tense muscles there. Joey relaxed with each passing moment and loved every moment of it. Half an hour later, Dawson stopped. He went to crouch by Joey's side and leaned over to whisper in her ear, "It's done."
Her eyelids fluttered open and looked at her boyfriend. His gentle expression portrayed the utmost love and respect she had ever seen.
"Make love to me, Dawson," she stated simply. Dawson moved over her, sitting on the edge of the bed. She leaned up and he caught her lips with his. The sheet covering her breasts fell, so they were pressed skin to skin.
Joey pulled Dawson down over her on the bed and pressed herself against his hard length. She smiled against his mouth and continued to kiss him with a passion she never knew she posessed. After a long while, Dawson broke the kiss breathlessly. They just looked at each other, and after a moment, Joey took Dawson's hand and laid it on her breast. The kissed gently and Dawson's lips traveled down her neck, biting softly. She sighed with contentment as he squeezed her breast. Joey tuned in to the song playing on the CD player...
"For all those times you've stood by me For all the truth that you made me see For all the joy you brought to my life For all the wrong that you made right For every dream you made come true For all the love I found in you I'll be forever thankful baby You're the one who held me up Never let me fall You're the one who saw me through Through it all You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'cause you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me..."
She held on to every ounce of sanity she had left, and in that moment, she knew that the song was true of her and Dawson. He was everything for her, and because he loved her, she lived. His mouth was showering her body in kisses now, and she let go of the real world. He whispered her name against her mouth and was out of the confines of his jeans in seconds. All coherent thought slipped out the window, and thank GOD the door was locked.
THE END!!!


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