The next morning, the newsies were joking and fooling around as usual. Jack was glad to see them like that again, but Race's betrayal still hurt him deeply. He noticed that his friends acted as if an invisible wall separated them from Race: no one touched him, no one talked to him, no one even looked into his eyes.
'He deserves it,' he thought. 'I should soak him for what he's put us all through these last days.' But seeing the struck and defeated look on Race's face, he could not help but feel a pang of sympathy.
While he studied the headlines in the yard of the World's building, Jack noticed that Race was slowly moving through the crowd, apparently asking each boy a question. But all he got were angry glances, some boys merely turned around and ignored him.
'What's going on?' Jack wondered.
Race was now just a few feet away, tapping Blink on the shoulder. Blink turned around, smiling. When he saw who it was, his gaze became cold.
"What do you want?" he asked.
Jack had to strain his ears to hear Race's answer.
"Could...could I sell with you today?"
"Are you kidding? I won't sell with a thief!"
"But...I need a partner."
"That's not my problem."
"Blink," Jack yelled out. "Do it, okay?"
"Why me?"
"Someone has to, and I'm already selling with Dave and LES." He emphasized the last word to convey he did not want the little boy to suffer from the atmosphere Race's presence would cause.
Blink sighed.
"Okay." He turned to Race. "But keep out of my way, leave me alone. Just stay where I can see you."
Race nodded, not raising his eyes to meet Blink's.
The day seemed like an eternity to Race. He always stayed around Blink, but carefully kept a distance. Hawking the headlines without any enthusiasm, he was surprised he nevertheless sold all of his papers.
'Must be pity. If I look half as bad as I feel...'
At noon, Blink went to Tibby's. Race followed him to the door, but stopped there.
"I'll be here, okay? You can see me through the window," he mumbled. He did not feel as if he could eat anything, and besides, he wanted to save money to be able to repay Jack as quickly as possible. Blink looked as if he was about to say something, but then he just shrugged and entered. Sighing, Race sat down on the doorstep.
After a few minutes of staring silently at his feet, he realized someone was talking to him. He looked up to see Crutchy.
"Err... what did you say?" he asked, startled.
"I asked," Crutchy repeated, "Won't you go inside?"
"No."
"Why not?" Though Crutchy's eyes were cold and not smiling as usual, Race still thought he could see a trace of sincere worry in them.
"I...I feel bad."
"You should. Or are you saying you're sick?"
"No...just..."
"Thought so. It won't help anyone if you don't eat out of guilt."
"At least it'll save some money..."
"Even with good headlines, it'll take you at least two month to pay Jack back. Surely you're not planning to fast all this time?"
"No, I..."
Crutchy sighed. "Go in and eat! Jack said he didn't want you to starve, remember? It's not that I'd advise you to join us at our table, but you definitely should eat something." He went inside.
Race followed him with his eyes.
'He still cares!' he realized. 'Sure, he's mad as anything about what I did, but he still cares...perhaps things will get all right again, someday?' It was the first time he allowed himself to hope. He rose slowly, went inside and bought a hot-dog.
Stealthy, he looked to the other newsies at their table. They were joking and laughing and did not seem to notice him. 'Will I be able to join them again one day, as I used to?' he wondered. Just some minutes ago that had seemed absolutely impossible, but now he was not so sure any longer.
In the evening, he returned to the Lodging House with Blink. When he entered the bunkroom, someone yelled
"Oh guys, watch your money, the thief's back!"
Race felt as if he had been struck in the face. Some newsies laughed, but Race also caught some sympathetic glances.
"What did you do today, Race? Rob a bank?"
Race cringed. 'I deserve it,' he thought.
"Yeah, or perhaps you were..."
"Shut up!" Race looked up to see who had supported him. Surprised, he realized it was Jack. "Let him be."
"You're defending him?"
"There's no defending what he did, but it still doesn't give you the right to behave like jerks."
Race walked over to Jack's bunk.
"I've got some money..." he began, fumbling in his pocket.
"You'll need to buy papes tomorrow. Give me what's left after this," Jack interrupted him.
Race nodded and began to turn around.
"Wait." Race looked back.
"Crutchy told me about today. He was right, I do want you to eat, even if it means I'll have to wait longer." His voice was matter-of-factly, but Race was sure there was some warmth in his eyes.
'He cares, too. And if HE still does...' But then he remembered the hateful remarks of the others, and began to doubt again.
That night, he lay awake for a long time, pondering the day's events.
'There is hope. I'm sure there is... But still, it could be it's not enough...' Despair threatened to creep up again, but Race tried to fight it down. 'Yesterday, it looked as if I had lost them forever. Now I've at least got some hope. That's more than I could expect.' He slept better that night.
The next morning, after he had bought his papers, Race approached Jack, who was just talking with David and Snipeshooter about the headlines.
"Jack..." he began shyly.
"Yeah?" Jack turned around.
"Here." Race stretched out his hand with fifteen cents in it.
Jack was about to take the money, when Snipeshooter spoke up.
"Hey, Cowboy, not that I drew him, but just out of general interest: Does Race still get a Christmas present?"
Race held his breath. 'Of course I don't!' he thought. 'I'll be the only one who doesn't have a parcel on Christmas...and I'll have to be there as I mustn't leave alone...' He shuddered, anticipating the isolation he knew he would feel.
He realized that Jack had not answered Snipeshooter's question yet. Looking up, he saw him glaring at the younger boy, obviously annoyed.
"Yes. He does," Jack said. "And you didn't draw him, so I don't see what right you have to ask this question anyway."
Race was totally baffled. Jack turned back to him.
"And you'll have to buy one, too. Or have you already?"
Race shook his head.
"Then keep the money to get one. Whoever it is you drew shouldn't have to suffer from your idiocy." His voice was cold again, but Race hardly noticed. He merely nodded and left the yard, following Blink who had allowed him to come with him again today. All he could think about was Jack's reaction to Snipeshooter's question.
'He was angry at Snipes. He knew Snipes wanted to hurt me and he didn't let him. That's the second time he defends me. He really still cares for me.' A feeling of warmth rose inside him. For the first time in days, the hint of a smile showed on his face.
Later that day, Race was sitting by the bunkroom's window alone, staring out into the cold winter's night. Behind him, his friends were laughing and chatting, already planning the Christmas celebration and explaining details to David and Les. It still hurt Race not to be able to take part. 'But that's my own fault,' he thought. 'And as long as they still care, I know everything can get all right again.'
After a while, he heard someone stepping up behind him. He turned around and saw Blink, Snaps, Mush, Specs and Skittery.
"Race," Blink spoke up, "can we borrow your cards? We want to play poker and..." He stopped, obviously uncomfortable.
'...and as you're not allowed to play with us...' Race thought. It hurt, but at the same time he was happy they had asked him. Hardly anyone spoke to him these days, and Blink's hesitation showed Race that Blink worried about hurting his feelings.
"Sure," he said. "They're under my mattress."
"Thanks." Blink moved to turn around, when suddenly Snaps spoke up.
"Oh, I'm really glad you said yes, Race, for if you hadn't, we couldn't have played. WE would NEVER take your things without your permission."
"Snaps," Blink shot. "Don't."
The others glared at Snaps angrily, and Skittery whacked him on the head.
"Shut up."
Race heaved a sigh of relief. Snaps remark had hurt, but the other's reactions had more than made up for this.
"Is it still 'Yes'?" Mush asked.
Race nodded.
"Okay."
They went to fetch the cards and started playing. Race watched them. He loved poker, but at that moment, it was not the game he missed. It was the joking and laughing with his friends. He would readily have given up gambling forever, if it had got him his friends' forgiveness.
Blink was losing one game after another. That was no surprise for Race, he knew that poker never was Blink's game. He enjoyed it, but he never seemed to be able to win.
After a few minutes, Blink ran out of money.
"Darn, " he said. "Wait, I'll fetch some more." He went to his bunk and pulled out a pouch. He looked into it, and suddenly shouted, "It's empty! All my money's gone!"
As if on command, all eyes in the room turned to Race. He went pale.
"I...I didn't...I don't know..." he stammered.
"Race!" Blink screamed, "Don't tell me you didn't do it! Give it back!"
"But I...I..."
"Are you trying to convince us that someone else turned thief? Forget it!" Boots yelled.
"Give back Blink's money." It was Mush.
Race shook his head. "I didn't do it! I swear I didn't!"
He looked at the others. Frantically, he searched their faces for one sign of trust, one sign that anyone believed him. But all he saw was anger, disappointment and accusation. He could not take it.
'They don't believe me. None of them. And how could they?'
"We're waiting, Race," Bumlets said.
Race panicked. He knew he had lost them forever now. He did not know what to say, he knew he had no chance to convince them.
'I can't stand their hatred...Away...I've got to get away!' That was the only thought he could grasp. Before anybody could react, he turned around, opened the window and jumped out onto the fire escape. As fast as he could, he climbed down and ran away through the snow, disappearing into the night.
The other newsies were taken completely by surprise. When they finally could move again and stormed to the window, there was no trace of Race anywhere.
"I can't believe he did it again." Crutchy shook his head sadly.
"Me neither. How could he?" David said.
The others just shook their heads, all of them confused and angry.
"Good thing he's gone!" Blink said. "I understand you let him stay after the first time, but that does it."
Jack slowly nodded. He could not understand Race. He knew the last few days had been hard for him, but that still did not explain how Race could had been so foolish to do it again. Yet Boots was right, Jack could not believe they had TWO thieves among them.
"I for one won't miss him!" Blink said angrily. Race had been one of his best friends. He was hurt deeply. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight." With that, he sat down on the bunk under his, which used to be Race's, and began pulling off his shoes. Suddenly, he gasped, "Oh my God! No!" His face went ghostly pale.
The others turned around to him.
"What is it?" Jack asked.
Blink stammered, rising panic in his voice, "I'd forgotten. When...when you said our belongings were no longer safe here...I...I took the money out of the pouch and put it into my shoe. Race didn't take it. It's still here."
His friends stared at him in complete shock. Jack closed his eyes, he was trembling with anger.
"I'll soak you for this, Blink. I swear I'll soak you!" He looked around at the others. "Spread out. We must find him. Quickly, there's no telling what might happen to him in his state."
Without another word, all of the newsies took off running. They began searching the streets of New York feverishly for their friend. The mere thought of what could happen to him if they did not reach him quickly made their blood run cold.
Jack fought his way through the snow. He had been looking for Race for hours now. The worry was eating him up.
'He's out all alone in this weather. He doesn't even have his jacket. God, let me find him soon.'
He rounded a corner and saw someone else coming through the snow. He looked closer and realized it was Blink.
"Has he been found?" Jack asked anxiously.
"No, I've just checked back at the Lodging House. Nothing." Blink did not look into Jack's eyes.
"Darn!"
"Kloppman has kept the younger boys inside after the snow started. They complain and want to go, but he doesn't let them."
"That's good. The little ones shouldn't be out in this weather."
"Mhh..." Blink was still staring at his feet.
"Let's go on searching," Jack said.
"Jack?" Blink shyly looked up.
"Yeah?"
"I'm so sorry about what happened."
Jack sighed. "It's okay. I know you didn't mean to."
"It's not okay. If anything happens to Race, it will be my fault."
Jack grabbed Blink's shoulders. He fixed him with a stern gaze.
"NOTHING will happen to Race. You hear me? Nothing at all!"
Blink nodded. "Yes, you're right, he'll be fine." His expression was grim.
Jack clapped him on the shoulder. "Right. So, let's go. You this way, I that."
"Okay."
They parted.
Jack made his way along the street carefully. He looked into a dark alley. All he saw were some crates, dustbins and junk. Sighing, he turned around. Suddenly, he heard a whimper coming from behind him. 'Probably just a cat,' he thought, and motioned to go on. But after some steps, he walked back. 'Can't hurt to check.'
He walked into the alley, searching for the source of the sound.
Behind a crate, he spotted a shaking form on the ground.
"Race?" he asked, shocked. "My God, Race!" He kneeled down besides the trembling body of his friend.
"Leave me alone, Jack," Race sobbed. Jack saw his face was awash with tears.
"Race, everything's all right. We know you didn't take Blink's money. He just misplaced it."
Race looked up at him. "He misplaced?" Then, he shook his head. "That doesn't change anything. I've...I've seen the looks in your eyes when it was missing. You...you...don't trust..." he sobbed. "I don't blame you for anything. I don't deserve any better. But I can't come back. Not as things are."
"Race, " Jack pleaded. "You can't stay here. You'd die."
"I don't care." The despair in Race's voice wrenched Jack's heart.
"Race, please, come with me. Let me bring you home."
"I've got no home any more, Jack. Not now that I've lost your friendship. You...you don't know how I feel..."
Jack looked into Race's eyes. They were full of loneliness and pain - a pain Jack suddenly recognized.
"Oh my God!" he gasped, pulling Race into his arms. "I know how you feel Race. I know exactly how you feel," he whispered.
"You do?" Race eyes showed doubt.
"Yes. My God, you must feel like I did when you all hated me for becoming a scabber. And you've been feeling like this for days..." Jack felt tears whelming up.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I put you through this."
"It was my fault. All of it. But I can't go on without your trust. Please, let me just stay here..."
"NO! Race, listen to me. You asked me whether you're still my friend. Yes, yes you are. I can't lose you, Race, none of us can."
"But I misused your trust. I've stolen your money, I'm not worth..."
"Race." Jack held his friend as arm's lengths, looking him straight into the eyes. "I've forgiven you. I always knew I would, I just was hurt, I needed time. I didn't realize what I put you through by waiting. I'm so sorry..."
"It's okay. Really, I deserved it. But go now, please, and leave me alone."
"No. No I won't. You didn't let me down then. You forgave me. You decided to trust me again. Race, everything can become all right again, I promise. Please, come home. You've got a family that misses you."
"You're...you're sure they want me back?"
"Of course they do. Why do you think we spent the night looking for you? We were sick with worry." His eyes pleaded. "Race, I beg you, come. Come home with me."
Doubt and hope were fighting on Race's face. Finally, he nodded.
"Okay, but I can't promise I'll stay..." He slowly stood up. Jack rose with him, still holding an arm around Race's shoulders. He smiled encouragingly.
"Let's go."
Race gave a tentative smile back, and began to leave the alley. But after some steps, the exhaustion overpowered him. His knees gave way, and he fell into unconsciousness.
When Race woke up, he was lying somewhere warm and soft. He looked around and saw he was on his bunk in the Lodging House. He was surrounded by the worried faces of the other newsies.
"Race!" a warm voice greeted him. Jack sat down on the bunk. "How do you feel?"
"How...how did I get here?" Race asked in confusion.
"I carried you."
"What?"
"Yes." Jack chuckled. "And I'd rather not do it again. You're quite a handful."
Race smiled. "Thanks for doing it."
"Hey, you didn't think it leave you there, in the snow, did you?" He squeezed his hand.
Race slowly shook his head. "No, no you'd never." He would not let go of Jack's hand.
'God, don't let this be a dream,' he thought. He had craved nothing but some sign of affection - a smile, a touch, anything - the last days, and now all this love and concern seemed too good to be true. He needed Jack's touch to be sure he was not just dreaming. Still he could not help fearing to wake up at any moment and find himself still lying in the dark, cold alley.
"Race?"
Race turned around and saw Blink's worried face.
"Yes?"
"I'm...I'm so sorry about what happened." His voice was full of guilt and shame.
Race shook his head. "It's okay. I deserved no better."
"Of course you did! You didn't take my money, and still I accused you, and didn't even hear you out. I'm really sorry."
"I'm sorry, too," Mush added.
"Yes, so am I," Skittery said.
All the newsies mumbled apologies.
Race looked at all of them. He felt awkward.
"There's no need to apologize, really. I understand you don't trust me anymore."
"We DO trust you, Race," Jack said. "I'm sorry about the way we treated you recently."
"It's my fault, Jack. I've stolen your money."
"Yes. You made a mistake. A big one. But when you really think about it, you never actually stole it, did you? You always planned to give it back."
"Still I had no right..."
"No you didn't. But we had no right to treat you the way we did, either."
Race wanted to contradict, but Jack hushed him.
"Stop discussing now and try to sleep. You need rest. You'll take it easy and won't work for a few days, understood?"
"But...but I must! I've got to make money, I've got to pay you..." Race stammered, confused.
"Shh...now will you shut up! The money can wait, or a you really THAT anxious to go back to the tracks?" He smiled.
"No, that's the least of my problems," Race answered.
"See? That is...Race, IF it is really important for you... then go, for God's sake."
"No. No I won't. I promised I wouldn't and I'll keep my word."
"You're sure?"
"Yes. I wouldn't enjoy it anyway, I'd feel I had no right to be there."
Jack hugged him. "Okay, so try to sleep now."
Race looked around at his friends once more. There was still nervousness in his eyes.
"We'll all be here, Race. You won't be alone. Okay?"
"Okay," Race smiled, closing his eyes. He fell asleep almost instantly.
The next time he awoke, it was to Kloppman's shouting.
"Get up boys, sell the papes!" the old man yelled, as he did every morning.
Race smiled. 'I didn't dream, I'm really here.' He sighed with relief.
Blink jumped down from the top bunk and smiled at him.
"Heya Race! How do you feel?"
Race's head hurt, and he still felt weak, but he was determined to work and earn money, so he grinned and said
"Very well!" He rose quickly. "I'm really sure I can work tod..." The ground seemed to begin to shake, and Race nearly fell. Blink grabbed his arm and sat him down on the bed.
"Oh, yes, I'm sure you're great! You lie down and rest, at once!"
"No, Blink, really..."
"Blink's right!" Jack walked over to Race. "You're white like chalk! You don't go anywhere today!" He pushed him back on the bed, "Sleep."
Race gave in. "Okay, I'll stay here. But tomorrow I'll work."
"We'll see. After yesterday, it's no wonder you're totally exhausted. I don't want you to get seriously ill."
"Exactly," Blink confirmed. "You'll rest till you're really fit again."
Race was happy to hear how much his friends cared for him, but still he was not comfortable with it. He felt as if he did not deserve it, and he was afraid that his friends could realize this, too, and treat him like an outcast again at any moment.
'I wish I could pay Jack back. Then the debt would no longer be between us...'
He knew Jack did not care about the money too much, but to him it was a giant burden on his conscience.
Jack seemed to notice his nervousness.
"Will you be all right here? Or shall I stay with you?"
"No, no I'll be okay," Race answered hastily. The last thing he wanted was Jack to lose a day's income because of him.
"You're sure?" Jack looked doubtful.
"Go ahead and sell the papes, Cowboy!" Kloppman interrupted. "I'll look after this lazybones!" He smiled at Race.
"Okay," Jack laughed. "See you tonight, Race!"
"See you," Race nodded.
For a while, he watched his friends getting ready for the day, but soon, he fell asleep again.
Jack met David and Les in the World's yard.
"How's Race?" was their first question.
"Oh, still weak, but he'll be okay," Jack smiled.
"Very good," David said. He handed Jack a bag. "Here is that candy you gave me for safekeeping. You might as well store it at the Lodging House again."
"Yes, thanks. Which reminds me that there's still lots to do before Christmas. I didn't get to do anything between the last days' events."
"Well, you've still got two days," Dave said.
"Yes, but there's quite a lot to do. I guess I won't sell tomorrow, or at least not much."
"Need any help?"
"No, thanks. It's a one-man job."
With that, they left the yard and started selling.
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