by Maggie McKenzieII, M.A.: Fred Friedberg, PH.D.; Robert Fontanetta, Lucy Dechene, PH.D.(Partial List. Not in order of importance). This was taken from the MEssenger dated October 1995.

* Stop immediately when fatigued
* Nap or rest 3-4 hours even on a good day
* I work a little, rest a little, etc.
* When I become very tired I've learned I need to give into it
* Have a comfortable place to rest outside and enjoy nature
* Avoid stress
* I refuse to argue about things - drains my energy
* Start Xmas shopping in March
* Give other family members more responsibilities
* Learn to build a new life
* Read uplifting, spiritual books/watch funny TV & stories or movies
* Phone others who are ill and try to help them know they're not alone
* Conserve energy for important things (so) as to not to miss out on life
* Humor, humor and more humor
* When making plans always try to take my variable health into consideration
* Sometimes I weigh if the energy spent on an activity or social event is worth the suffering
afterwards
* Remember always that relationships get Top priority when energy is low
* Don't waste energy explaining your condition to skeptics
* Try to have piece of mind so that you can go through life without everyone understanding
* Avoid people who stress me
* Find rewarding things you can do to bolster self image/esteem and sense of control
* Accepting, trusting, loving yourself no matter what
* Find escapes that work for you (movies, books, special friends, etc.)
* Avoid contact with people that have attitudes of "you could get better if you really.."
including your family
* Make lists/ one or two priorities a day. If I do them I feel better and things aren't such a mess
* Try to remember bad days will pass and I will feel better for some (unknown) period of time
* Change my priorities
* Don't waste time worrying about what could have been
* Simplify, lower, limit goals
* Feel the pain rather than take pills or distract myself
* What is, is enough
* Be in the moment...It contains all life
* Ask what is the lesson? What is the purpose?
* Phone networking with PWCs for support
* Allow myself to be good to myself
* Try to involve myself in helping others
* Unload emotionally or physically drained friendships, relationships
* Apply for rental assistance
* Healthy life style, strict diet
* Live with animals
* Optimize use of appliances
* Hire a cleaning lady
* Use stick-ons in purse so each time I open purse I'm reminded of what to do
* Use speaker phone if arms too weak
* If I have left a message for someone to return my call, I leave that person's name circled on
a pad with what I'd called about, near the phone
* I get washed and dressed and go out every day even if just to drive to video store
* Keep a positive attitude
* Pace myself - engage in fun, pleasurable activities as much as possible
* Keep busy by learning new things - correspondence school
* Yoga, sunshine, diet, sleep and no stress
* Take charge - doctors give advice, and I make the decisions
* When spent, use wheelchair to conserve energy
* Evoke good memories, triumphs and laughter
* Use light weight tools and cooking utensils
* Diet, nutrition, relaxation tapes
* Practice optimism (some call this denial)
* Break all tasks into pieces and tackle one only at a time - Drop out of periods of time
(let your self crash)
* Keep a sense of humor
* Let the house be dirty, order a pizza or use freezer dinners
* Don't make a fulfilling life contingent upon being well
* Get groceries delivered
* Write...often in prayer form
* Accept I have an illness that prevents me from being my once energetic self
* Stop feeling guilty for what I can't do, and mentally or verbally praise myself for what I do get
done
* I dream about a cure/treatment
* Do something everyday, ie. dishes one day, dust one day, wash clothes another, etc.
* Exercise
* Find levels of exercise I can tolerate and don't exceed it
* No unnecessary exercise
* Mild exercise - slow swimming
* Don't go beyond the confines of the box your life is in
* Listen to your body
* Get on computer and learn everything I can about my illness
* Don't forget to say your prayers
* Ask for help when you need it
* Say "No"
* Be smart, if not smarter than your doctor
* Try not to compare yourself to healthy people
* Use a scooter, a (disabled) parking permit, and do a lot by phone
* I always look forward to tomorrow
* I do crossword puzzles to keep my mind reasonably sharp"
* Shop at 6 am - grocer and drug store - no line
* Firmly believe I have value as a human being even though ill
* I'm never without psychotherapy
* Acknowledge my illness, quit pretending
* Support group and giving and receiving help, donations for research
* Develop my own Physical Therapy program to help pain (regular ones make it worse)
* Do the things you have to get done during the time you have more energy even if they aren't
required until later (lunch, dinner, etc.)
* Simplify my life to whatever degree is possible
* Try to keep active just this side of my relapse "electric fence"
* Don't discuss my illness with anyone but my doctor, PWCs, my wife/husband
- former coworkers, friends just don't believe I have an illness - trying to explain CFIDS makes me angry and humiliated
* Have tried to let fo of MOST analretentive, perfectionist tendencies
* Pray to God
* Accept that I'm OK anyway, eve if I can't drive or listen or whatever, I'm OK
* Don't give up all my aspirations and interests from before I developed M.E.
* Saturate my life with beautiful people and things and eliminate critical judgemental people
and their twisted thinking
* Live one day at a time
* Give books, videos, etc. along with info on M.E./CFS to my doctor and any other doctors who
will read - also congress persons, etc.
* Always plan to do fun things even if need to cancel
* Use medications that help without guilt
* For falling barometric pressure, brain fog and fatigue, alcohol improves symptoms - believe it
increases blood flow to brain. (However this cannot be used regularly as it would lead to other
problems)
* Just scream sometimes
* Develop acceptance of my condition, limitations and their affect on my life - not in terms of
defeat, but in terms of a having different way of living and functioning as best I can within
these differences
* Accept the reality of my mostly unpredicable level of function with humor and recognize my
desire that I be other than what I am whenever it pops up (always frustrated)
* I keep informed about FM/CFIDS and consider my options
* At first sign of relapse - rest until symptoms abate
* Self-hypnosis - to beat the pains in joints and muscles
* Find the small joys of life

(From the International Coalition of Long Term CFIDS/M.E. Patients)



Lady Barb has made many of these articles interactive and I hope she has done so with this as many of us have come up with our own coping strategies.

Hey, if you know something that's helped you....share it so that other CFS people can have the opportunity to use it as well. If she hasn't done it to this article....please e-mail me with your coping strategies.

The Shadow Warrior has bought Lady Barb a tape recorder to help her cope and she thinks this is great because now she doesn't loose all the papers she makes notes on.

Well, now I have one because to shut down your mind at night...you must get rid of the thoughts....I too, was writing them down and loosing the papers, so the tape recorder was a great suggestion. You can find the Lady Barb and the Shadow Warrior and their many wonderful causes by clicking on their site name:
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