The Eagle and The Prairie Chicken

Dear Friends on our Journey ~

My name is Mari and I am a compulsive overeater and a dreamer. As I make my journey to recovery, I want to make as many of my dreams come true as I possibly can.

"The end of wisdom
is to dream high enough
to lose the dream
in the seeking of it."

William Faulkner

At some point in my past, I quit dreaming. I became a "prairie chicken." Let me tell you about that.

There was once the following story:

"A man found an eagle's egg and put it into the nest of a prairie chicken. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them.

All his life, the eagle, thinking he was a prairie chicken, did whatever the other prairie chickens did. He scratched in the dirt for seeds and insects to eat. He clucked and cackled. And he flew in a brief thrashing of wings and flurry of feathers no more than a few feet off the ground. After all, that's how prairie chickens were supposed to fly.

Years passed. The eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird far above him in the cloudless sky. Hanging with graceful majesty on the powerful wind currents, it soared with scarcely a beat of its strong wooden wings.

"What a beautiful bird!" said the eagle to his neighbor. "What is it?"

"That's an eagle - - the chief of the birds," the neighbor clucked. "But don't give it a second thought. You could never be like him."

So the eagle never gave it another thought. And it died thinking it was a prairie chicken."

When I think how close I came to living the rest of my life as a prairie chicken, I break out in a cold sweat. I had so many dreams that I just gave up on. I'm dreaming dreams again. I had things I wanted to do that I felt would never happen. They happened. I have things that I still want to do ... I have hope now and the realization that if I want them to happen badly enough, I can *make* them happen.

I no longer PUSH in order to do something. I either do it because I *want* to do it ... or I don't do it. I remember PUSHING myself to go to Europe once. My disease made me think I didn't want to go ... that it was something I could not have any fun at doing. But I didn't realize the dream ... and instead I went not thinking I would have any fun. I pushed myself to go. And I had no fun.

Dreams and pushing. Fly like the eagle or strut around the chicken yard like a prairie chicken. Prairie chickens do a little ... they have a life ... but they don't fly. They don't soar.

I want to SOAR!!!!!!!!!!

Dear God,
When I get complacent
And want to roost ~ ~
Let me dream.
When my dreams
Aren't coming true ...
Help me to make them come true .....
Help me to SOAR!!!!!!!

Love,
Mari
Marisok@aol.com
The Recovery Group