Oct 19 1997 The evening of Oct 18 was just another typical night around our house. I had my friends daughter Ashlee over who was 9 and we were just messing around with the computer.She wanted to call Jon to see if he was coming home soon. We did and he said he had plans. We laughed a little and talked for a while and he said not to wait up he would be home at 4. Little did we know how true that was! I finally convinced Ashlee to give up play time around 2AM and we layed down on the couch. She was fast asleep in no time; I awoke at exactly 4 AM and tried to go to bed, but was feeling rather restless and Jon was not home. I did not know why, at the time, I felt that way, until later . I guess it falls under being a Mother. The next morning we awoke to a knock on the door. I went to the door and saw a man standing there and immediately felt fear. I called out to my husband and then I opened the door. He asked me if I was Jons mother I said yes. By that time my husband had come and the man came inside. He saw Ashlee on the couch and mentioned if there was another place to talk. We went to the dining room and sat down. That walk seemed to take forever as I was then filled with fear. What I heard I do not think anyone is ever prepared for..nor can or do you want to believe it. He said "Folks..there is no easy way to tell you this..Jon was killed in a car crash last night" He died at 4AM!! I do not remember much after that except my husband holding me. I can remember some details..some denial...some crying..but most of it is very sketchy. I eventually wandered into the living room and saw Ashlee sitting on the couch crying her eyes out I tried to console her the best I could...as she held me very tightly. It was no use..devastation had set in all around. The detective stayed for a long time speaking with my husband. He was very kind and I am sure took great care in trying to help..as he had also lost 5 family members to a Drunk Driver on Christmas day. He understood. As I tried to remember what or who to call, I thought of how would I tell my daughter..my mother...his friends? My daughter came home and as she walked in she knew something was wrong. She took one look at me and knew it was bad. All I had to do was say Jon and she colLapsed onto the floor. I tried again to console, all the while trying to think how am I going to make it. My son ..my baby..gone!! Why? We talked for a while and she is the one who decided to go tell Jon's father. He was at church and close by. Paul, her boyfriend, took her there. She first spoke with the paster who went to get Dave..Jennie told him "Dad, there's been an accident..Jon has gone home to Heaven" I still to this day do not know how she found the strengh to tell him. Shortly after he came over we met..and the 3 of us stood crying and hugging and still asking Why?? Why our Jon?? Many tears shed that day..little did we know at the time..many more to come..never ending. I guess sometime, we composed ourself long enough to tell others. Then people started arriving...kids..parents..more devastation..more tears. The day turned into a big blur of tears ..do not remember much of it. Just that my heart was empty. All because someone made the decision to Drink and Drive!! I remember going to get flowers and then to the Funeral home. We made arrangements..the necessary things I guess. You do not have much choice..you just do it . In your heart you still do not believe. You still wait thinking you will wake up from this nightmare. You walk in ..you know this is the time you have been waiting for..for days..to see him ..to touch him..to tell him, "I love You son." Then you go as if in a dream, to the casket. You look..your heart breaks! He is so cold..so very cold. Why can't he be warm? Why did they have to do that to his head? Why is his face so pale? Where are his beautiful blue eyes? Why can't he open them? The scars..what happened to him!!! Why is this happening..WHY !!! This boy was born 2 months early and had to fight for every breath he took for weeks. Why did he have to be taken so savagely! He fought for breath at the end also..why did he have to suffer so? Why wasn't it me instead? People come...hundreds of people. People I haven't seen in years They are sorry..everyone is sorry..They all ask why..I don't know why..why my son my baby!! We go thru the motions of talk..crying and hugging..still no one can tell me why. His friends are devastated..unconsolable..so many broken hearts and dreams. Everyday we read of another senseless death. Everyday someone else makes the decision to Drink and Drive. Everyday another Mother ,Father, Sister Brother , Grandparent or Aunt and Uncle goes thru this heartache. Everyday, someone loses their life to a Drunk Driver. More heartache..more devastation. We fight continuously to stop this crime and try to educate others on awareness. Our vow to you son..is that we will fight until our dying breath to stop this crime..to try to tell everyone what can happen when they chose to Drive Drunk. Life will always have a void..without you..our life will never be quite complete. This crime has taken you from us..from your friends..and we have no one to carry on our family name. Your neices and nephews will never hear your laughter or see your smile or feel your big bear hugs. They will only know you thru us. thanks to the one that made the decision to Drive Drunk! We will carry on our fight..our vow to you..We will cherish our memories of you and your love, your laugh. your unselfishness to help others. Your friends will never forget you or what you did for them. They will always love you Jon..and wait for the day to see your beautiful blue eyes again. Your friend Zoe wrote "Your eyes were the Windows to Your Soul". No truer words ever written. We will miss you my Son...always. |
