The Car Tag Manifesto
INTRODUCTION
1. What is Car Tag?
Car tag is a passing game played between two or more cars at highway
speeds.
2. What is the point of Car Tag?
The point of car tag--for all of those involved--is to exploit one's
car's potential to the fullest in a friendly, slightly competitive
environment. Car tag is _not_ adversarial; it is not the game of "you
cut me off, I can cut you off better." Rather, all of the "players"
understand exactly what is going on and play the game to enjoy their
cars and a sort of road-bound camraderie.
Car Tag is also an excellent way of sharing the risk of a speeding
ticket. See the advanced techniques below.
3. Who do I play Car Tag with?
Car Tag can be played with any sort of car, but it is most fun when
you play with a car that is a rough match for your own car's
abilities. It is even better when the car roughly matches yours but
is from another manufacturer. Classic Car Tag combinations that I
have experienced or witnessed are:
a. Honda Accord and Toyota Camry
b. Mercedes E50 and BMW 540i or M5
c. Mazda Miata and Mercury Capri
d. Nissan Maxima and Toyota Cressida
e. Ford Escort GT and Mazda Protege
Notice that I did not use "vs."--this is supposed to be fun, and done
in a spirit of friendship.
That having been said, it is a lot of fun to pit your car against one
that is a class or two above, because Car Tag is also a game of
traffic navigating skill. I was once able to beat my dad to my
cousin's wedding, even though the car he was driving had a
230-horsepower advantage over mine.
4. Where can I play Car Tag?
Car Tag can be played on any public road, but is best practiced on
highways with long straightaways and sweeping curves. It should not
be played on residential streets where speed and lane changes would
be dangerous. My favourite Car Tag venues are the Toronto-Montreal
run, the states of Minnesota and Montana, and, in Toronto, the
Bayview Extension.
Montana especially is a great place to play Car Tag as there is no
daytime speed limit. But that does not mean that you can drive
irresponsibly.
5. At what speed should I play Car Tag?
Play it at the appropriate speed for your car. This is the point of
rule #3; Car Tag can be fun even when played at 80 km/h (combination
c.) Usually, it is played at about 20% over the posted speed limit,
but can go up to 2.5 times should the cars be powerful enough and the
road deserted enough. If in traffic, a slower game of Car Tag can be
played with more than two cars. See the "advanced Car Tag techniques"
below.
6. Preparing your car for Car Tag
Car Tag must be played with a properly prepared automobile. This does
not mean installing any special equipment or anything. It simply
involves preparing your car to run reliably at high speeds.
a. Make sure all windows are clean and that the windshield-washer
tank is full.
b. Check all tire pressures. Make sure no tires are worn out.
c. A full tank of gas--premium is best--is imperative. The best games
are played over several hours. (Aside: I once played Car Tag with a
Ford Ranger on the way to Kingston, and we stopped simultaneously.
The driver congratulated me on the time I was making, showing the
true Car Tag spirit.)
d. Clean off all the lights. Make sure your high-beams are working
(for nighttime games of Car Tag.)
e. Wash the car--this is more for the game's image than anything
else.
PLAYING CAR TAG
1. Choosing somebody to play with
While driving down the highway, keep an eye open for potential Car
Tag players.
a. Car Tag players drive late-model cars and trucks. GMC pickups seem
to be very popular--I once played with some Alaskans, the passenger
with her foot out the window. You don't want to play Car Tag with old
and ratty cars, becaus they may break during the game, ruining the
fun.
b. Most Car Tag players are relatively young, but well-educated. Old
people don't like to play Car Tag (except my dad, who taught me how.)
They think it's dangerous. Nor do you want to play with young idiots,
who will turn the camraderie into a winner-takes-all match that will
most likely end in an accident.
c. Watch out for highly accessoized cars. See the note on young
idiots above. A young idiot driving a flashily done-up Civic or
American musclecar like a Mustang or a Camaro is dangerous. Do not
play Car Tag with these people. However, older gentlemen driving
musclecars are very good people to play with.
d. Innocuous colors are best. You don't want the cops catching on to
your little game, so don't play with flashily-painted vehicles,
especially red ones. You're both going to be going fast, and will be
close together, so you don't want any undue attention being drawn to
you. Grays, greens, beiges and blues are best.
e. Learn to car-spot. It's especially fun to play Car Tag with people
driving "Q-Ships" (even better if you drive a Q-Ship yourself.) A
Q-Ship is a car with incredible performance wrapped in an innocuous
shell. By learning about front airdams, tire width, spoilers, and
exhaust pipes, you will learn to avoid certain Q-Ships if you can't
handle them; if you yourself drive a high-performance vehicle, a
Q-Ship driver is often the most fun kind of person to play with, as
both of you understand the understatedness of the game, and both of
you enjoy driving fast. Some examples of Q-Ships to avoid (or play
Tag with) are below.
i. Mercedes 500E/E500/E50/E420 (the champion!--look for tire width,
subtly flared fenders)
ii. BMW 540i six-speed or M5 (look for wheels and airdam, M5 badge on
grille--"fake" M5s have the badge on the back but only real ones have
it in front)
iii. Ford Taurus SHO (look for bodyside cladding, wide wheels, and
SHO badges)
iv. Nissan Maxima SE (big tires and rear spoiler)
v. Ford Mustang two-door sedan (look for tires and 5.0 badges)
vi. Toyota Corolla FX16 (look for badges, fender flares and rear
spoiler)
vii. Ford Contour SVT (look for oval grille opening and wide
tires)
viii. Volkswagen Golf GTI (red trim)
ix. Audi S4/S6 (look for different wheels and the
three-slashes-of-red badge on the back.)
2. Starting the game
Once you have selected a proper opponent, pull up behind him or her,
trail the car at a safe distance for about five kilometers (if on the
highway.) Then flash your high beams _once_--once only!--and then
pass, pulling in front of your chosen companion at a safe distance.
Watch your rear-view mirror.
If the car flashes its high beams and passes you using the same
technique, you have a game.
CAR TAG TECHNIQUE
1. Passing
Passing is always done on the left, and no cutting-off is ever
allowed. Passing on the right is a definite no-no. Never crowd your
opponent and then pull out at the last minute, and never tuck right
back in front of him and cut him off. It's OK to pass your comrade
and several cars at once; it's part of the game, and he will
eventually pass all those cars and you if he's still in the game.
2. Lighting
Always, always, use your turn signals. Never play Car Tag without
them, as it is not only discourteous to your comrade but also to
other drivers on the road. Signal and you will have their best wishes
as you zoom by. Here are some pointers that I picked up in Germany
that may or may not be useful here.
a. High-beams (this definitely applies): don't flash them more than
once, and never flash them at your opponent. He's probably just
waiting for a safe place to pull in and let you pass. If you're
signalling for some other "tethered goat" on the highway to get out
of your way, flash once and only once. If not, passing on the right
is permissible, as the person is not in the game.
b. The left-turn signal: in Germany, if a Car Tag player is on a
power run, he drives down the left lane with his left turn signal on.
This is a signal to "speed up or get out of my way." I've only seen
this once in North America, but it's something to keep in mind.
c. Lights in general: always play Car Tag with your full lighting
system on. It's all too easy to get caught up in a game and forget
that you're only on your DRLs as dusk approaches.
3. Safety
a. All participants in Car Tag should be properly belted and
secured.
b. Both hands on the wheel at all times, except when changing
gears.
c. All cupholders in closed position. No loose drinks. Nasty spills
on certain body parts can cause massive accidents at Car Tag
speeds.
d. All items inside the cabin of the car should be secured. Try to
keep it as free from debris as possible. Exceptions to this rule are
a mapbook and a pen. No food, no drinks, and no toys are allowed. An
accident at Car Tag speeds could turn any of these objects into
high-velocity projectiles that can do a lot of damage.
ADVANCED CAR TAG
1. Car Tag with more than two cars
This variation on Car Tag was invented (as far as I know) in
California, where I first experienced it. The way it is played is
that one joins a line of about twenty cars going roughly the same
speed--about 20 mph over the posted limit--moving down the center or
right lane. Every fifteen minutes or so, the "leader" of the line
drops to the back of the pack, and another car moves to the front.
(In another variation, the car bringing up the rear passes all of the
other cars to assume the lead.) The main point of this "line of Car
Taggers" is to spread the risk of a speeding ticket over many cars;
it is usually the lead car, the last car, and maybe two of the other
eighteen cars that get tickets, while the others get off scot-free.
This is why there are periodic changes of the guard.
Mass Car Tag moves slightly slower than regular Car Tag, because of
the number of cars involved and their closer proximity. The same
rules for passing and safety still apply, even more so as the cars
are close together.
2. High speed Car Tag
High speed Car Tag is played at speeds in excess of 200 km/h. It is
played only by the "Big Dogs," cars with 300 or more horsepower,
typically ones that are also built in Germany. Germany is the ideal
place to play high-speed Car Tag, as their lanes are wider and less
poplated (never mind no speed limit.) The same rules of safety apply,
with these modifications:
a. No objects at all loose in the cabin. All gloveboxes, storage
containers, etc. are locked securely.
b. The game is played only on roads without traffic during the early
morning (such as 4am, Montreal to Toronto.)
c. Both drivers' pockets must be deep enough to assume the cost of
the speeding ticket--but then at this level, with the cars that are
likely to be involved, this should be a non-issue.
d. The cars involved must be in perfect condition. Any flying
parts at this speed could take out both cars in an instant.
3. Car Tag on city streets
While Car Tag is a game predominately played on highways, it can be
played on relatively uncrowded, fast-moving, city streets like
Bayview, York Mills, Leslie, or Highway 7. The game changes but is
just as fun:
a. There is a greater emphasis on traffic skills, moving safely in
and out of lanes while passing.
b. Acceleration becomes an important deciding factor if you pull up
to a stoplight astride of your opponent. Timing your shifts properly
is imperative (I once was Car Tagging with a Jeep that had a bad
launch and stalled; I also have ground the gears because of mistiming
my first-second while playing with a Dodge Caravan.) If you drive a
car with an automatic transmission, learn how to shift it
manually.
c. Keep a constant eye out for potholes and bumps in the road.
d. Come to a screeching halt at yellow lights if necessary to keep
the game alive.
e. Because of its stop-and-go nature, Car Tag on city streets levels
the playing field between cars, as the "counter" is "reset" at each
red-lighted intersection. This is the perfect opportunity to play
with a car two or three levels above yours, performance-wise. (In my
Accord, I Car-Tagged a Porsche 930 Turbo down Steeles, from Leslie
all the way up to McCowan, before he got the best of me.)
ENDING THE GAME
Below are described the many ways of ending a game of Car Tag,
ranging from the least desirable to the most.
1. Forced to slow down
No explanation needed--you run into traffic.
2. The pull-out
Your exit comes up and you must leave. If you're within range of your
friend, give a wave as you slow down.
3. The simultaneous pull-out
You enter the exit ramp together and then one of you turns left and
one of you turns right.
4. The simultaneous refill
The situation is described above. You go for gas at the same time,
introduce yourselves to each other, and congratulate each other on
your performances.
5. Finding out you're going to the same place
This usually happens after the simultaneous refill; this is what
happened with the Ford Ranger. We happily Car-Tagged all the way into
that great city before parting ways (the pull-out) downtown.
6. Sanctioned Car Tag
Let me plug one of my favorite things in the world here, Car and
Driver magazine's One Lap of America. This basically amounts to a
5000-mile game of Car Tag with races in between stops, where you Car
Tag on famous race tracks.
APPENDIX: MY FAVOURITE CAR TAG STORY OF ALL TIME
We once car-tagged all our way across South Dakota with a maroon GMC
pickup truck carrying two young Alaskans, one of whom was seemingly
half-naked and dangling one foot out the window. The guy driving was
having a really hard time concentrating, but managed to keep pace
with us all across that plateau of a state, while what must have been
his girlfriend kept on waving her foot at us each time they went by.
When we passed them, he would look down at her, smile, and then wave
again, only to pass us five minutes later. I don't know for sure what
was going on in the cab of that pickup, but whatever it is I'm sure
Ralph Reed would have had a fit had he been there.
If you have a favourite Car Tag story--or in fact, any kind of car
story--that you would like to share,
email it to me and
I'll start up a mailing list.