Dedictated to Audrey

 Junkie

How pitifule I am
I'd sell everything I love
everything I have
for her drug

For her bliss 
for her kiss
I'd gladly pay any price
or give my life
for the joy she gives

For her face
her sweet embrace
I'd gladly take a life in chains
I am willing
to live
out in the streets
and wear 
dirty rags unclean
as long as I have her,
I'll have the joy 
that her drug can 
give to me

          Who am I?

             I.

Damn you all who can't see me
For the shadow that covers
What I really am
I am not like those before me
I am but a different man
Damn it must I say again
Must I tell you that I have a first name
Just because I fill the shoes of others
Doesn't mean I'm just the same
I will tear out my own path
I will think think things for myself
I will build up kingdoms of glory
I will build up endless wealth
I will take this shadow and rise above it
Higher and higher, unto the the sky
Untill it is under my shadow,
that the others, will now lie

            II.

I am not the son of one
who picked up what my fater
had first begun
Don't push your frame of mind on me
I will hold strong my liberty
I will never follow you 
and let you lead me on that damned path
I will walk all alone
and build a road for myslef at last.

       Dog on the Porch
(an Ode to victims of desparation)

The sound of the slamming door
Brings flashes of despair to my brain and soul
my hand scratches up on the wood
I am the dog, left in the cold

Squeal and scream as I might
Nothing will make my master open the door
To find me whimpering
In the cold, cruel night

So this darkness will be my grave
Never again to see the light
I will accept this horrible fate
and  die with protection, just in sight

Through the window I seed food and warmth
Watching my life fall slowly away
I will die of hunger or frost
nerver again to see the break of day

So now I howl my song to the shining moon
My last remaining source of light
I can only sit on the porch and wait
for death to creep upon me in the night

Footsteps 
in the dark echo
into the past 
where stands the little boy
I once knew

Looking for him now
I only find a man 
with his eyes, his smile
is sad

Smile for me again, I ask
of the man before me, and
bring back the child 
I knew you once to be

Where has he gone? 
Are you still 
the same, although 
you've changed so much?

Innocence lost.
Experience gained.
        
Where do we stand now, I ask
of the man who is my brother,
and the child who was my friend.

Beach
Liquid warmth surges
around and past my legs
as I pick up a shell 
listening as ocean 
fills my mind
with serenity 
of whale-song.

Mindsight

You're out of sight
I'm out of mind
calling your name, but
you are blind to my pain,
my tears, my hate, 
my fears of being alone 
with loneliness as my only friend
to sit through my crying
about lying to you
it's so trying to know 
I hurt you 
        
I keep denying how much
you meant to me and now
you're gone  

I'm alone wishing I'd been
shown how to tell you 
I'm sorry.